Growth or comfort. Choose one?

[enchanted]

Hello beautiful people of the actualized.org forum. I hope everyone is having a great day. This is a great piece of advice by Mark Manson in a yt short. Comfort and growth are contradictory most of the time. Just sharing in case it can help someone, like it did me. Cheers 

Edited yesterday at 12:52 PM by enchanted

[YIDIRYIDIR]

Thanks

[LordFall]

Totally agreed. To keep growing you have to do a few challenging things each month and keep pushing your boundaries. I move cities often so I've seen friends that stagnated and stopped growing and it's pretty sad to see. I experience when someone has been stagnating when they have nothing to talk about. They aren't into business so they don't have any cool projects they're working on. Not really an intellectual so don't follow politics or the economy. Not really socially relevant so they don't know any interesting interesting about people in the city.

I don't know how to communicate with people like this. Sometimes they are at least good at talking about themselves so they ramble on and I doze off but sometimes they are bad at conversation and give one word answers and then it becomes truly awkward. 

Edited yesterday at 06:38 AM by LordFall

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Can you choose both?

The dichotomy is odd to me... I choose growth, and I am comfortable in that space of expansion and challenge  

Many people these days drive for comfort. Tap out of the money matrix by earning enough to retire early. Stay in the jammies and order in. Stick with shows they know. Music they have heard a million times. Repeat. Comfort, predictability. Certainty.

Once we have many needs satisfied, we tend to find problems where there existed none. What a bunch of malcontents!

People dislike the pain of chaotic and uncertain challenge that might stimulate growth. In truth, we want to pick the challenges we face in life. But sometimes what we choose isn't what is best for us.

tl:dr I refuse the question!

Thanks for the share

[enchanted]

2 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Can you choose both?

The dichotomy is odd to me... I choose growth, and I am comfortable in that space of expansion and challenge  

Absolutely. But Mark Manson is also making a great point. People on the lower end of the motivation and change scale might experience growth as more painful, yet they might be the ones who need it most. Coincidentally there is a stage called transcendence, and if you are there, then perhaps regular self help doesn't apply to you. 

 

[AION]

Mark Manson is the McDonald’s of self help. His advice is so dumbed down with false dichotomies and simplified logic that it is almost useless but he is smart and he knows what the audience wants. That is by the way the secret to get rich which is not to feed pearls to pigs. 

[enchanted]

32 minutes ago, AION said:

 

31 minutes ago, AION said:

Mark Manson is the McDonald’s of self help. His advice is so dumbed down with false dichotomies and simplified logic that it is almost useless but he is smart and he knows what the audience wants. That is by the way the secret to get rich which is not to feed pearls to pigs. 

Ok then share something better.

[bazera]

Any skill that you want to build will be challenging at first, that challenge becomes more tolerable over time, but you still need to keep it at least slightly challenging than what you're used to, to keep progressing, if the progress and growth is what you're interested in.

Same for dealing with trauma and psychological issues. Most endeavours that we value and most things that we want to acquire and don't currently have will need some kind of a discipline to get. Repeated exposure is often key to actually see some results in whatever you're practicing, piano, meditaiton or conscious relationships, or whatever.

But I don't like the demonization of comfort either. Why is comfort bad? That's a good question. "Being outside of a comfort zone" became one of those conformist self-help cliches that people just parrot. Maybe depending where you are in life, more comfort is what you need. It's all so personal and intimate, I don't like these templates that people sugget for "growing yourself".

The advice applies to more obvious things like if you want to lose weight, and are lazy, yeah, you'll need to choose gym over comfort of your bed each time.

[AION]

25 minutes ago, enchanted said:

Ok then share something better.

Orion Taraban’s stuff works.