Lifestyle Poll ⭐️

[integral]

Your lifestyle is your path of least resistance.

Lifestyle is a deeply rooted personal process where it's what gives you the most relaxation and harmony with how you want to live. To compromise on it is constant stress for you because you have to use higher order brain function to correct yourself.

I get impression that lifestyle is not changeable, and when we are living with someone if you're not compatible with that person's lifestyle there's really nothing that could be done. Because you have to use more energy to correct your lifestyle, this makes it so you're not enjoying living or there will be perpetual senseless conflict.

Observing other peoples lifestyles from the perspective of your own lifestyle it looks like other people care about things that don't matter at all. And that they take things that don't matter very seriously.

To change your lifestyle, you have to change how your nervous system responds to the environment, and this is extremely difficult.

It's not as simple as two people in a relationship learning to work out in harmony, because you always have to use that higher order brain function to stop yourself from doing what you think is most reasonable.

What other people think is important, for you at the nervous system level you will always view as nonsense that should not be taken seriously...

 

 

Lifestyle Compatibility App

 

Click link to interact with map.

Edited yesterday at 01:32 AM by integral

[integral]

Efficiency / optimization-based — minimizes steps, objects live in use-position, flow over form.

• Fork stays in the drying rack permanently because you use it three times a day.
• Shower curtain left open by default because that's the access position.

Aesthetic / harmony-based — nervous system regulates off visual order, out-of-place objects register as alarm.

• Throw pillows rearranged on the couch every morning even though they'll be moved again.
• Can't start working until the desk is cleared, even if the clutter is unrelated to the work.

Hygiene / contamination-based — organized around clean/dirty boundaries, shoes off, categories kept separate.

• Separate cutting boards for raw meat, vegetables, and bread, never cross-used.
• Outside clothes never touch the bed, change immediately on arriving home.

Ritual / routine-based — regulated by sequence and timing, same order every day, disruption to when is worse than disruption to where.

• Morning sequence is coffee → shower → email in that exact order or the day feels off.
• Sunday night is always laundry + meal prep, moving it to Saturday creates low-grade dread.

Preservation / longevity-based — optimizes for things lasting, long-timescale thinking about objects and wear.

• Cast iron pan gets seasoned after every use, never soap, dried on the burner.
• Leather boots get conditioned seasonally, rotated so no pair is worn two days in a row.

Sentiment / memory-based — environment is an externalized autobiography, objects are kept because of what they represent.

• Concert ticket stubs in a drawer from fifteen years ago, can't be thrown out.
• Grandmother's chipped mug used daily even though better mugs exist in the cabinet.

Stimulation / variety-based — nervous system needs novelty, furniture moves, routines get broken on purpose, stasis feels like death.

• Living room gets fully rearranged every few months for no functional reason.
• Same restaurant twice in a month feels claustrophobic, always hunting new spots.

Minimalist / reduction-based — regulated by absence, fewer objects means fewer decisions.

• One pot, one pan, one knife — cooks everything with this and refuses to add more.
• Wardrobe is five shirts in rotation, wears the same thing most days on purpose.

Maximalist / abundance-based — regulated by having-enough, full shelves and options available, nothing discarded.

• Pantry stocked six-deep on staples in case of anything.
• Every wall has art, every shelf full, empty surfaces feel wrong.

Social / hospitality-based — home organized around guests, spaces stay guest-ready, private efficiency deprioritized.

• Fresh sheets kept on the guest bed even when no guest is scheduled.
• Always extra food in the fridge in case someone drops by, never eats the last portion.

Projects / workshop-based — home is a workspace, projects in progress on every surface, "done" isn't really a state.

• Soldering iron, half-built PC, and open parts bins permanently on the dining table.
• Three books open face-down across the apartment, all being read simultaneously.

Natural / low-intervention-based — minimal products, accepting dust, letting things patina, not fighting entropy.

• Vinegar and baking soda for everything, no commercial cleaners in the house.
• Lets sourdough starter live on the counter, accepts the flour-dust aesthetic.

Surface-scatter / externalized-mind — can't hold object locations internally, every item placed where last used, house becomes working memory.

• Keys, wallet, headphones, receipts, lip balm all spread across every flat surface.
• Bag from yesterday fully unpacked across the bedroom floor, not put away, still "in use."

Impulse / dopamine-chase — maintenance tasks lose every attention battle to the next hit, dishes and laundry pile as residue of always following the strongest pull.

• Sink full of dishes for a week while three new Amazon boxes arrive.
• Starts cleaning, gets distracted by phone within five minutes, room is worse than before.

Avoidance / shutdown-based — unopened mail stacks because opening it means dealing with it, environment is a map of avoided feelings.

