Journal

[Someone here]

There is an important principle in life that I’m learning recently: Never give up.

If you fall a million times, rise up and try again. No matter how many times you fail, no matter how long the struggle continues, you have to find the strength to get back up and keep moving forward. Falling is not the end. Failing is not the end. The only real end is when you decide that you are no longer willing to try.

 I get it , Constant failure over a long period of time can make us lose hope and convince us that success is impossible. When we keep trying and nothing seems to change,  We naturally start thinking of giving up. But this is precisely when the attitude of never giving up becomes most important.

The best thing we can do is adopt the attitude of never giving up. Keep trying when things are difficult. Keep moving when progress is slow. Keep believing when doubt becomes loud. And when you fall, don’t spend too long asking why you fell. Learn from it, get back up, and try again.

 As they  say ,Succeed or die trying.

Not because success is guaranteed, but because giving up guarantees that we will never be successful and happy .

There will always be obstacles. There will be moments when our efforts fail over and over  Again and then we feel exhausted from starting over. But we cannot allow temporary failure to become a permanent decision. We have to keep the door to success open by continuing to knock. Why ? Because there is no other alternative. You are either successful or you are trying . Don’t let failure be an option. Failure is not an option.

This does not mean that every attempt will succeed or that every goal must be achieved exactly as we imagined it. It means that we  must continue until we have given everything we can give .

If you never give up, you can never truly lose. You may fail many times. You may have to begin again more times than you ever expected. You may take a longer road than you wanted. But as long as you continue, the possibility of success remains alive.

So fall a million times if you have to. Rise a million and one times.Try again. Learn again. Begin again.Keep going until you succeed  or until you have given everything you had in trying.Never give up.

 

Edited September 10 by Someone here

[Someone here]

I’m seeing huge improvements in my smoking habit and insomnia, and I’m genuinely happy about the progress I’ve been making. I haven’t smoked in the last three days, and, at the same time, I’ve been sleeping well and falling asleep easily for a few days now. For someone who has struggled with insomnia and addiction to both caffeine and nicotine, I see this as a real achievement .Lol.

There were decisive moments when small, trivial choices became crucial. Once again, I’m reminded of how powerful small choices can be. A decision that looks insignificant in the moment can have consequences far beyond that particular moment. This has become particularly clear to me with smoking. When the urge is really high, having just one cigarette can seem like such a small thing. It can feel almost too insignificant to matter. But that one cigarette has the potential to ruin an entire week. That is what makes those moments so decisive. The choice itself may be small, but its consequences can be much bigger than the choice appears to be.

 

And then there is sleep. I’ve been sleeping well and easily for a few days, which is something I’m very happy about . I’m happy to see improvements in both areas at the same time: smoking and sleep. There is something reassuring about noticing that things are actually changing.

There is, however, one side effect I’ve noticed. I’m becoming much more sensitive emotionally. Sometimes it feels like my emotions are much closer to the surface than they used to be. I can listen to a song and immediately start crying, or suddenly feel something very deep inside me. I can’t control my emotions easily . I cry easily .

I guess these are withdrawal symptoms. Whatever the reason, I’ve definitely noticed this increased emotional sensitivity alongside the other changes. 

 again, I’m seeing that the power of small choices is invaluable.  Always choose the right thing even if you feel like the wrong thing is trivial .

 

[Someone here]

I see no value greater than self-love.
I am the most valuable thing in my world …right here, right now, exactly as I am.

I don’t need to become more, prove more, or earn my worth.
My value is inherent. It has always been here.And this is the absolute truth.I am sacred.I am whole.I am already Enough right  here, right now, exactly as I am.

I do not need to seek outside myself for my worth . I consider doing that a form of stupidity and insanity .I am a divine expression of life itself, worthy simply because I exist.My presence is precious. My soul is priceless. My existence is a gift.

i am the most valuable thing I will ever possess because I am the only and one sacred soul I will experience this life through.

 

 

Edited Saturday at 03:53 PM by Someone here

[Someone here]

Dawn is the best time for spiritual practices . 

[Someone here]

I’m taking a break from spirituality for a few months and choosing to focus more on my personal development during this period. I feel like I want to temporarily shift my attention toward myself, my habits, my lifestyle, and the way I’m living my everyday life.

One of my main focuses during this time is overcoming certain bad habits that I’ve developed. I want to use these few months to make real progress in this area and become more disciplined and in control of my actions.

Another thing I want to work on is getting into a smooth flow state in my daily life. I want to feel more naturally focused, comfortable, and consistent in what I’m doing instead of constantly feeling stuck or out of rhythm. I want to find a better flow within my day-to-day life and become more comfortable with maintaining that state.

I also want to improve my physical appearance. I want to put more attention into how I look physically and work toward feeling better about my appearance. This is another area where I want to see noticeable personal improvement over the next few months.

