Maestro

[Vladimir]

My journey with plant medicines began with magic mushrooms in 2016. I was 33 years old at the time and had approximately $500,000 USD saved in precious metals: gold, silver, and platinum. A large portion of it was stored in a safe in my studio apartment, while another significant portion was kept in a private vault in Singapore.

For some time, I had been watching the videos of Leo Gura from Actualized.org. He had published a video on his YouTube channel titled "The Amazing Power of Psychedelics: Leo Does Psilocybin Magic Mushrooms," in which he described his experience with magic mushrooms and explained how they could be used for spiritual enlightenment and self-development. The video left a strong impression on me and truly piqued my curiosity. As a result, I decided to order a batch from the Dark Net.

I found a dealer on the Dark Net, an underground online marketplace, and placed my first order for 60 grams of dried, powdered psilocybin mushrooms. I remember creating a dedicated email account to communicate with the dealer, which I named "Siberian Winter."

About a month later, I received the mushrooms in the mail. The package included a printed note stating that the contents were some kind of "Siberian herb," intended to disguise the powder in case the package was opened and inspected by customs. I was thrilled to receive the mushrooms and excited to begin experimenting with them.

I weighed the powder using my precision jewelry scale, but I didn't do it correctly the first time. The total weight came to only about 20–30 grams, so I emailed the dealer asking why I had received much less than I had ordered.

The dealer replied, recommending that I weigh the mushrooms again because I had most likely made a mistake. He told me that he remembered the weight of my order very clearly because, when he measured approximately 60 grams on his own scale, the reading came to exactly 66.6 grams, 666, the "number of the beast."

Since I was only beginning my spiritual journey at the time, I didn't place much significance on that unusual coincidence. I weighed the mushrooms again, and this time the total came to approximately 60 grams, confirming that the order had been correct after all.

During that time, I was living in a studio apartment in La Mesa, San Diego, California, with two of my cats, Wallace and Nari.

I began my first ceremony with just 1 gram of magic mushrooms, carefully weighing the amount using my precision jewelry scale. My first experience felt like entering a deep meditative state, similar to what I had experienced during my silent Vipassana meditation retreats. I felt calm, and my mind was peaceful. I remember that my brother Roman stopped by my apartment sometime during the middle or toward the end of my first trip to talk with me briefly. I told him that I was experimenting with magic mushrooms, and he commented that I "seemed chill."

I then had another trip, doubling the dose to 2 grams, during which I began seeing subtle visions. I believe it was during this second ceremony that I experienced my first "out of the mind" breakthrough. I remember a vision that seemed to be stuck in the left corner of my mind, as if it were trying to break free. When I finally allowed it to emerge, I felt as though my consciousness had become liberated. For the first time, I became aware that there was a place beyond my thinking mind that was pure awareness, or pure consciousness.

These first two experiences were incredibly magical and exciting, so I continued by increasing the next dose to 3 grams of powdered magic mushrooms. That was when the real, life-changing breakthrough happened.

I remember lying on my bed with both hands resting on my heart. I saw a brilliant white light and began feeling what I can only describe as Divine Love. It felt as though I was taking my very first breath. Tears of joy flowed effortlessly from my eyes. I felt truly alive for the first time in my life, as far as I could remember.

Before that ceremony, I considered myself an atheist, meaning I did not believe in God. While I was experiencing this Divine Love, these words spontaneously came out of my mouth: "Thank you, God, for this Divine Gift." From that moment on, I was no longer an atheist.

I felt that this Divine Love came directly from God, and it was the most real experience I had ever had. I knew that this was not merely "a drug-induced hallucination." I realized that I had discovered something profoundly important and extraordinary.

During the experience, I could hear the gentle sound of raindrops falling on the roof of my apartment. The atmosphere felt deeply peaceful and serene. I also began seeing connections between the events of my entire life and understood how everything was interconnected. I had the profound realization that everything that had ever happened to me had led me to this extraordinary magic mushroom ceremony of Divine Love.