• Six months of mail in a pile, including things that are probably important.
• The room where the ex's stuff still lives is just closed off, not entered.

Depression-maintained — bed is the only regulated zone, energy budget only covers survival basics, dishes migrate toward wherever the person sits.

• Plates and mugs accumulate on the nightstand over days.
• Curtains stay closed, lights stay off, one room does all functions.

Hoarding-spectrum — objects can't leave because discarding triggers distress, environment shrinks as objects expand.

• Empty jars kept for years because they "might be useful."
• Paths between rooms narrow over time as stuff accumulates along the walls.

Control / rigidity-based — everything has exactly one place, deviations cause disproportionate distress, guests are stressful.

• Mugs must face the same direction in the cabinet, notices immediately if one is off.
• Guest using the "wrong" towel creates hours of internal disturbance.

Performance / presentation-based — immaculate public zones, chaos behind closed doors, managing an imagined observer rather than self-regulating.

• Living room photo-ready at all times, bedroom closet is an avalanche.
• Instagram-worthy coffee setup on the counter, sink behind it full of dishes.

Learned-helplessness-based — tried to maintain, got overwhelmed, wrote off the whole domain. "I'm just not a tidy person" as identity.

• "I've always been messy" said with a shrug, no attempt made in years.
• Hires cleaners for basics most adults do themselves, frames it as knowing their limits.

Edited yesterday at 01:04 AM by integral

[Natasha Tori Maru]

I can see I nailed aesthetic / minimalist. Voted. I am pretty utilitarian but also highly value aesthetics and always have. Which can sort of butt heads. 

Great post! Aesthetic / Ritual / Preservation / Stimulation / Minimalist / Social / Naturalist 

I don't think there is a a lot of disharmony. I certainly don't feel disharmony

[integral]

Im: Efficiency, Projects, Minimalist, Naturalist.

35 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Great post! Aesthetic / Ritual / Preservation / Stimulation / Minimalist / Social / Naturalist 

Interesting id say we are NOT compatible lmfao

Efficiency sacrifices aesthetics for functionality. For example a aluminum floor for good air. Nearly everyone ive lived with cant tollerate bad asthetics hahaha

But i love mirrors and open space to run. Lots of free open range and space = the best house. Add some rockclimbing and trampolines and swings and monkey bars and you get the perfect house.

ONE FORK, ONE PLATE, ONE SPOON. these are absolutes 🫡 I aint got time to think about 2 forks at a time. Waist of my mental space.

Edited yesterday at 02:30 AM by integral

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@integral I was close to selecting efficiency. In retrospect I probably should have selected it. The example in my mind that caught me was walking; I deliberately tailor my days around walking and cycling. But not to be quick - to lock in steps/movement and hard cardio. 

I actually think I should have selected efficiency because that is correct for me in all other aspects. I will always find the most efficient way to do something. Refine a process to perfection. I actually delight in it... 

I reckon that is an INTJ thing as I am exactly like my dad (INTJ also). But then I have this feminine 'go with the flow, whatever' mode I flip to as soon as my man enters the picture. But can snap back to process mode as needed. 

I have 2 forks, 2 spoons, 14 knives and 1 plate and 1 bowl. I don't like having too many things. Even my wardrobe is the same few items purchased high quality, multiples of, and repeated.... Mostly black 😅

[integral]

11 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I reckon that is an INTJ thing as I am exactly like my dad (INTJ also). But then I have this feminine 'go with the flow, whatever' mode I flip to as soon as my man enters the picture. But can snap back to process mode as needed. 

ok if your father is a INTJ and you survived that childhood, you defiantly contracted the disease lmao

11 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

I have 2 forks, 2 spoons, 14 knives and 1 plate and 1 bowl. I don't like having too many things. Even my wardrobe is the same few items purchased high quality, multiples of, and repeated.... Mostly black 😅

dude 14 knives... do i even want to ask... 😆

Edited 12 hours ago by integral

[integral]

@Natasha Tori Maru I think i cracked the code, the dating apps should question peoples lifestyles in detail and match does up. I wonder if that would work better then the current system that matchs "values" 

Edited 4 hours ago by integral

[Natasha Tori Maru]

34 minutes ago, integral said:

@Natasha Tori Maru I think i cracked the code, the dating apps should question peoples lifestyles in detail and match does up. I wonder if that would work better then the current system that matchs "values" 

I think its a great way to look at. Non-negotiables are the only things I try to discern right off the batt with new dudes. Get that out of the way. 

Its so rare to find people who are up-front and candid. And aware enough of their own needs they can clearly state them. Maturity helps - but MY GOD there are still many immature, low-consciousness individuals in the dating domain. Its shocking when someone is so together in professional life, family, friends. Relationships have a unique way of bringing out all of our uninspected parts and shadows.

