happiness

[Judy2]

2 minutes ago, Ziran said:

May I change the subject?

yes of course:)

[Judy2]

3 minutes ago, Ziran said:

The trauma I'm referring to can't be cured.  Yes, it's remembered.  It's like an engraving.  Even if it's repaired, it's still there in the background.  Nothing changes it.

May I change the subject?

maybe it's not anxiety?  maybe it's adjacent?   Avoidant?  

It seems to be a sort of "open-secret".  You're not happy?  At home?

i'm working on it.  

2 hours ago, Ziran said:

 just staying busy, busy...  if the over-use of a coping mechanism is contributing, it's not a disorder.  It's perfectly natural.  I quoted that part because, if I recall, you've mentioned the chores and mindless tasks in prior posts.

i'd forgotten about it but it's true. always being busy/productive is tempting because i'm not enough yet, so at least i want to feel like i could become  enough.  maybe i should slow down a little and allow myself to be more.

[Judy2]

1 minute ago, Judy2 said:

i'd forgotten about it but it's true. always being busy/productive is tempting because i'm not enough yet, so at least i want to feel like i could become  enough.  maybe i should slow down a little and allow myself to be more.

that's confusing though, because we never really stop becoming. being is becoming. but it's still very easy to forget to be in the middle of it. 

[Ziran]

7 hours ago, Judy2 said:

i'm working on it. 

are you open about it in real life?  friends, family?  do they know? 

 

 

[Judy2]

3 hours ago, Ziran said:

are you open about it in real life?  friends, family?  do they know? 

a friend also tells me i have complex trauma. my parents wouldn't call it trauma but they know about mental health struggles. other friends also know.

doesn't everybody have trauma,though? 

maybe i misunderstood your question.

Edited 13 hours ago by Judy2

[Ziran]

10 hours ago, Judy2 said:

a friend also tells me i have complex trauma. my parents wouldn't call it trauma but they know about mental health struggles. other friends also know.

heard

10 hours ago, Judy2 said:

doesn't everybody have trauma,though? 

engravings on the individual soul?  No.  Some do, some don't.

10 hours ago, Judy2 said:

maybe i misunderstood your question.

I'm curious, to what extent do your friends and family know that you're unhappy right now?  At this present juncture of your life?  Do you feel the need to fake it?  If so, that's a lot of work.

[Someone here]

On ٥‏/٧‏/٢٠٢٦ at 10:25 PM, Judy2 said:

i think unfortunately the human mind quickly forgets about these things, and then it's back to groundhog day.  

It really depends on how tragedy affects you. The more traumatic it gets the longer its effects last on you and the more deep it changes your entire worldview on life . If you survived a very dangerous near death experience your life will change forever and there is no going back to taking things like your life and health for granted .

Edited 2 hours ago by Someone here

[Judy2]

1 hour ago, Ziran said:

I'm curious, to what extent do your friends and family know that you're unhappy right now?  At this present juncture of your life?  Do you feel the need to fake it?  If so, that's a lot of work.

i think i've even noticed an increase in happiness over the last couple of weeks - which is why it got me thinking more about those moments that still feel 'off'. 

parents: i hide vulnerable feelings from them most of the time because showing them can lead to dynamics that only produce more uncomfortable feelings. 

friends: mixed. sometimes, i feel comfortable expressing both honest joy/excitement and honest fear/frustration/you name it. other times, not so much. maybe it depends on how superficial those emotions are and how safe i feel in that moment. 

 

55 minutes ago, Someone here said:

It really depends on how tragedy affects you. The more traumatic it gets the longer its effects last on you and the more deep it changes your entire worldview on life . If you survived a very dangerous near death experience your life will change forever and there is no going back to taking things like your life and health for granted .

i think it worked a little differently for me, but i see what you mean:) 

[Judy2]

1 hour ago, Ziran said:

engravings on the individual soul?  No.  Some do, some don't.

i'm curious about this concept....maybe a little wary of it, though. is your awareness of trauma meant to justify and/or explain present dysfunctions/suffering? how does the awareness of trauma help reduce suffering, in your opinion? or is that not even the goal? 

just trying to understand:) i have a book on trauma and its impact on attachment styles sitting on my nightstand and plan to read it as soon as i am done with my exams this summer. 

Edited 1 hour ago by Judy2