How's your dating life in 2026?

[Adrian colby]

Hmm… it’s dire. 
having gone through the deconstruction process and reintegrated everything, finding authenticity and what really moves me has strangely led me to the complete opposite of what I used to be. 
 

now that I’ve opened up and discovered when I don’t resist those things, my life here becomes about connection, intimacy, love, interaction and without it I shrink and shrivel away. It’s not about pleasure, it’s about genuine connection and acceptance of ‘other’ and the full experience of that presence. 
 

it uncovered a very deep and disturbing loneliness. Been in a successful loving marriage for 20 years is no substitute for friends and deep connection. It has narrowed life not expanded it. I chose her because she showed and interest which is in stark contrast to a friend I suddenly just started living. Hitting me like a brick, a kind of love and longing so strong, just sitting with it is destroying me.

theres a love you choose and a love that just is. We very rarely get to experience the live that just is. 

tryi tv to meet people for coffee, new friends, dates, intimacy but not the hollow type…. Anything to get away from the pain and possibility of never experiencing being with someone you feel that way about. Unable to stop it and feeling completely isolated when the friends I do have don’t answer or meet up.

 

several dating and meet-up apps and several months later. Not a single message or interaction. Some of which have literally no users in my country. My personal situation and general physique diminishing my options greatly….

 

sitting in the local coffee shop alone has made things so unbearable I’ve resorted to takeout coffee and sitting by a lake feeding the ducks instead. It gets worse when you hit 40’s-50’s, your looks start to fade and the only ones online are young and disgusted by you.

even going to a festival. None of the friends decided to go and yet again I ended up alone. I had a very interesting ‘infinity of trance’ experience and I enjoyed dancing but… I didn’t speak to, was spoken to or interacted with a single person, not even a drunk girl falling over me by accident… nothing. 
 

October was the last time I met a friend and despite repeated calls or requests to meet up, go for a walk, chat, chat online, anything, there’s been nothing since and the dating or friend match finder has just been more of the same. 
 

I’ve done the celebrate monk mode for many years, I done hhe ‘sexual healing’ and had beautiful weeks of passion with the wife but something else is wrong and the world is turning grey. My marriage is making me feel trapped and limited unable to express, experience or explore. 
 

I am polyamorous and non monogamous. I know that for sure now and so does she. I felt so alive and invigorated when it came to the surface but like every other practice in ‘spirituality’ including dissolving the personality, nothing has made a difference. 
 

back to my original statement… it’s dire

peoole are disconnected or just virtual. People are too busy surviving to go out and experience.

[Vercingetorix]

On 1/9/2026 at 2:52 AM, LordFall said:

I'm a firm believer of the adage you don't attract what you want, you attract who you are.

It's more than a belief; it's pure math. Your (external) reality is the sum total of all your habits. 

[Vercingetorix]

@something_else
Nice. What new habits did you have to install to make these changes?