New Chapter in My Life: Habits and Disciplines

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #92

Okay so I have created a meal plan as well as a schedule for the ENTIRE week. I am very excited to implement this. I am also going to go out to the city this upcoming weekend to hit on girls. This is my main priority. I HAVE to change myself into a man that gets laid often. This is non-negotiable.

It is 7 am right now and I have to leave here by 7 am. I still have to finish my breakfast, shower and groom and also cook my food for the week. Hopefully I get everything done. 

 

Monday: 

7:00: Shower and groom

7:30 Meditation

8:00 Journal and eat breakfast (protein shake)

8:30 Pack everything up

9:00 Head to the gym 

9:30 Work out 

10:30 am dance practice

1-10pm: work 

10:30 Brush teeth and wash face

11:00 Circulate sexual energy

 

Morning Routine:

Wake up at 7:30am: 0

Make bed: 0

Journal: 93

Brush teeth streak: 95

Floss streak: 0

Shower streak: 66

Meditation streak: 0

 

Affirmations / Visualizations streak:

Hitting on women visualization: 0

"I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 0

"I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 0

"I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 0

Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 0

 

Night time routine goals:

Brush teeth streak: 1

Wash face streak: 1

No electronics before bed streak: 0

 

"Whole day" goals:

No ejaculation streak: 0

Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0

No alcohol streak: 94

No smoking weed streak: 49

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #93

A couple of things I'd like to run by you. Firstly, nice job with the workout yesterday. I made a list of everything that I want to do this week and it has done wonders. I have everything that I want to do this week planned out to a tee. I am excited to see where this goes. The road to become an attractive man is a treacherous, tumultuous path. Things don't get easier, but your ability to handle life's challenges greatly increases. 

I met a girl while I was on break at work yesterday. She couldn't find the coffee shop so I walked her over there, we chatted a bit. At the end of the conversation, I wish I told her that she was cute and asked her for her number.. too bad.. I will have many more opportunities though. You have to realize that every approach that you make is going to make these girls days, its not just about you. 

 

Tuesday: 

7:30 Shower and Groom

8:00 consultation call 

8:30 Journal and eat breakfast

9:00 Meditate

9:30 unsure

10:30 head to dance

11:00 Dance practice  

12:30 Head to gym

1:00 Work out

2:00 Dance practice

4-10 pm: Work

10 Head home

10:30 Brush teeth and wash face

11:00 Practice circulating sexual energy

 

Morning Routine:

Wake up at 7:30am: 1

Make bed: 1

Journal: 94

Brush teeth streak: 96

Floss streak: 1

Shower streak: 67

Meditation streak: 1

 

Affirmations / Visualizations streak:

Hitting on women visualization: 1

"I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 1

"I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 1

"I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 1

Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 1

 

Night time routine goals:

Brush teeth streak: 2

Wash face streak: 2

No electronics before bed streak: 0

 

"Whole day" goals:

No ejaculation streak: 1

Eat 150 g of protein streak: 1

No alcohol streak: 95

No smoking weed streak: 50

 

 

Edited February 3 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Interlude: Personal Journal

 Things to do after work:

- nail down those moves: foxtrot explosion, tango abanico, and tango vienesse cross and memorize the routine

- finish workout 

-Get gas

- shovel driveway so that there is room for both cars 

-bring home water bottle

 

Things to do (at some point):

-get headlight fixed

-sit down and figure out finances

-figure out charger set up 

 

Insight: Honestly, spending those 45 minutes scrolling on Instagram absolutely fucked me. It pushed everything back this is why having discipline over your habits is so important because you have such a large vision now. 

I want to do REALLY WELL at this competition in New Orleans l. REALLY WELL. I am going to work my ass off to learn these steps and have proper form. 

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #94

 

Wednesday: 

7:00 Shower and groom

7:30 Meditate

8:00 Journal and eat breakfast

8:30 Pack everything

9:00 head to dance training

10a-12p - dance training ($20)

12-10pm Work

10 Head home

10:30 Brush teeth and wash face

11:00 circulate sexual energy

 

Morning Routine:

Wake up at 7:30am: 2

Make bed: 2

Journal: 95

Brush teeth streak: 97

Floss streak: 2

Shower streak: 68

Meditation streak: 2

 

Affirmations / Visualizations streak:

Hitting on women visualization: 2

"I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 2

"I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 2

"I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 2

Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 2

 

Night time routine goals:

Brush teeth streak: 3

Wash face streak: 3

No electronics before bed streak: 1

 

"Whole day" goals:

No ejaculation streak: 2

Eat 150 g of protein streak: 2

No alcohol streak: 96

No smoking weed streak: 51

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #95

Things are going to change for me, drastically. I say this because I am attracting an optimistic and / or hopeful mindset into my life. I am starting to curve into everything that I am afraid of. I am no longer afraid to embarrass myself or to mess things up. I drive into whats uncomfortable. I take a delight in it. I want to know the Truth in every situation, even if it hurts, especially if it hurts actually. The idea is not to avoid hard times, it is to be able to take on hard times with an inner strength. This is the best route to take because I have VERY big goals. I want to own a dance studio, I want to have a house, I want to be a world champion dancer, I want to fuck LOTS of women, I want a God-like physique... This is the vision I have for my life. If I am going to actualize all of these things into my life, I have to become emotionally sound and disciplined and mature so that I can handle the trials and tribulations that come with manifesting this into my life.

