Spilling the beans

[tsuki]

I will now tell you everything I know, definitely, through self-observation and participation in the unfolding of the mind. If it seems difficult, it only seems so because it is usually unnamed, too obvious to notice so it is not discussed. Try to see it in yourself as you read this.

The most basic unit of the mind is a story. It has a past, present and a future. The present moment is always infinitely small in it, unnoticeable, fleeting and valueless. The most important feature of the story is that it wants to be played out, it needs to reach its conclusion. All stories have a charge, innate motion which is a compulsion from its origin to its conclusion. They grab us and take us places, we participate.

The experience of participating in a story is called emotion. We can always make the story explicit with language by experiencing the emotion. When the story is expressed, we can inspect it more clearly. In inspecting the story, we make it into an object of the mind that we can manipulate. In doing so, the underlying emotions change. We can completely decouple stories from emotions, which is to say that we stop participating in them, by not believing them. The more we believe a story, the less it is an object of the mind, the less we can manipulate it, the more real it appears and more emotions arise. We build stories ever since we were born as a person and a lot of stories have not been expressed and are still believed/participated in. There are no emotions apart from participation in a story.

Identity is the character of the story. You only have an identity because you do not realize your true nature. This "hole", or "gap" needs to be filled. It will never be filled with the mind because what you are is more basic than the mind. Thinking "I" is like having a pen and a piece of paper and trying to draw paper. 

[No1Here2c]

8 minutes ago, tsuki said:

Thinking "I" is like having a pen and a piece of paper and trying to draw paper. 

To me it is more like having a pen drawn on a piece of paper, then attempting to utilize that drawing of a pen to sketch with. Never going to work.

[tsuki]

The greatest secret of the mind lies in the fact that you are doing it. All of the stories are made up in some way or another. All of the stories you participate in (emote) have been believed by non other than you yourself. And the biggest secret of it all is that the person you think you are is a character in a story. It has exactly as much appearance of reality as you grant it by believing the stories. Belief is a form action, like grasping an object with your hand. Grasping and letting go can be trained. When you believe a story you make it true, you behave as if it is the truth, you act in accordance with this story. The compulsion (the must) of this grasping is emotion. Experience the emotion and in doing so, you experience the grasping, the compulsion. The emotion "makes you" behave in accordance with what you believe. In truth, you want to feel what you feel so that the story progresses towards its conclusion. You want to experience all emotion you have, so that all stories you believe in keep playing out the way they are "supposed to". Even the "negative" emotions such as fear, anger, sadness and depression, all of them is what you want to do, so that the story keeps being true, because you believe it. "Positive" emotions are rare because they do not serve the purpose of progressing the story. Some of them, such as hope or wonder can appear so that stories can keep on going.

The biggest reason you need others is to give "objective", "external" validation to what you believe. You can only exist in groups that have similar values, pursue similar goals, take part in similar stories. You say that someone "gets you" when they feel the same things you feel when you tell them the story of your life. This is the same as saying that they believe the same thing you believe in, that your stories converge. If someone contradicts your experience, when they offer a perspective that makes you feel different from what your initial reaction was, you feel hostile because you value your stories. When someone says something that contradicts your story ("you're stupid") you feel hurt. You may respond in the like so that they are also hurt, by messing with their story, by presenting evidence that their story is incorrect/invalid. Sometimes, when there is a painful event, someone makes a comment that makes the event seem unreal, silly, you laugh. You call it humor and pay people to relieve you of your burdens this way.

[tsuki]

There is another step to this.

Things do not exist the way they appear to.

Everything you can point to is activity pretending to be a thing. A self is activity. A thought is activity. Fear is activity. Personality is activity. A relationship is activity. A nation is activity. Even the body is activity.

They look stable only because the process is continuous.

A flame looks like an object but it is burning. A whirlpool looks like a thing but it is flowing. The self looks permanent but it is being continuously recreated every moment through mental activity.

