New Year's Resolution

[samijiben]

I made a new year's resolution to not ask any people any questions.

I am travelling still. I get asked many questions. 

 

Where are you going, what are you doing, where are you from, how did you learn our language, do you have business here, do you want to come with me, have you eaten your lunch yet, Sir?

 

For fuck's sake! People speak so much. And they do it in a robotic way. I know because everyone (most people, anyways) ask the same, mindless questions. This is all in the effort to "get to know you," by the way, but what fucking difference does it make as to the effect of "who I really am" if I'm from Mexico or Kashmir?

 

Anyways, this all came about because I got tired of being asked so many questions. At times I felt like the subject of an interrogation, but usually just bogged down by the monotony of small talk. At the root, it seems like I am fed up to a certain extent with average human communication. It always turns sour fast. The first smile fades and you realize that this motherfucker wants something from me. Even if he doesn't know he wants something from me, he wants something. Maybe it's immaterial like attention. Usually it's material like money. In any case, I want shit to do with it.

 

For this reason, I have proposed said new year's resolution in the name of compassion, solitude, and silence. 

 

Chatgpt can help me navigate this God forsaken country, and in the meantime, I will be issuing orders for tea from now on instead of politely asking the man if he can give me a cup.

 

No questions, no question about it.

 

Move in silence. If opportunity for genuine connection arises, then I snatch it like hungry dog. 

 

Blessings to Actualized.org communidad

[Shermaningeorgia]

small talk has its place. Not everything has to be deep. 

new year's resolutions don't make sense imho. goals can and should be set at any time.

 

[Sugarcoat]

One thing I’ve noticed about a lot of people is that they seem quite engaged with what they do in the moment (especially if it’s interesting like travelling)

Meanwhile i can be there and feel like im just neutrally observing what’s going on and not feeling engaged nor interested in it.

So when people talk about what’s relevant to a specific current situation, you might think it’s just them sticking to what’s “comfortable” to ask in order to strike a convo, and that might happen sometimes, it probably does! But also at the same think I think significant amount of people are genuinely interested in the questions they’re asking you.

What seems “fake “ to you might just be an “average” mind being “average”. People are in a way genuinely average it’s not just all insecurity. I’m drawing broad generalization here ofc asking “basic “ questions doesn’t automatically make you “average” and it’s not even clear what that term means
 

I think we shouldn’t concern ourselves too much about how others are unless it’s harmful and focus more on how we are. If we are being authentic or not.

So if you are bored of small talk you have the opportunity to be authentic and to lead the convo in another direction and see if the person is open to that. It might lead to them opening up too. 
 

I think making a rule that you’re gonna stop something very common socially “asking questions” is a bit too far and sounds like you’re just reacting egoically to situations.

But I think it’s worth to evaluate yourself, how you are socially , and try to align that more to how you wanna be, more authentically , even if it’s radically against the norm (might be scary) for your own fulfillment and depth of life.

But be careful to not be swept away by som egoic reactions that come in the moment …

Edited Friday at 07:02 PM by Sugarcoat