The feminine life purpose

[Judy2]

@Lord of Darknessi felt that the disrespectful tone of the message distracted from the argument you were trying to make, so i reported it. don't know what happened to the comment after that. 

[UnbornTao]

@Lord of Darkness Yeah, I hid your post. As long as it is reasonably respectful and meets the guidelines, you can post pretty much whatever you want. The more conscious and honest, the better.

Edited November 24 by UnbornTao

[Lord of Darkness]

On 11/24/2025 at 11:39 AM, Judy2 said:

@Lord of Darknessi felt that the disrespectful tone of the message distracted from the argument you were trying to make, so i reported it. don't know what happened to the comment after that. 

...errrgh??? Distracted me from my own arguement? @#$%&@#! ... sunshine... civilisations has risen and fallen over that argument...

[Lord of Darkness]

On 11/24/2025 at 6:59 PM, UnbornTao said:

@Lord of Darkness Yeah, I hid your post. As long as it is reasonably respectful and meets the guidelines, you can post pretty much whatever you want. The more conscious and honest, the better.

Dm me if you dare explain me how my argument was either disrespectful or not meeting guidlines. Please quote the original post. Was it edgy? Sure. But thats my job. Did it cross the lines? Probably just triggered someone who havent given it a second thought to it. Im not gonna be bitchy about it. Just tell me.

[UnbornTao]

@Lord of Darkness It's OK. 

[Lord of Darkness]

On 12/1/2025 at 5:14 PM, UnbornTao said:

@Lord of Darkness It's OK. 

Are you passive-aggressive me? Or is ok for greenlighting for me to finally go ballistic and unleash the hell on earth?

[Entrepreneur]

On 11/18/2025 at 5:25 AM, Judy2 said:

Coming at this from the other angle, a friend recently told me that finding a life purpose would resolve many of my emotional issues. It is true that I am complacent and irresolute in life. I don’t feel very “autonomous,” I don’t want to start a business, become an entrepreneur, be self-employed, or anything like that. I’m not a huge "gambler" in life. I don’t want my life to be a constant hustle. I value security and thrive in environments where external structure is provided and I am given clear instructions as to what I should do. For example, I was doing well when I was still in school, I loved doing homework and that kind of stuff. And as a young adult, the most challenging aspect has been knowing what i should even do with myself. 

I wonder if it is okay to double down on this personality trait, rather than telling myself to get rid of it. Is it possible to build a more functional, mature, "adult" lifestyle around this need for containment? Is it possible to somehow reconcile the need for security and "being told what to do" with not just blindly mimicking the sociocultural status quo and being a people pleaser? If so, how? 

Not sure if this fully articulates my confusion, and I'm aware that I'm probably not asking the right group of people about this issue here. But I'd be curious to hear your thoughts anyway. 

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with your desire for life structure.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with your desire for security.  (This is a fundamental human "need") It is expressed differently and looks different to different people.   The reason everyone has to work is to earn an income to provide a basic income for themselves which then provides basic securities for their life such as food, clothing, shelter, transportation, etc,  Every normal person feels the same urge for some level of security even if they don't talk about it, say it, or admit to it publicly.   You are just saying it and admitting it out loud, which is perfectly fine.  There is nothing wrong with it.  You are acting in alignment with human nature itself.

Your preference for being "told what to do" does NOT make you an over-the-top "people pleaser".   It is understandable that you would rather have someone tell you what the right thing is you should be doing when you don't feel like you have that figured out just yet.   That is something entirely different than being a people pleaser.

What is absolutely awesome about you that you perhaps have not yet realized is that you already know and can articulate some very specific things about yourself that other people take much longer to figure out for themselves.   For example, you readily admit that you are not a huge "gambler".  You don't want a constant "hustle".  You don't want to start a business, become an entrepreneur, be self-employed, or anything like that.    There is nothing wrong with that mindset.

You are maturing, gaining wisdom, and making decisions about what you "don't" want, which is a normal part of the process of figuring out what you do want.

You aren't supposed to have all the answers when you are a young adult.  I know people in their 50s who have spent their entire adult lives working in a career they are still questioning and seeking a better alternative to.   They have lived excellent lives nonetheless.  You can live an outstanding, excellent, and satisfying life without having all the perfect answers early in life.   You just make the best decision you can with whatever information and knowledge you possess at the time.   This is all any of us can do.

[Judy2]

@Entrepreneur thank you for taking the time to articulate this. it's quite reassuring.

i think in general there are a few more nuances to this and it might be a mix of human/okay needs and my overreacting in one way or another. idk. it's always a mix.