If Im God then whats the point?

[ambush]

So I have noticed a recurring thought over the past maybe 2 years or so. I’ve been listening to Leo's work for 6-7 years now, and while I have certainly had a good amount of experiences with psychedelics, I have also learned quite a lot from just actualized.org alone. I’ve always been contemplative but LSD is what started this journey for me because it's what made me realize God is real, being a former super atheist who used to make fun of thiests. Anyways, I believe that my first LSD trip could have been a first hand experience with God consciousness. I remember feeling something indescribable while peaking. I remember thinking that I wanted to feel like that forever. My friend was there too and we were both outside in his backyard. All I could say was “Greg?” I’ve still never quite had a feeling like that, but I can’t say for sure it was a peak of God consciousness. 

I’m getting to the point now, basically, and this is in no way a diss to Leo’s work or actualized.org. But the knowledge that I am actually God has in a way discouraged me from seeking out guidance. It’s like, when I'm having dark moments, I want to be able to conjure or seek out some sort of source that can help me, but I don’t because… I am God, and everything else is just me. So, why would I do that? I had this sort of insight where it feels like I got the ending of a movie spoiled for me, and now I’ve lost all desire to watch it. If that makes sense. The sucky part is that I am God but at the same time I have no idea what I am doing, and it feels like the power of God isn’t being used right. In the “Explaining paranormal phenomena” video, Leos talks about channeling aliens and other things and how these things are actually possible and people do them. I think that’s cool and would like to try, but then the wind is sort of taken out of my sails because I remember I am God and what could an alien possibly tell me that is more of a mindfuck than that? It’s funny though, because I realize that I am literally asking you all for help/thoughts/input right now. So maybe I am missing something here. Any thoughts are appreciated. If this post is too long please let me know.

Edited 16 hours ago by ambush
used than instead of then in title.

[Hojo]

@ambush I think you are halfway not knowing what you are doing. Like not knowing but getting frustrated because you dont know. Take the frustration away and you will truely no know and will just do whatever you want.

Kinda like you still think you know what God wants you to do, probably pre programmed bs. if you really didnt know what you are doing it will be funny.

Edited 15 hours ago by Hojo

[Inliytened1]

3 hours ago, ambush said:

So I have noticed a recurring thought over the past maybe 2 years or so. I’ve been listening to Leo's work for 6-7 years now, and while I have certainly had a good amount of experiences with psychedelics, I have also learned quite a lot from just actualized.org alone. I’ve always been contemplative but LSD is what started this journey for me because it's what made me realize God is real, being a former super atheist who used to make fun of thiests. Anyways, I believe that my first LSD trip could have been a first hand experience with God consciousness. I remember feeling something indescribable while peaking. I remember thinking that I wanted to feel like that forever. My friend was there too and we were both outside in his backyard. All I could say was “Greg?” I’ve still never quite had a feeling like that, but I can’t say for sure it was a peak of God consciousness. 

I’m getting to the point now, basically, and this is in no way a diss to Leo’s work or actualized.org. But the knowledge that I am actually God has in a way discouraged me from seeking out guidance. It’s like, when I'm having dark moments, I want to be able to conjure or seek out some sort of source that can help me, but I don’t because… I am God, and everything else is just me. So, why would I do that? I had this sort of insight where it feels like I got the ending of a movie spoiled for me, and now I’ve lost all desire to watch it. If that makes sense. The sucky part is that I am God but at the same time I have no idea what I am doing, and it feels like the power of God isn’t being used right. In the “Explaining paranormal phenomena” video, Leos talks about channeling aliens and other things and how these things are actually possible and people do them. I think that’s cool and would like to try, but then the wind is sort of taken out of my sails because I remember I am God and what could an alien possibly tell me that is more of a mindfuck than that? It’s funny though, because I realize that I am literally asking you all for help/thoughts/input right now. So maybe I am missing something here. Any thoughts are appreciated. If this post is too long please let me know.

Try to get yourself out of this thought loop.  You kind of trapped yourself with the realizations but more importantly if you have only had a glimpse of God Consciousness how can you be certain you are God? Have you had an awakening yet that you are God? Because if you had then I think you would have integrated it properly and wouldn't be in this thought loop.  This is kinda what happens when you take things on as a belief.  So try to get yourself out of this because I think it is going to make you more nihilistic as that is what it appears to be doing when it should be a positive.  I'm sure part of it is but the negative part would make me want to change my thinking. 

Edited 12 hours ago by Inliytened1

[Ziran]

9 hours ago, ambush said:

Any thoughts are appreciated.

The totality of experience includes "Let-Down".

9 hours ago, ambush said:

I remember feeling something indescribable while peaking.

If the intention was "peaking", seeking a "peak experience", then there will naturally be a let-down when that peak experience ends without an opportunity to ascend higher to a new peak.

[ambush]

@Hojo this is very interesting, you make a good point. I do find myself wishing I had some sort of Life-contract or whatever you hear about in NDE reports and what not. But that probably is conditioning and just another layer of illusion right? I’ll work on getting past the frustration. 

Edited 3 hours ago by ambush

[ambush]

@Inliytened1 No, I can’t say for sure I have realized first hand I am God, but I do trust Leos work and the fact that he’s not alone in his conclusions also gives a lot of credibility to me. And you’re absolutely right it has given me some nihilistic perspectives. I think I overlooked the outcome of taking things as belief rather than experiencing it firsthand. Because if I did experience it firsthand, I likely wouldn’t have these frustrations. Leo always puts the disclaimer that you shouldn’t believe him and you should find out for yourself haha and I get why he says that but now it seems more appropriate than before. 

Edited 3 hours ago by ambush

[Hojo]

@ambush Yea its social conditioning. just sit around. Notice you will have these social conditionings coming up all the time cause society makes you feel like useless loser for sitting around. This is programming.

You keep having ideas about having to do something.

If you wanna do something do it, if you dont, then dont do it.

 

Fulfill social contracts so you wont feel bad about fking people over. But if people push new social contracts on you then dont buy in that you have to do it.

 

Edited 3 hours ago by Hojo

[Yimpa]

Only you can decide what the point is. Not me, not leo, not ramana, not trump, nobody. That’s the point of this work, becoming autonomous and deriving what is true from your own direct experience.