8 hours ago, integral said:

ok if your father is a INTJ and you survived that childhood, you defiantly contracted the disease lmao

dude 14 knives... do i even want to ask... 😆

ROFL yeah he was very, very INTJ too. Very difficult for he and I to bond. He expected a female child to be female. So he did not treat me how I expected. Loaded expectations relating to gender. When I hit about 12/13 he realised I was more masculine minded and started to change how he related to me. Which was great! But 2 INTJ's running a construction business can be difficult. Same weaknesses. Same strengths. Insane when we butt heads. The best part is we do not take it personally so it doesn't ruin the father/daughter thing. 

Oh the knives - its not so unusual! My brother was a chef and he gave me many high quality japanese knives. I also have a set of Global knives that are just beautiful to use. And many of these: https://www.amazon.com.au/Victorinox-Classic-Pointed-Paring-Knife/dp/B0052C211C/ref=sr_1_10?crid=28QROH8OOK4ZR&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.sv3TCu0MiebfkZ_YEAjFhnNMMmkbJWr5yk-xeDqxTS046kcBmLr1I9n7O4S3pQsiUdNn2Uibm8_IGcKQKpNdkDmM-_s6aMvLl5csS1PQsd43GyDcR5ab8gbtI1kTnjtPpMwqOzI7vl647sO-09Ip4i02Ukgx1qxE92tO7E7pUYpzcFga0E0PEPOx-AzTfLHlOw21j80Jfn5b8O0qXAmXuzfZa_6-SICdnrsv2jr_9ltw4aRfRbHYXM3Y_XH9N3L_f20HdKJaFW8_cST-FUqit5hCo9l-QUhTz3OSkrVkUmk.r1ARvldF21MovT-5tGDL3HNUPQWcrqHUsF-tEu5vNU8&dib_tag=se&keywords=victorinox&qid=1726709499&sprefix=victorinox%2Caps%2C344&sr=8-10&th=1 

They are the best cheap knives for little tasks - BUT FRIGHTENINGLY SHARP

[integral]

47 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

ROFL yeah he was very, very INTJ too. Very difficult for he and I to bond. He expected a female child to be female. So he did not treat me how I expected. Loaded expectations relating to gender. When I hit about 12/13 he realised I was more masculine minded and started to change how he related to me. Which was great! But 2 INTJ's running a construction business can be difficult. Same weaknesses. Same strengths. Insane when we butt heads. The best part is we do not take it personally so it doesn't ruin the father/daughter thing. 

Your also a INTJ?? i thought you were ENTP for some reason. Something to do with every time i read something you write i have to google 3 new words lol

48 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Oh the knives - its not so unusual! My brother was a chef and he gave me many high quality japanese knives. I also have a set of Global knives that are just beautiful to use. And many of these: https://www.amazon.com.au/Victorinox-Classic-Pointed-Paring-Knife/dp/B0052C211C/ref=sr_1_10?crid=28QROH8OOK4ZR&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.sv3TCu0MiebfkZ_YEAjFhnNMMmkbJWr5yk-xeDqxTS046kcBmLr1I9n7O4S3pQsiUdNn2Uibm8_IGcKQKpNdkDmM-_s6aMvLl5csS1PQsd43GyDcR5ab8gbtI1kTnjtPpMwqOzI7vl647sO-09Ip4i02Ukgx1qxE92tO7E7pUYpzcFga0E0PEPOx-AzTfLHlOw21j80Jfn5b8O0qXAmXuzfZa_6-SICdnrsv2jr_9ltw4aRfRbHYXM3Y_XH9N3L_f20HdKJaFW8_cST-FUqit5hCo9l-QUhTz3OSkrVkUmk.r1ARvldF21MovT-5tGDL3HNUPQWcrqHUsF-tEu5vNU8&dib_tag=se&keywords=victorinox&qid=1726709499&sprefix=victorinox%2Caps%2C344&sr=8-10&th=1 

They are the best cheap knives for little tasks - BUT FRIGHTENINGLY SHARP

ok family imposed knifes are Un-suspiciable.

but a true minimalist rips food in half with there bear hands if absolutely necessary. Only way to avoid extra work 

[Natasha Tori Maru]

1 hour ago, integral said:

Your also a INTJ?? i thought you were ENTP for some reason. Something to do with every time i read something you write i have to google 3 new words lol

Haha - I wish. ENTP's are great! 

1 hour ago, integral said:

but a true minimalist rips food in half with there bear hands if absolutely necessary. Only way to avoid extra work 

One step further for the full chadmogging - no hands. Just mouth on food 

[integration journey]

Too long to read right now. I’ll come back when my ADHD is handled and answer you.