This is why the mind is exhausting.

The mind is doing.

Constantly:
- maintaining,
- comparing,
- remembering,
- anticipating,
- defending,
- justifying,
- correcting,
- becoming.

The self is not something that exists.
The self is something that is being done.

And this is why it feels unstable under observation. Because when the activity weakens, the thing weakens with it.

People usually think they are afraid of losing something they have. In reality, they are afraid that the activity maintaining the character will fail. They are afraid of dissolution.

This is why silence feels so strange.

Without constant mental movement, the character starts disappearing. The mind immediately starts doing again:
- thinking,
- fantasizing,
- worrying,
- remembering,
- planning.

Anything to keep the structure going.

And this is where the deepest confusion happens.

People think that "being" means existing as a thing. But all things are unstable. All things are temporary. All things require maintenance. In that sense, all things are existentially false. They appear self-existing but they are not. They are processes.

Meanwhile nothingness, emptiness, the not-a-thing all things appear within, does not need maintenance.

It does not continue itself.
It does not defend itself.
It does not become.
It does not resist dissolution.

Because dissolution itself happens within it.

This is why "nothing" cannot disappear. It is not a thing among things. It is the openness all things happen within.

Mind is movement away from this.
Mind is doing.
Mind is becoming.

Awareness itself is already still before the mind starts moving.

This is why no achievement finally satisfies the self. The self is made out of continuation. It survives by moving toward the next thing. The moment one story finishes, another one starts immediately.

The self is a machine that turns being into becoming.

Most people are never at rest because they are continuously recreating themselves through mental activity. They think this activity is what they are.

But you can observe it directly.

Sit still and watch.

The mind starts doing.

[tsuki]

Sup guys, you argue about everything and you hang me here to dry?

[Cred]

The more radical an idea is the more time it takes people to process it because for them it's a lot of new information to take in. For you the value of the idea is obvious but that's only because you got to sit with it for a long time.

The way I cope with this is by being more obnoxious with it (lol) and also patient. Another trick is to organize the ideas hierarchically to reduce complexity. Numbering is also good (think 7 noble truths etc.). Be creative.

There is also a trap which is that a metaphysical theory is essentially just an arrangement of different concepts. There are infinite different interesting arrangements of concepts. The question is, how does it affect your life? Does it change how you act in the word? Does it make you happier? Is it pragmatic?

For example I don't give a fuck if everything is consciousness or a dream or me or matter or someone else like this is not relevant to my life at all I would argue.

[No1Here2c]

5 minutes ago, Cred said:

For example I don't give a fuck if everything is consciousness or a dream or me or matter or someone else like this is not relevant to my life at all I would argue.

It doesnt seem relevant until its time to wake up. And then youll wish you took the time to understand dream mechanics

[Cred]

what are dream mechanics?

[No1Here2c]

3 minutes ago, Cred said:

what are dream mechanics?

Excellent question. You seem well on your way.

[Breakingthewall]

On 13/5/2026 at 10:00 AM, tsuki said:

People think that "being" means existing as a thing. But all things are unstable. All things are temporary. All things require maintenance. In that sense, all things are existentially false. They appear self-existing but they are not. They are processes.

Meanwhile nothingness, emptiness, the not-a-thing all things appear within, does not need maintenance.

It does not continue itself.
It does not defend itself.
It does not become.
It does not resist dissolution.

Why a process is false? It's real, as a process. Anything that exists is a process, reality manifest as change, without change there is nothing. 

Nothingness or emptiness is not the container of the reality, it's just an idea that doesn't exist. What reality is is unlimited being, that is manifested as permanent change, very simple. 

Edited 4 hours ago by Breakingthewall

[tsuki]

26 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Why a process is false? It's real, as a process. Anything that exists is a process, reality manifest as change, without change there is nothing. 

If something is made, manipulated, undergoes a process, change, then it is not being, it is becoming something. If something has no existence of its own, then it is existentially false. It's existence is conditioned, it is predicated upon something else. It is relative. Everything that exists is like this.

