Interesting Ego-Dissolving Behaviours Observed on Psychedelics

[Tristan12]

To preface this, for over a year now I have being going through a process led by divine intelligence leading towards permanent ego annihilation and unity with God. You can check out my past threads if you want to know more about it, but throughout this process, psychedelics have affected me much differently than they normally would, and all trips are completely led and controlled by divine intelligence to progress me closer to reaching unity with God. 

There are a huge variety of different things I have been put through by divine intelligence to dissolve the ego and bring me closer to annihilation in God, but there is one particular assortment of behaviours and patterns that I have noticed occurring on psychedelics that I wanted to point out and document here, because it's interesting, and it's probably a pretty rare thing to document.

Lots of different things happen on my trips besides just this, but this particular pattern of behaviours has come up quite often over the past few months. What stands out to me about it is how strange and unusual it is. The other things I've gone through throughout this process (things like deep body aches, varieties of emotional pain, physical pain, deep boredom, etc), there's nothing special about those things. But this particular behaviour is just so strange and unusual, and it's interesting that it is used as a method of dissolving the ego. 

 

Ego dissolving behaviour

So what starts to happen on psychedelics is a specific assortment of sounds, words, and mental imagery will come up. Very strange and unusual things. Words and phrases will start coming to mind or playing in my head, such as "hmm.... very peculiar.... a very interesting analysis of data... quite an unusual function....". Those words aren't being said at anything, they are just being said on their own. "Quite exquisite indeed... how juicy and plump... how voluptuous... very much indeed...". Along with this, various sounds will play (very faintly), like sounds of cartoonish bouncing, or deep thuds, and other things. Also various mental imagery, such as images of cartoonish Spongebob boots, cartoonish kissy faces, peaches, envelopes, other random and weird things. The sounds and mental imagery are more subtle and in the background, the words that play in my head are really the main focus.

The entire experience of it just feels very strange and kind of disturbing. The way it feels is that it's like the intelligence of the psychedelic (and God/divine intelligence) is pushing around my ego and having its way with the ego, through this assortment of psychedelic patterns and behaviours. The weirdness of it seems to push around, weaken and dominate my ego. It's like my ego is getting sucked into a blender, not in a painful way, but because the weirdness of it is weakening me, unravelling me, pulling me apart.

It has come up quite a lot. Mostly on mescaline, mushrooms, very much so on 2C-B, and mildly on 5-MeO-MALT.

What's interesting about it is that even though it doesn't feel overly deep or significant when I'm experiencing it, when I come out of the trip and then think about it, something about it feels very deep and profound. I can feel just in the energy of it that some kind of really deep and significant ego-dissolving work is being done here.

 

[Tristan12]

2C-B Trips

 At the start of July 2026, I did a bunch of 2C-B trips. The first day I plugged 8mg in the morning, then at night I plugged 30mg. The next night I plugged 60mg, the night after that I plugged 120mg. Here is a brief trip report of the final 120mg trip.

The 30mg I took spread out over 2 or 3 doses within an hour, but the 60mg and 120mg trips I took in single doses, and they came on very strong. The first hour of both trips were very intense. Within 5 minutes I had to lay down, I had intense visuals and body sensations. It's amazing how high doses of 2C-B can feel a lot like DMT.

On the 120mg dose, I had auditory hallucinations that I'd never experienced before. I heard a voice loud and clear that sounded almost identical to the voice in this video at 2:40.

It said "astra la linaaaa" and as it said that, I had visuals of a line of light coiling into a spiral, it would move faster and faster and my body would shake as it did that. I was absolutely amazed by all of this, I thought it was so cool and I became infatuated with the alien voice and wish it stuck around longer. The visuals stayed intense for a while, like a DMT trip.

By around 30-60 minutes in, the thing I described earlier started happening, the weird psychedelic sounds, words and mental imagery. After that went on for a while, I noticed that my perception of reality started to blur. I couldn't tell whether I was comfortable or not, I couldn't tell if I was hot or cold, I couldn't tell if I was enjoying the trip or not. My thought patterns became confusing and unclear. I couldn't locate myself, I couldn't distinguish what 'I' was or where I was. It was like my whole identity was getting dispersed and lost within the contents of the trip. This went on for a while, around 2-3 hours.

As I started to come down from the trip, around 4 hours in, my consciousness started to skyrocket. All the sudden reality became super clear, I felt hyper-lucid, hyper-awake, and like my entire lived experience before then had been a thick, hazy dream, and existence now felt more real than ever. My consciousness felt very in touch with divinity. It felt incredibly clean and pure, to the point of feeling almost royal and pristine. It was like I was touching pure divinity, really getting close to God consciousness.

 

5-MeO-MALT Trips

About 2 weeks ago I had the intuition to use 5-MeO-MALT. This was the first time that I'd used it since the start of 2025, as both 5-MeO-DMT and 5-MeO-MALT had no effect on me after this process towards annihilation in God began. I tried them a few times here and there, but they never did anything, so I just stayed away from them. It was only DMT that I used quite regularly. But I suddenly got the intuition to use 5-MeO-MALT, and this time it worked.