I also saw that every human being in the world is searching for this same Love, doing the best they can with the understanding they have. I felt deep compassion for humanity, and I made a silent promise to myself that I would embody this Love and dedicate my life to helping the whole world come to know it.

After this ceremony, I devoted all of my time, energy, and resources to fulfilling the promise I had made to myself to embody this Divine Love. Thus began my shamanic hero's journey of wisdom, healing, and awakening with the sacred plant medicines, which became my greatest teachers and allies.

Edited 4 hours ago by Vladimir

[Vladimir]

Sometime during the summer of 2017, I woke up in the middle of the night because I couldn't breathe in my sleep. I had been suffering from what I believed was sleep apnea for many years, most likely due to my poor diet and years of weekend partying with alcohol, during which I often blacked out. Although I had quit drinking after my 3-gram magic mushroom ceremony, about a year and a half ago, where I experienced Divine Love, the damage to my body still remained.

By that time, I had already heard of Ayahuasca and had watched several documentaries about it. I also remembered a woman at a psychedelic meetup saying that Ayahuasca was far more powerful than magic mushrooms. Having already experienced heroic doses of mushrooms, I was surprised to hear that there could be something even more powerful.

I was deeply frustrated with my sleep apnea. I knew I wasn't getting proper rest because I still felt exhausted even after sleeping for twelve hours. I had also heard that Ayahuasca had the potential to heal people.

So, when I woke up gasping for air that night, I went straight to my computer and typed "Ayahuasca ceremonies in San Diego" into Google.

The very first result was Origen Sagrada, a group of Colombian shamans who were coming to San Diego to facilitate a three-night Ayahuasca retreat in collaboration with Danielle de Kiserre. The retreat was being held in a Girl Scout camp nestled in the forests of Julian, California.

Without hesitation, I signed up.

The retreat was scheduled for August 25 through August 28, 2017, and included three nights of Ayahuasca ceremonies.

I often think of that night as the night when Madrecita Ayahuasca called me.

The ceremonies took place inside a large Girl Scout lodge surrounded by the beautiful forests of Julian. There were about fifty participants in total.

Nothing happened for me on the first night. The entire building remained almost completely silent, with hardly anyone making a sound. By the end of the ceremony, I actually began wondering whether Ayahuasca was a sham and whether magic mushrooms were the real medicine after all.

Before the second ceremony, I remember one of the shamans telling us that the medicine would become much stronger that night and that it would truly begin to open us. He was right. The second night was when everything changed.

The ceremony was incredibly visual. I felt that my previous spiritual practices, including Vipassana meditation, self-inquiry, contemplation, and my experiences with magic mushrooms, had prepared me to navigate the experience with greater awareness and skill.

At one point, I found myself immersed in breathtaking, colorful visions. Then a large Black man appeared, swirling within those visions. He radiated Divine Love and beauty, wearing sparkling golden sunglasses. Bursting into ecstatic laughter, he looked at me and exclaimed,

"You've made it, Vladimir!"

For a brief moment, I felt as though I had caught a glimpse of a higher dimension, a Paradise of Divine Love.

Soon afterward, I felt as though I had become enlightened. I opened my eyes and looked up, and the roof of the building seemed to disappear, revealing a magnificent sky filled with countless stars.

Although I was already deep in the experience, the facilitators announced that anyone who wished could receive a second cup of medicine. I eagerly got up and joined the line.

Filled with excitement over the profound insights that were pouring into my awareness, I began talking with another participant standing near me. I shared my experience of the roof disappearing.

A moment later, a blonde woman standing directly in front of us turned around and said something like,

"I saw the roof disappear too."

She spoke with a distinct Russian accent, so I asked her if she spoke Russian.

She smiled and said yes.

I introduced myself:

"Меня зовут Владимир." ("My name is Vladimir.")

She replied:

"Меня зовут Виктория." ("My name is Victoria.")

That was how I met Victoria during an Ayahuasca ceremony, while we were standing in line for a second cup of Ayahuasca.

Not long afterward, Victoria and I began dating, and with that, our shamanic journey of love began.

photos: September 12, 2017