 I want to become more social. I want to start talking to girls more and become more comfortable approaching and interacting with them. I want to put myself in situations where I can actually talk, connect, and socialize. 

I also want to go out more often and socialize more frequently in general. I want to become more active socially and spend more time interacting with people. I’ve been isolating myself for over two years now .I want to get myself into a smoother rhythm of going out, talking to people, meeting girls, and simply being more socially involved.

Overall, for these next few months, I want my focus to be on personal development. I want to work on overcoming my bad habits, getting into a smooth flow state, improving my physical appearance, talking to girls more, going out more often, and socializing more. This is the period where I want to put my attention on myself and make progress in these areas. 

 

[Someone here]

The main thing I’m going to focus on right now is quitting smoking and sleeping well . 
I will keep a daily record here .

4 days without smoking .

[Someone here]

5 days without smoking . Definitely going through tough withdrawals now. I’m pissed off . My body asks for the nicotine. 

[Someone here]

I want to take a long break from the internet. This constant attachment to my phone and the digital world is really starting to drain me and zap my soul. I feel like I need to step away from all the noise, distractions, and endless scrolling for a few weeks and simply learn to live more naturally again. Last time I did a dopamine detox I felt high just by watching a sunrise or a sunset lol.

I want to wake up early, go to bed early, spend more time outdoors, eat simple and healthy food, meditate, read, reflect, and enjoy the quiet moments without constantly reaching for a screen. No unnecessary electronics, no social media, no endless notifications etc

I see it as a kind of detox, not just for my body but for my mind and soul as well. I want to disconnect from the digital world for a while so I can reconnect with myself, find some peace, clear my head, and appreciate the simple things in life again.

 

[Someone here]

Sometimes I think she is an angel , not just another pretty girl . 

[Someone here]

 

Only when I tried to quit did I realize how completely addicted I’ve become. Not just to one thing, but to almost everything that gives me a quick hit of comfort or pleasure.

I’m addicted to caffeine. To cigarettes. To sugar. To checking social media for attractive girls, even when I know I’m wasting my time. To watching porn. To video games. To music constantly playing in the background so I don’t have to sit alone with my thoughts. I’m addicted to staying in my comfort zone, avoiding discomfort, and choosing what feels easy over what I know is good for me.

I’m addicted to distraction. To instant gratification. To reaching for my phone whenever there’s even a second of boredom

Maybe addiction isn’t always about one destructive thing. Sometimes it’s simply becoming dependent on anything that helps you avoid being uncomfortable with yourself.

Edited Tuesday at 05:05 PM by Someone here

[Someone here]

Relapse . Smoked a cigarette.  Fuck .

[Jirh]

@Someone here

5 days off is good progress. Keep going! 👏🏻

What does it feel like before you smoke the cigarette?

And during?

And after?

Addiction often feels as emptiness before and regret after. And a fleeting feeling of wholeness during.

To break the pattern, you probably need to reverse the sequence. You can try sitting with the urge to smoke for a while, and reliving the guilt before you smoke. Then after smoking, you can focus on the emptiness from a place of non-neediness.

Over time, this should detach you from the automatic action. And eventually it becomes a matter of decision and a little bit of willpower.

Right now, you're struggling because you're enmeshed in an unconscious pattern. Bring consciousness into it, and over time it should dissolve.

And btw, keep them journals coming. I enjoy reading your thoughts from time to time.

Edited Tuesday at 10:56 PM by Jirh

[Someone here]

3 hours ago, Jirh said:

@Someone here

5 days off is good progress. Keep going! 👏🏻

What does it feel like before you smoke the cigarette?

And during?

And after?

Addiction often feels as emptiness before and regret after. And a fleeting feeling of wholeness during.

To break the pattern, you probably need to reverse the sequence. You can try sitting with the urge to smoke for a while, and reliving the guilt before you smoke. Then after smoking, you can focus on the emptiness from a place of non-neediness.

Over time, this should detach you from the automatic action. And eventually it becomes a matter of decision and a little bit of willpower.

Right now, you're struggling because you're enmeshed in an unconscious pattern. Bring consciousness into it, and over time it should dissolve.

And btw, keep them journals coming. I enjoy reading your thoughts from time to time.

Hi there . Thank you . 
well it’s really becoming a physiological problem. The nicotine is in my blood . I’ve been smoking for 6 years now almost everyday.  
before smoking , I feel like I want to bang my head to the wall if I don’t smoke. 
during smoking I feel like I’m getting high . As If I’m sniffing cocaine from a prostitute’s tits lol .

after smoking I usually feel better and calm . But now that I’m experiencing health issues I feel depressed after smoking.

