Weirdly a trip on a festival was very deep

[Jannes]

I did a decent amount of psylocibin trips and some they warm, insightful for my personal life but I never really reached mystical experiences. I always wanted to direct my intention to it but emotions and unfocus carried me away, especially because my survival situation isnt perfect. I also have adhd.

The story was pretty different at a festival though where I was making out with a girl who gave me psyloibin chocolate. Maybe it was just because of the stimulation, but I was contemplating massively what truth is, how living without truth would feel like and all that wonderful stuff. 

I am wondering if I just always need a trip sitter, I basically always trip alone. Or if its just that my survival situation seemed handled at that moment so that I could relax into the spiritual domain. 

[Carl-Richard]

Sometimes expectation is a hindrance. If you are in a situation where you do not expect to be spiritual, maybe that is what will happen.

And if you try to be spiritual, that is of course generally a hindrance also. There is a song about this that goes "my struggle to free myself from restraints, becomes my very shackles".

It's also what tends to happen after a first spiritual experience. Suddenly you start grasping to it, and then it disappears, because the experience is not grasping, it's simply letting what is, is.

Spiritual practice, be it psychedelics or meditation, is kind of a game of getting off at the right bus stop at the right time. You generally want to take the bus, the bus helps to take you places, but to land at the right place, you have to go off at the right time.

Grasping sort of becomes inevitable, so you have to teach yourself when it's time to not grasp anymore, when it's time to let go, give up the current technique and just see what happens when nothing is on the agenda, where you can just go to a festival and be there without trying to be something.