Have you taken the BDSM test?

[NewKidOnTheBlock]

5 hours ago, MsNobody said:

@NewKidOnTheBlock yet, here you are 

from thousand of topics in the forum you thought:  "let me check this one cause it looks InTerEsTing.." 

"let me show how sUpErioR I am by telling them they are doing PeAsAnT things"

"Enough for me to not take it sErIoUSly but here is where I decide to invest my time" 

lol gotta love the haters

 

 

 

Peasantphobia is a serious affliction. Affect 7 out of 6 beautifull geniuses worldwide

[Salvijus]

8 hours ago, MsNobody said:

@Salvijus I was just laughing because it's true lol 

Religious or not, those impulses exist in every individual. How high somebody scores depends on their level of honesty more than anything else. There're a lot of things people supress deep in the basement of their subconscious that they don't even have sufficient awareness to know it's there. A religion or a spiritual path followed in a proper way would actually help uncover and illumine those parts and then transform it back into greater wholeness. There're many problems with the mainstream religion of today tho. You're right to laugh about that. 

Edited 2 hours ago by Salvijus

[Emerald]

7 hours ago, MsNobody said:

@Emerald that's super interesting, thank you for sharing your results Emerald!! I took a Shibari class once and a woman tied me up and I tied her up, it was so profound I noticed that since leaving Brazil the only people I touched were romantic partners, I didnt even know what PDA was lol Im not bisexual but in Brazil when we are hanging out with girlfriends we are always holding each others arms and braids each other hairs.. the class made me remember the importance of touch.

So about the shibari class, there more women there than men (the few men were gays or were there with their female partners) and all the women were talking about how they have a deep desire to be tied up to fully surrender and "relax" which I believe is theresult of the unbalance and push back of extreme feminism, I have so many really strong women around me that also super submissive and you wouldnt say it cause they are extremely independent etc, I guess we try to balance things out in bed. 

One of my female clients was learning Shibari... on the rigger side. And she showed me some of her work, and it was really cool. There's a real art to it.

It is interesting that I score quite high with the rope bunny metric. I like it well enough, but I don't feel like I'm all that into that in a strong way.

I have more of preference for more vanilla forms of submission that have to do with surrendering and softening, so as to experience more emotional closeness with my partner and to allow myself to be taken into the wavelength of his enjoyment. And I sometimes feel like extra accessories (like rope) can shift the dynamic more over into a different more kink-focused kind of dynamic... which is nice sometimes but not my preference.

What my experience has been is that the world is a very difficult place to be in touch with the Feminine... and that's because of a mixture between old-school patriarchal tendencies to see the Masculine as greater than the Feminine (and men as greater than women by extension)... and the response to that with Feminism that wants equality for women and for men and women to be equal... but still unconsciously placing the Masculine over the Feminine in a value hierarchy.

The messaging I got as a child was always around a kind of Stage Orange, "Women can do anything a man can do." And while that's an important message in some ways, it also sets men and Masculinity as the superior standard to match up to.

And there was even a lot of framing of things that girls/women generally enjoy as something women are socially conditioned into enjoying, with no similar messaging around the thing that boys/men tend to enjoy. And this also communicates a subtle message that, "The things that women/girls prefer are so inferior that they have to be socially conditioned into enjoying it under threat of social judgment. But the things that boys/men enjoy are just universally and innately enjoyable."

And this often led me to question my preferences for things. Like, I think I like fashion... but maybe I'm just conditioned to do so. And, I think I like colorful, sparkly things and frilly dresses... but maybe I'm just conditioned to do so.

It was a big gaslight. But the only alternative I knew was worse, which was to confine myself to some previous paradigm of traditional Femininity where I would stifle my innate talents and so much of my personality... and be seen as inherently inferior in a more direct way.

So, in either of the two bad options, there is a devaluation of things like softness, being, receptivity, non-linearity, rest, etc... and a hyper-valuation of forward-moving goal achievement.

So, in that paradigm, it's like a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" because either way, you're devaluing the Feminine polarity and hyper-polarizing into the Masculine. And it causes both men and women to try to embody the most Masculine elements of themselves and discard all the Feminine elements of themselves as a means of moving through life in the most acceptable and respected way.

And it can be difficult to find a third option that actually values, understands, and integrates the Feminine.

And when I was in my early 20s, I hadn't yet developed my relationship to that third option (though I had discovered it through a previous medicine journey and studying Jungian psychology).

And so, because I was at the very beginning of my Feminine reintegration journey, I hadn't yet reconciled my desire for sovereignty and power in most areas of life with my enjoyment of surrender in my more submissive sexual preferences. And it created all this pain and shame, where I'd be like, "Oh no! Does this sexual enjoyment mean that I am inferior? And maybe it turns me on because there's something natural about women's oppression?!?!?"

And it was really difficult for me to enjoy my proclivities without shame and other really heavy feelings. 

But since then, I've worked a lot on the integration of the Feminine and recognize that I genuinely prefer the Feminine polarity over the Masculine polarity for how I live my life. And my Masculine side is important but mostly acts as practical support for those more Feminine elements.

And I feel like my Feminine preferences (including my preferences towards playing the submissive role in sex and in a more subtle degree in a relationship) are just an extension of my power and sovereignty instead of as something that is at odds with it.