Raised by women who hate men

[enchanted]

This channel resonates with me huge. You might also like it. I agree with everything in this video and unfortunately alot of it pertains to me personally. 

[Shermaningeorgia]

None of us are absolutely subject to our formative states.

[Hojo]

@Shermaningeorgia Pretty much are its the beggining of your dream. Everytime you ask how did I get here your childhood is the root.

[theleelajoker]

22 hours ago, Hojo said:

@Shermaningeorgia Pretty much are its the beggining of your dream. Everytime you ask how did I get here your childhood is the root.

Yeah that's when the "core" programs were established. I recently saw my niece and nephew, and phewww..that was something. Very interesting experience that made me wonder about my childhood.

Certain behavior patterns from parents were literally copy-pasted. How to laugh about certain jokes or not to laugh about it, the tone of voice, grammar structure in talking, the whole energy from the child in certain situations. What to get mad about, but also how to express love and so on.

Some things are quite noticeable, others are rather subtle.  I imagine us humans as an empty hard drive as a kid, and the our surrounding (family, friends, education system, general culture etc) loads all kind of behavior programs on our drive. Only later we can realize it's a program and then change it 

Edited Saturday at 07:29 PM by theleelajoker

[Hojo]

@theleelajokerI have the same experience with my neice and nephew. They are severly mentally ill. I could tell the parents what they are doing wrong but it would just be met with arguments and fights. My neice is so fucked up she already tried to kill herself once at 14. She was born a girl and turned into a guy and now just sits around all day smoking pot. I ask my aunt wtf are you doing here and she says you have to pick your battles. Like wtf is wrong with you retard.

When I look at them I see I did pretty good. I cant really help them tho. I see alot of myself in that kid, they were telling me a story about their teacher telling them they are worthless and the same thing happen to me. The best I can do is to take their side against everyone else cause they already have given up on life.

My family is cursed. to see God in a cursed family is a blessing beyond anything imaginable.

Edited Saturday at 06:13 PM by Hojo

[theleelajoker]

Yes it's really hard to observe families from the outside, see some concerning trends and patterns and then realize that there's not much you can do.

One thing is that people get defensive about their identity and kids in general, like you say. Requires IME trust, skill and right timing to influence things in a good way. 

But also, parents in most cases unconditionally want the best for their kids. If they could do it better, they would do it better, right? And as long as they have love for their kids, they are motivated to change for the good of them.

Can't say my family is a role-model family either. Maybe best we can do is doing it differently ourselves and if we manage that, maybe there's a contagious effect on others.