LSD TRIP REPORT - "ETERNITY RIGHT NOW"

[Lord Kadaver]

Technical:
Bodyweight: 140lbs, 6ft
Dosage: 150-200ug
Setting: Apartment Room/Alone
Time: 5:30pm
Mindset: Nervous. Excited. Recently had emotional fallout with an ex lover. Trouble at work as well. Financial/medical bill troubles as well. 
Intention: Hoping for change, no matter its form

Summary:
5:30pm 2 tabs sublingual
6:00pm universe destroyed
5:00am sleep
9:00am next day woken up 

Part 1 (Ingestion/Onset)
Sat on my chair in my living room and stared out of the window at the trees. Placed 2 paper tabs under tongue. 30 minutes of quiet waiting. Sudden uncontrollable laughter/crying. Window, ceiling, and carpet start melting. Room is collapsing. Heavy, powerful hallucinations. I cannot sit anymore. I fall from chair, legs spread wide open. Fucked and raped by the universe until I die. Eternity spent in the moment of death. Eternity in each piece of the carpet as I open my eyes slowly. Legs twitch in orgasm.

Crawl toward fireplace. Fireplace is both an eternal distance away and somehow right in front of me. It is also conscious? Room is teal colored and alive. The universe is alive!
Stand, but shakily... full motor control is lost. Clothing somehow off. Go inside bedroom to get under blanket covers. Starting to get cold. Turn on my blue wall lights--too bright. Just the yellow ones please. Few minutes under covers. Body starts burning. Body is scaling now.

Part 2 (Peak)
Run to bathroom to vomit. GREEN VOMIT? How? So much of it in sink. Rinse and spit with warm water. Look in mirror. Wow... Beauty. Scream.
Stand tall. Bathroom is a green teal color. Universe takes snapshots of 'me' in bathroom from various angles, creating existence in real time.

Sit on toilet. Think about life. Hallucinate infinity. Heavy fractals, beautiful patterns of various vibrant colors stretch on forever. They are real. Universe takes snapshots of 'me' on the toilet from infinite angles.

I ask questions...
WHY EXISTENCE? Silly question. PLAY. DANCE. FUCK. LIVE. GOODNESS, IF THATS YOUR THING. OR NONE OF IT. DOESN'T MATTER.
 
WHO AM I? Another silly question. GOD/NOTHING/ETERNAL AWARENESS

I go back to living room. I play some somber piano music on my phone. Sounds amazing! Music is so beautiful.
Go back to my room under blanket covers. Yellow lights are so beautiful. I play the song "I Lied To You" from the film, "Sinners". I don't know why. I turned me on. A lot.

I masturbate to a porn video. It's amazing but sort of fake. Ejaculation felt good, but nothing feels as good or is as beautiful as the MOMENT right now.
Also, The true language of GOD is SILENCE. Some somber music is fine, but silence is BEST. Somber music is fine, nothing loud! Also, you don't need any fancy items like lotus, sand gardens, 
posters, incense, galaxy projectors or anything else. RIGHT NOW IS BLISS ENOUGH. BE SIMPLE. GOD IS SIMPLE (YET INFINITY IS COMPLEX)

All that is to say, the experienced now is = ejaculation 

I look at the ceiling. Funny face mouthing at me.
I ask myself the question, was I living properly? Not to my fullest potential, I am distracting myself constantly. Be bored, be present, go out, genuine connect with others, and LIVE.
Many more questions...
Addiction? Fleeting. Doesn't matter. GOD. RIGHT NOW
Let her go? Doesn't matter. Protect the organism if you must. But also, GOD RIGHT NOW.
Forgiveness? Doesn't matter. Protect the organism if you must. But also, GOD RIGHT NOW.
God has no answers, because God cannot know anything outside its direct/current experience. God is simultaneously
all knowing, yet knows nothing (paradox yet true) (deal with it).
The only thing for certain that is true is the RIGHT NOW and BREATH. With each breath--creation happening through I.
This RIGHT NOW IS ETERNAL, NOTHING CAME BEFORE THIS AND NOTHING AFTER.
All memories are pure fantasy, do not exist. Only thing that exists is NOW. Even time did not exist before the NOW. Time is being created by 'I' second to second. A sense of becoming what I am.

I AM. I AM. I AM.

THE ETERNAL NOW IS ALSO playful/sexual in nature. It is childlike but also an elderly person. 
THE ETERNAL NOW IS ALSO good/seeking to perpetuate GOOD. Evil doesn't exist. All of "evil" is God. Doing someone wrong is God. Murder is God. RAPE IS GOD. RAPE IS AN ACT OF LOVE. Eternal now also has a forgiving nature unto itself. It's too busy playfully fucking itself to create itself to be anything else or hold any grudge.
THE ETERNAL NOW IS ALSO lacking in emotions such as shame, guilt, anger. EMOTIONS ARE FLEETING. ONLY TRUE EMOTION IS LOVE.
THE ETERNAL NOW IS IMAGINED INTO CREATION.

Part 3 (Comedown)
I went back to the toilet. Sat down to pee. Pee is God. Toilet water is God. Protect the organism, it is weak.
Drank water. Water is the best thing ever. 10/10 would recommend. Chopped and ate some watermelon. It looked funny! ONE OF THE BEST MEALS OF MY LIFE. I looked deeply at the dried sunflowers in my room and the hair on my hand. So intricate and beautiful. Like a painting.
My breath/core/torso/abdomen/anus is where the universe originates from in each moment second to second.
Went outside very slowly to greet the moon. It was glorious! 

Came back inside, sat on couch for a while (thinking about life again). I realized that anything bad can be sat with and breathed away (let it go).
What to do in life? Anything or nothing, doesn't matter. Suicide is not the answer though. Breath is given and Life is meant to be LIVED. SO LIVE and SPREAD GOOD, however you see goodness to spread. Maybe play some piano, make someone laugh, connect with people.

Around 5:00am, I finally went to sleep in bed.
Other messages as I awoke the next day:
God said cleanliness is next to Godliness (so clean your room!) and pick up trash 
 

[Leo Gura]

Hell of a trip. Haha

Congrats.

 

Edited 4 hours ago by Leo Gura

[emil1234]

halleluja for existence right. heya heya ho 

[Lazarus93]

I do also love when the universe skullfucks me

Edited 1 hour ago by Lazarus93