Truffles - 15 g Atlantis

[Tistepiste]

I tripped on 15g of Atlantis last night.

 

Oops. It was my first bad trip. Anxiety took over. I tried to surrender, but I was stuck in a very heavy emotion.

At some point, a deeper voice came, I asked it questions, it was very wise, it told me the answer to my struggles is to "Start loving it".

When asking about anxiet-driven related narrations it winked at me, as if telling me, please, don't go into the story. Don't fuel the anxiety.

 

I have had quite a heavy OCD relapse, the past months. And There's 3 stories thats been on loop in my brain almost non-stop since 2 months.

These stories took over the complete trip and pushed me very deep in a feeling of despair and anxiety.

 

It showed me where listening to these stories and giving it attention will get me in a very stuck place.

But somehow I was not able to get out of it.

 

I have had only very intense but very good trip experiences before these. Where I was flowing and the universe revealed itself to me.

Now I felt like Alice in Wonderland, jumping deeper and deeper in a black hole with only negative energy.

My body is still exhausted. And feeling tense.

 

I started listening to Rupert Spira.

 

I am not sure what lesson I learned from this - yet. 

Well actually, I do. 

It showed me what it meant to be in the moment, and how my body reacted to it, versus listening to a narration in my mind.

These two flip sides revealed itself to me very clearly.

When I was just "being", and "being" curious, my felt my body resting and my mind just being calm.

When a trigger came up and I gave it attention, I was in a war zone.

Of course, I know this already, but now it was very clear on a magnitude x100.

 

I feel a bit stupid, cause I should know better, and Ive been to such profound places in meditation and tripping, and right now I feel I am at square 1 again.

The ego-less "Just start loving it", came from very deep, but anxiety also came from very deep. Those two forces collided in a great way.

 

Thought Id share this with you, cause whatever experience is experience whether we label it as "bad" or "good", its still consciousness reveavling itself to us.

And this time, the humand mind and body didnt like it, and found no way out of it.

And sometimes thats the lesson it needs.

 

 

Edited yesterday at 08:30 AM by Tistepiste

[Verdesbird]

Nice one bro

[manuel bon]

I also took 15g Atlantis but it was probably the weakest truffle trip I had, I actually think that the strain itself is the lightest