I'm awakenning but I don't want to wake up.

[TheGod]

After my last trips on 5MeO-DMT in October I firmly decided to quit spirituality due to increase in degrees of my anxiety and fear to disappear. 

I don't watch Leo's videos anymore and I avoid spirituality at all costs. I'm trying to get back into illusion but paradoxically as I'm trying to do it I'm fully consciouss of my desire to fall back into the illusion 😂 

Few days ago, I wanted to see what happens if I meditate (I hadn't been doing it for years). I wanted to do 15 minutes but I can't go for more than 10 minutes because I literally enter the void state. My mind subsides and I'm capable of not thinking and when I become consiouss that I am not thinking, I freak out because I fell like I am wakening up. 

Also, there is something happening to my body. I notice that my body feels less and less heavy and I have no clue what's going on. It's just when I walk, I feel very light which wasn't the case before. 

I don't watch Leo's videos or anything on spirituality, I don't read any spiritual books and I don't meditate. 

Why the fuck am I still becoming more conscious?

 

Edited Tuesday at 04:47 AM by TheGod

[Yimpa]

 

[Yimpa]

19 minutes ago, TheGod said:

Why the fuck am I still becoming more conscious?

Ikr?? I really had assumed I was in control of any of  this. Maybe the spiritual genes are just insane. We can’t turn away from Goodness with a capital G.

Edited Tuesday at 05:05 AM by Yimpa