[Jirh]

@Someone here Sorry to hear that, my friend. It makes sense. These physical withdrawal symptoms are common when dependence has occurred. Your body's chemistry had likely changed/adapted after years of nicotine consumption.

But I know people who smoked for 20+ years and quit. It usually doesn't happen suddenly, even though sometimes it does. Most people just keep lowering the nicotine dose gradually until it's negligible, and it works. Never give up on yourself.

Can you at least separate the nicotine intake from the rituals surrounding smoking? That could be a great start, because smoking for most people is almost like a ritual. It involves certain settings and movements. You could start by bringing awareness onto these patterns.

[kavaris]

On 9/10/2026 at 7:52 AM, Someone here said:

If you fall a million times, rise up and try again

Its all you can do . keep gettin up, As hey, everyone wants to succeed, even if theyre determined to lose, right, its like, we are tryina understand a predicament we are in, but it just so happens to work wen it looks like the se surface lvl stuff, of succeeding, or finding some sense of harmony.

30 minutes ago, Jirh said:

patterns

Take notice to the patterns. Cause i think youll find they are unusual, And persist even in the face of not makin sense, even if "making sense" is more of an extension, as opposed to a grounding. Like an attempt to find some ground is, too, unusual, cause youll change those patterns, and the ground will then start taking on diff shapes, i mean, maybe im making it more extreme than it is, granted, some ppl will encounter this, so i guess its good to atleast tell someone jus in case its one of the few who is to take notice to what i call, A Zephyr Wind \ Of Mind, like its a change that pushes, or a push that changes things. Something like that. I mean, drugs can also be a way to accidentally peer around the corners, or they can become like "the habitual battle that lives at the forefront of your mind', Likei try to avoid direct battles and let it resolve in other ways, but i guess some have different ways of viewing it all , maybe, i dont know.

Edited yesterday at 04:00 PM by kavaris

[Someone here]

20 hours ago, Jirh said:

@Someone here Sorry to hear that, my friend. It makes sense. These physical withdrawal symptoms are common when dependence has occurred. Your body's chemistry had likely changed/adapted after years of nicotine consumption.

But I know people who smoked for 20+ years and quit. It usually doesn't happen suddenly, even though sometimes it does. Most people just keep lowering the nicotine dose gradually until it's negligible, and it works. Never give up on yourself.

Can you at least separate the nicotine intake from the rituals surrounding smoking? That could be a great start, because smoking for most people is almost like a ritual. It involves certain settings and movements. You could start by bringing awareness onto these patterns.

I’m already trying to lower the dose by buying cheaper brands that have a lower nicotine concentration. I’ve been making an effort to reduce how much nicotine I’m consuming, but I still find it really difficult to quit completely for a decent amount of time. I can stop for a week but eventually I always end up going back to smoking. It feels like I can manage without it temporarily, but maintaining that for a longer period is much harder.

When it comes to the rituals and situations that make me want to smoke, I’ve noticed that I mostly turn to smoking when I’m stressed or experiencing negative emotions. It has become something I automatically rely on when I’m feeling overwhelmed or anxious. smoking feels like a way to calm myself down or take a break from whatever I’m dealing with.  Do you suggest avoiding stress ?

 

[Jirh]

@Someone here

Cheaper brands are healthier for your wallet too 😉

Have you tried not smoking until right before the limit?

If your limit is around a week, you can make a choice to smoke 3 cigarettes for a day every week. This way you start recovering your agency that it is your decision to smoke every seven days. Then slowly over time, it will become easier to make it 8 then 10 then 15 then 30 days, until smoking is no longer meaningful or relevant.

About the rituals, I meant the exact hand movements and facial expressions that come with smoking. I think most people make funny faces unconsciously when they inhale their first drag. I don't think they know, but it is a consistent pattern among most smokers. The squinting tense eyes and that distinct sharp look into the void as they exhale while their hand is holding the cigarette half carelessly. The image is just funny 🤣

Coffee is also part of the rituals for many smokers.

About the stress, I don't think you can really avoid stress unless you can somehow opt out of life or live as an escapist. And I think moderate amounts of stress are not only okay, but also beneficial for growth. So I don't suggest that you fight normal everyday stress. However, I question the role that smoking has in relieving stress. I think substance dependence creates stress in the form of addiction. The triggers you listed are real for most smokers. But I'm talking about smoking at rest. When nothing is happening, but you experience that lingering tension and desire to smoke, that's not a trigger. That's the substance dependence and early withdrawal symptoms.

It is very challenging. I know many people who can't quit. But also some who did quit. Personally, I bought my first packet last year. But it was also my last. I gave most of it to friends when I noticed my body starting to desire it. I dodged the bullet early. But you can do it. It just requires more willpower and to accept pain as the price for freedom.

Edited 3 hours ago by Jirh