It didn't feel anything like a regular 5-MeO-MALT trip though (even though I've only done it 2-3 times at low doses). In the trip, my consciousness would raise, I would get quite strong ego dissolution, and then I would get very nauseous and start vomiting. I've dealt with intense nausea over the past few months on mescaline and mushrooms - a lot of fear is stored in the stomach so I've had a lot of experiences of nausea and vomiting that seem to release fear and dissolve the ego further, so I'm sure that's what's happening here on 5-MeO-MALT. But this time, what made it different from mescaline and mushrooms, is my consciousness would raise a lot more, and then the nausea combined with physical exhaustion and heaviness would weaken me and start to make me surrender more into the deeper state of consciousness.

Over the past week I've been going back and forth between DMT and 5-MeO-MALT trips each day (because my intuition tells me to). Every 5-MeO-MALT trip is pretty much the same. I plug 15-20mg, and within 5 minutes the nausea starts. It gets pretty strong and uncomfortable, I usually end up vomiting, and then by 20-25 minutes in its pretty much gone. My consciousness stays deep for 10-20 minutes after that, and then the trip is pretty much over.

[Hojo]

The same cartoon thing happen to me when I was on it. It was like an insane amount of cartoon shit was happening at the same time in my imagination and it took over my entire visual field and came out in front of me. Like ren and stimpy of stuff cartoons hitting eachother in the head with batons and stuff like that. Then the cartoons completely solidified into one field and crystalized into a golden square.

Like I was looking in the mirror and I couldn't see the mirror or myself or the room it was just infinity of cartoons going on.

Edited Monday at 04:54 AM by Hojo

[Tristan12]

@Hojo what substance? 2C-B?

[Tristan12]

I did another 2C-B trip last night, a huge dose. More interesting forms of ego dissolving happened and it was a pretty good trip overall. There is one thing I wanted to write out and take note of though.

I started thinking about how I've written so much about my path and everything that's happening with me heading towards unity with God on this forum, and despite how rare, incredible and special it all is, out of everything I've written in all my threads, I've received very little responses or acknowledgement about everything that's going on. For the most part it seems that people don't care that much and I'm pretty much just as alone in all of this as I was before.

I realized that this unity and ego annihilation is going to happen without me ever experiencing any significant recognition or praise for it while I am alive as a human self. Despite how incredible and rare it is, people don't care that much, and I am just as much of a lonely nobody as I was before. I'm not saying this to demean myself or make myself feel bad - my point is that I started thinking about all of this when I was tripping and I realized how absolutely delicious and perfect it all is. How unbelievably satisfying it is.

When I see myself talking about being an emissary soul and all of this stuff about me reaching unity with the divine, and nobody really says anything or seems to care, and I’m just left alone by myself until I eventually die to Truth (the ego annihilation and unification with God happens) and my life ends with me never having experienced any kind of significant recognition or praise for all of this while I was alive as a human with an ego, there is something so absolutely delicious and orgasmic about that. Something so incredibly good and satisfying, it makes me want to just sink my teeth into it, suck the juices out of it, have it all dripping down my face as I sit there obediently at the foot of God. It’s like watching myself be ignored and get no recognition or praise as a human, until I die to Truth, that just feeds my own orgasm. How delicious and orgasmic it is for the ego to be made to surrender to Truth like that. To die to Truth without ever being allowed to use it to get its egoic needs satisfied . For Truth, Love, God to so elegantly and rightfully prevail. That is the fucking orgasm.

Along with this, looking at my life as a whole has the same effect. Looking at how I was born into this world and my life immediately went straight towards kicking the absolute shit out of me, until I die and reach unity with God at 25 years old. How deeply, intensely and quickly God came through me, how no time was wasted on anything else. No post-secondary school, no career, no relationships, just straight to this - the only thing that really matters - before anything else. It's like my entire 25 year life was a process of being born and then immediately submitting to God, without even a minute spent doing anything else. Again, how absolutely delicious, beautiful and satisfying that is.

It became so unbelievably satisfying to think about all of this while I was on that trip. To immerse myself in Truth, Love, God, righteousness, justice, fairness, wisdom, understanding, beauty, and for my ego to be forced to submit and surrender to these things. It was absolutely incredible. It was like the more I felt into these things and rejoiced in them, the more my sense of self would dissolve, and the closer I would get to the orgasm of my own death and unity with God.

I realize it kind of defeats the purpose for me to announce all of this on this forum, but I feel like this is more of a message to myself, and it feels fitting to place this message here alongside everything everything else I've said in my other threads in the past. It feels like a sort of completion and acknowledgement that things happened exactly the way they should have with nobody really giving a shit.

[Human Mint]

This is a cool report. I resonate with it. Ego death is like mental surgery without anesthesia.

I did not understand much your "fana al fana" thing back then.