Mothering Mindset Epidemic

[integral]

"I'd like the place tidy" is a preference; "he must be tidy, and he's defective if he isn't" is a demand. This is called it musturbation.

Many relationships turn into a scenario where someone mistakes a personal preference for a lack of maturity in their partner.

Men don't feel a nervous system response to their clothes being on the floor, but your partner might feel a negative response to it because her preference/lifestyle differs from yours. Then one will project that onto the other as is irresponsible and immature.

It's the pattern of the Dunning Kruger effect because the immature person thinks they are the most mature one. They overestimate their competency. One partner cannot take on the perspective of the other to understand that both people are individuals with different lifestyles, preferences, values, and operating systems, for which they live their life and enjoy through.

The feeling a woman has of mothering Their boyfriend is an epidemic that happens even in the honeymoon phase of new relationship. Mothering happens even when you’re not living with them, there’s no shared responsibility and you guys are in a relationship for less than six months

Why is this happening? Because she disagrees with your way of life and she thinks she’s correcting your way of life because her way is more mature. Is her way more mature? Of course not you’re just different people.
 

Edited 19 hours ago by integral

[Hojo]

@integral They try to tame you. Once you give up your authority, you are locking into a personality you arent. You often see men who are in long term relationships come out completely broken because they were tamed and manipulated so much when the relationship ends they arent the person they were and the person they are isnt them.

They get confused and cant go back to who they were because they already admitted it was not good to be. They will clean the house the same the woman wanted when they dont actually want too.

Its like brain washing.

The man will suffer the same 1000s of your bad his mother did to him.

Of course it happens with man too but woman will do it very subtly. The man after the relationship will be stuck until he returns to the person he was before the relationship,

Many end it because they dont know what happened.

 

This dosent just happen with actions it happens with speech and thought patterns.

The person who wants to be in a relationship secretly wants to be tamed. They dont want to be wild because mommy said it was bad.

The wild man will have no relationships. Cause every relationship will do this in a way even your friends. Even with fictional relationships like your relationship with your workplace or your relationship with a company.

Edited 20 hours ago by Hojo

[Natasha Tori Maru]

I hope you mean in general. Lots of your statements here are phrased to speak for all men. 

[integral]

5 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I hope you mean in general. Lots of your statements here are phrased to speak for all men. 

Yes Mother 😇 (i joke)

For sure the genders are more similar than different.

I wanted to point out the mothering pattern that one of my cousins just experienced in two relationships in a row where they said the words "I feel like I'm your mother", and for reasons that were ridiculous, that he didn't care to wear a hat outside 🎩 in both relationships she kept critiquing all of his lifestyle preferences until she did it so often that it became a mindset that she was mothering him, and she became very unhappy in the relationship.

Personally I experienced this multiple times in many different relationships. For things that are just my basic preferences or things that I enjoy like I want to go skateboarding, and they're telling me skateboarding is childish.

Theres a control issue going on, where people trying to control everything to be a certain way can't tolerate people who are relaxed

Edited 50 minutes ago by integral

[integral]

19 hours ago, Hojo said:

They try to tame you. Once you give up your authority, you are locking into a personality you arent. You often see men who are in long term relationships come out completely broken because they were tamed and manipulated so much when the relationship ends they arent the person they were and the person they are isnt them.

For sure I had that with my first BPD girlfriend. Took me awhile to come back to reality.

The self development part of me started reading books on relationships to try to figure out what happened. And I got a much larger perspective after that that was used in the next relationship.

I don't know how people do it who never have these kinds of relationship experiences, there's no incentive to grow.