30 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Nothingness or emptiness is not the container of the reality, it's just an idea that doesn't exist. What reality is is unlimited being, that is manifested as permanent change, very simple. 

Nothingness is the nature of existence. It cannot exist. It is not a container of reality, as the container of reality would have to exist to contain it. Still, reality is not contained, as where would the containment go? Containment of reality has to be un-real. Not sure if I communicate this clearly.

While it is true that we can represent nothingness conceptually, nothingness is not a concept. It is not (at all).

There is a realization to be had, where nothing is called not-a-thing, a category different from things that can be experienced. Most traditions call it the absolute for this reason.

[Breakingthewall]

12 minutes ago, tsuki said:

If something has no existence of its own, then it is existentially false

Well that's just your opinion about what is false or true. Anything that exists is a process, nothing is stable. If for you process are false, then what is true? Nothingness? Nothingness is precisely nothing, it's impossible, because there are not limits, then reality is precisely everything 

12 minutes ago, tsuki said:

Nothingness is the nature of existence

Nothingness means just absence of anything, and it doesn't exist, because there is something: unlimited relative change. 

What reality is is being, that has not opposite, and it's manifestation is relative change. In fact being is relative change. 

Edited 4 hours ago by Breakingthewall

[tsuki]

6 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Nothingness means just absence of anything, and it doesn't exist, because there is something: unlimited relative change. 

Probably, when you are thinking "absence of anything", you are thinking of empty space, or a blank screen. This idea is wrong. You are right in saying that there is "unlimited relative change" but what you are missing is that it is, precisely, nothing.

[tsuki]

When taken in isolation, anything you experience is existentially false, as is it essentially something else recombined. Still, taken in totality, it is the "unlimited relative change", it is exactly nothing and is existentially true.

I am very grateful for this conversation btw, you are wonderful my friend.

[Stick]

Holy fuck bro you blew me away.
I was getting used to this leo guy repeat the same shit for years and by listening to him so much my mind grew insensitive to the insights.
Listening to you however everything makes sense.
Its like finding a new school of martial arts when all I have been doing is Judo.
There are so many ways to speak about god and I really like that you describe it from your own experience
I almost had a habit of just repeating leo and being lazy about awakening
but you seem to have done your homework.
KUDOS to you

[Ziran]

On 5/12/2026 at 10:50 AM, tsuki said:

... Try to see it in yourself as you read this....

Identity is the character of the story. You only have an identity because you do not realize your true nature. This "hole", or "gap" needs to be filled. 

 ... we're all headless-horsemen, now ...

Edited 3 hours ago by Ziran

[No1Here2c]

Just now, Ziran said:

 ... we're all headless-horsemen, now ...

Sleepy Hollow

[Ziran]

Just now, No1Here2c said:

Sleepy Hollow

~Big-Grin~

[Ziran]

19 hours ago, tsuki said:

Sup guys, you argue about everything and you hang me here to dry?

It's brilliant.  I loved reading it.  I look forward to reading it again.

On 5/13/2026 at 4:00 AM, tsuki said:

The self is a machine that turns being into becoming.

^^ My favorite part, on the first read ^^

On 5/13/2026 at 4:00 AM, tsuki said:

Most people are never at rest because they are continuously recreating themselves through mental activity. They think this activity is what they are.

Ah.  You've met my soon to be ex-wife?  ~sarcasm~

[Breakingthewall]

1 hour ago, tsuki said:

Probably, when you are thinking "absence of anything", you are thinking of empty space, or a blank screen. This idea is wrong. You are right in saying that there is "unlimited relative change" but what you are missing is that it is, precisely, nothing.

Empty space or blank screen are something. Nothingness is non being, no space, no process, no relationship, no change. Saying that unlimited relative change is nothing make no sense, because it's relative change. Nothingness is non existence, and precisely doesn't exist