seeing through people's bullshit

[YIDIRYIDIR]

it's a double edged sword: 

unfair advantage: seeing through people's bullshit, unconsciousness and stupidity helps with peace and detachment from external validation and judgement. You feel free.

Trade-off: You find a hard time relating with many people, with fitting in, with finding a partner, with having a regular life.... 

That's why you are a culture shaper, a leader, a one of a kind authentic brand. trying to be regular would be miserable. 

[Osaid]

9 hours ago, YIDIRYIDIR said:

Trade-off: You find a hard time relating with many people, with fitting in, with finding a partner, with having a regular life....

Are you saying that bullshit makes it easier to connect with people and relate to people? 🤔

[YIDIRYIDIR]

1 hour ago, Osaid said:

Are you saying that bullshit makes it easier to connect with people and relate to people? 🤔

lol not necessarily 

[Pedro M]

I get what you saying. 

But it’s really painful to fall for that shit and only realize it later. It’s a lonely path, but it’s better this way.

[YIDIRYIDIR]

1 hour ago, Pedro M said:

I get what you saying. 

But it’s really painful to fall for that shit and only realize it later. It’s a lonely path, but it’s better this way.

It is a lonely part only in the beginning. once you learn to be happy just by yourself, independent of everyone. and once you build a purposeful life, it becomes a huge advantage. you find yourself easily connecting with anyone without any expectations, because you're no longer needy. you become free as fuck and able to be authentic as you are without any external pressure..... 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Consider that we may not be really LOOKING to see where, how and why we DO connect, relate and crossover with others. You actively look for differences and focus on them, give them more gravity and weight. Isolation, feeling different, loneliness, inability to relate. Have our perspective understood, find others with interests that crossover with ours - all very mundane, basic insecurities.

When you really dig into the depths of others - the human experience, stripped down, is remarkably similar. Only with little garnishes of difference - but the core troubles are usually the same.

This is a cognitive bias. 

Also consider ones lack of self esteem won't let them believe they are boring and regular. This is so unbelievably common.

If we cannot accept being ordinary, we are still controlled by the idea of being special.

Edited 5 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[YIDIRYIDIR]

2 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Consider that we may not be really LOOKING to see where, how and why we DO connect, relate and crossover with others. You actively look for differences and focus on them, give them more gravity and weight. Isolation, feeling different, loneliness, inability to relate. Have our perspective understood, find others with interests that crossover with ours - all very mundane, basic insecurities.

When you really dig into the depths of others - the human experience, stripped down, is remarkably similar. Only with little garnishes of difference - but the core troubles are usually the same.

This is a cognitive bias. 

Also consider ones lack of self esteem won't let them believe they are boring and regular. This is so unbelievably common.

This is only one case, what you are saying is right, but it's only one example, one scenario. not general. 

2 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

If we cannot accept being ordinary, we are still controlled by the idea of being special.

Specialness is a value judgment. Irregularity is just a statistical fact. not being regular doesn't necessarily mean being special and unique. Put a harvard scientist in a remote village in neglected parts of africa and expect him to relate to them and connect. he'll just struggle, because he's irregular there, but not necessarily special. 

Edited 2 hours ago by YIDIRYIDIR

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@YIDIRYIDIR none of what you raise connects with the meaning of my post. Neither here nor there. As you will - avoidance is your right.

Edited 2 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[YIDIRYIDIR]

1 hour ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

@YIDIRYIDIR none of what you raise connects with the meaning of my post. Neither here nor there. As you will - avoidance is your right.

You said those feelings and experiences are actually universal. and that paying attention to differences is just cognitive bias and selective attention. 

I said that's only one case. let me explain: there's a difference between structural mismatch and universal experience when it comes to feelings of isolation. let's talk in simple models just for the sake of getting the point across. the feelings of isolation between people on the same stage of spiral dynamics isn't the same as between two different stages. 

in the same stage, you can make effort, be creative, and find a way eventually, because there isn't a mismatch between you and your environment, the structure is the same, but the content may differ.But imagine being stage yellow and live in a purple, blue and at best early orange environment. there isn't a single thing you can do, there's just structural mismatch. it's asymmetric, not perception bias.

It's actually explicit in spiral dynamics that higher stages can model lower stages (they were there once) while lower stages can't model higher stages, because the cognitive complexity isn't there yet. 

Simply, difference in content isn't the same as difference in structure.