Moving into 2026 as an Integrated Man 3.0

[Zenterus]

New Year's Resolutions are so corny, yet here is mine and I would like to hear yours.

2025 has been a crazy year for me. It's been a year marked by constant change, breaking of old habits, confusion, integration and contemplation.

I've spent so many years of my life grinding hard for my dream to become a comic book artist only for me to quickly realize that it wasn't what I really wanted.

I've spent almost 10 years of my life entrenched into the pickup artist world in which I've grown tremendously but also adopted a lot of negative habits, beliefs and weak behaviors that I'm now I'm fighting to unwire - which is funny since to become good at picking up women you have to develop strong qualities.

Additionally, I've gone from being one of those over the top achievers whose morning routine consisted of cold showers, reading 5 pages of a book, meditation, journaling, setting intentions for the day, reading my actualized self's vision etc etc to being someone a lot more relaxed and at ease with my body.

Beyond that, I moved to a new city, broke up with a woman who was my physical 10 in the process, grieved that 'situationship,' got a job in the new city and started working hard on changing my career into one that will hopefully provide a lot more financial stability, which will also require me making a lot of short term sacrifices so that I can invest as much of my time as possible into learning new skills and even a new language.

It's been hectic, to say the least.

Moving into the year 2026, I have a clear vision for the man I want to be.

I've already talked about my career goals, so I won't touch on that. However, I will relay to you the character I want to embody.

I want to be a man who is fully aligned with himself at the highest level. I want to be in tune with the man I am when the world around me is silent instead of running away from him. I want to face my inner emotional wounds further and do more work on forgiving the people in my life who have wronged me. I want to be more loving, through that process. It is a goal of mine to uphold my own standards and develop more self-respect. That isn't to say that I don't have respect for myself, I certainly do, but there're higher forms of that that I want to achieve. I want to become more aligned with my intuition, which would first require me to become even less needy of a person. I no longer wish to look at my social life from the lens of dating opportunities, but rather from the lens of self expression, filtering, sharing my love with others and making genuine connections in whatever form they may come.

Again, I already embody all of the above, but I want to integrate them at even higher levels.

As of late, I lack passion for life. There is this... numbness that comes with everyday existence. My intuition tells me to embrace that. While it may feel numbing at the moment, my higher self is telling me that learning how to love that empty feeling is the key to becoming the most powerful version of myself. That numbness is groundedness in disguise. 

Furthermore, I've felt this calling towards leadership for quite some time. Especially in the field of pickup.

The last couple of years, I've met many men who are either just starting their pickup journey or have been in it for some time now and I've noticed a pattern of them looking up to me, somewhat. They ask for my advice and they seem to be really impressed with the ways in which I handle my interactions with women. Given as these men tend to have a lot of toxic behaviors and self-esteem issues, I see a great opportunity to leave a positive impact in that community of men. So far, I've taught some of them the importance of not lying to women, minimizing manipulation and opting for self-improvement instead and have helped them get to the root emotional wounds that really motivate them to pursue women the way that they do and I feel greatly fulfilled by this.

Speaking of manipulation, I also want to achieve an even deeper form of authenticity and realness. To be able to speak from a place of indifference to any outcome is a big goal of mine. Here I am. Bare. Take it or leave it. I don't care. 

I've seen the same leadership effect in spirituality circles as well as people struggling with their mental health or general insecurity. I'm an extremely introspective person and I tend to deeply listen to people when they speak - which leads me to believe that I should've pursued a career in therapy or clinical psychology, but that boat has sailed - and that allows me to ask directed questions that seem to help the people around me grow for the better. People often look up to me and I want to lean more into that. I want to build a local community centered around that in order to help people but also connect with like-minded individuals who are serious about inner growth.

Last but not least, I want to fall in love. I'm numb to casual sex, numb to the quantity of lustful conquests. They mean nothing to me anymore. I want one woman who I can connect with deeply and who I can grow together with. A woman who inspires me and challenges me while also brings the passion and beauty along that my heart yearns for. 

I am not a player, I am not a pickup artist. I, in fact, am not an artist at all. I am a man. Human. And that is all. 

[Miguel1]

Beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

I might write my own later, altho I kinda already did in the thread I started the other day.

There is definitely a big hole in the market for Healthy Pickup. Even in a community like this, you see it lacking. When I first joined this community, I expected there to be mostly people who had mastered pickup, transformed it into a healthy version, and finally even transcended it. I was shocked to find out the truth.

That being said, how many really resonate with a healthy version of pickup, since as you said: people who get into it tend to be more mentally broken people. Normal, healthy men look for dating oppostunities via other means.

Edited Thursday at 08:36 PM by Miguel1