Lets take emotional mastery as an example. The root solution to dealing with emotions is to experience them fully instead of avoiding them. This is very obvious to me now, so take every action possible to you to do things that are emotionally challenging, especially when dealing with people. 

You know what else I have noticed? When certain people are around, I act differently. I can see and feel it, I don't act authentically anymore, it is unfortunate, it gets me out of the flow. But thats okay... this is just the reality of the situation that you are currently in. 

Okay, so I am sitting at a coffee shop. There are a few things that I would like to work on and I also really want to go to the gym because I only did the first set of my routine.

What does your work schedule look like today? I am going to leave at 3 o'clock today to finish my workout.  I could also use some more food because I couldn't drink a protein shake this morning because I didn't bring home my protein container. I could also use a meditation session but idk when or where to do this at. 

Okay, so I am going to leave here in 5 minutes to finish my workout. Then I am going to grab a protein shake at Cubmerland Farms so that I can substitute my protein shake that I missed this morning. Then. I will come back to work. I ahve to start teaching at 5:30 and I am going straight through until 9:15. I have the two group classes (6:15 and 7:00) and then P*******, J********, and I am forgetting who else. This means that I have to summarize one of my students critique sheets. I will do this first thing. 

I want to have a better understanding of my student body and what I need to do throughout the week in order to set myself up for success. I want to grow here rapidly. Truly. I don't know whats gotten into me lately but I am very focused and ambitious, its great, its awesome. And it stems from having a very large vision for my life. I am able to look at things going on around me with dispassion and detachment so that I can accomplish my goals independent of the opinions of others and how it will affect others. This is Thick Face, Black Heart. 

So when I start my day I am going to type up the summary so that I can present it to here on her lesson. I am going to teach all day and I would like to develop a better system of "things to do" while I am working. There are so many things that I am working on and I feel like I dont have a good handle on it.

Tomorrow, I have a coaching at 11 am, which means I have to get out the door at 10:30 am. I also don't have food made for myself tonight, which is not ideal. Should I do this tomorrow morning or tonight? To not wake up my mom I probably should do it tomorrow, but that means that I have to eat something else tonight when I get home because I have nothing prepared, which I am okay with, my mom made some meatloaf and something else I think, why dont I just eat that so that I don't wake her up. I feel like there are other things I need to do but I m not sure what yet. I also need a new smooth ballroom shirt. I want to figure that out soon... and a vest too!

After work, I am going to that swing dance place and then I am heading home... wait a minute, I have to work out tomorrow as well. When am I going to do that? IDK I will figure that out later. 

And then on Saturday, I am going to be heading to NYC to hit on women! I am very excited to jump into this deep cold pool. Okay... I have to go work out. 

 

Thursday:

7:30 shower and groom

8:00 Meditate

8:30 Journal and eat breakfast

9:00 Pack everything

9:30 Cook meals for Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday

10:30 Leave for gym

11:00 Work out

12:00 Dance practice

2:00 Dance practice

4-10pm Work

10pm Head home

10:30 Brush teeth and wash face

11:00 Circulate sexual energy

 

Morning Routine:

Wake up at 7:30am: 3

Make bed: 3

Journal: 96

Brush teeth streak: 98

Floss streak: 3

Shower streak: 69

Meditation streak: 3

 

Affirmations / Visualizations streak:

Hitting on women visualization: 3

"I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 3

"I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 3

"I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 3

Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 3

 

Night time routine goals:

Brush teeth streak: 4

Wash face streak: 4

No electronics before bed streak: 0

 

"Whole day" goals:

No ejaculation streak: 3

Eat 150 g of protein streak: 3

No alcohol streak: 97

No smoking weed streak: 52

Edited February 5 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #96

Morning Routine:

Wake up at 7:30am: 4

Make bed: 4

Journal: 97

Brush teeth streak: 99

Floss streak: 4

Shower streak: 70

Meditation streak: 4

 

Affirmations / Visualizations streak:

Hitting on women visualization: 4

"I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 4

"I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 4

"I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 4

Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 4

 

Night time routine goals:

Brush teeth streak: 5

Wash face streak: 5

No electronics before bed streak: 0

 

"Whole day" goals:

No ejaculation streak: 4

Eat 150 g of protein streak: 4

No alcohol streak: 98

No smoking weed streak: 53

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #97

Morning Routine:

Wake up at 7:30am: 5

Make bed: 5

Journal: 98

Brush teeth streak: 100

Floss streak: 0

Shower streak: 71

Meditation streak: 5

 

Affirmations / Visualizations streak:

Hitting on women visualization: 5

"I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 5

"I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 5

"I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 5

Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 5

 

Night time routine goals:

Brush teeth streak: 0

Wash face streak: 0

No electronics before bed streak: 0

 

"Whole day" goals:

No ejaculation streak: 5

Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0

No alcohol streak: 99

No smoking weed streak: 54

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #98

What do I want for my life?

I want to be able to approach any woman on this planet and authentically express my infatuation for her. This is my main goal right now. I also want to become a successful dance instructor, teaching lots of lessons on a weekly basis and being able to provide genuine value to my students. So much value that they are astounded at the value that I am providing towards them. 

I also want to be able to have the freedom to make my own schedule. I want to fuck lots of women.

I want to handle business and be confident and take care of things and have emotional intelligence and work hard and be able to talk to people with confidence. I want to be a sexy and attractive man that gets laid A LOT. 

But… I am feeling some type of way right now.. but why? I feel lost. I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like I have no grasp on what Im doing. I feel behind. I feel like all of my students are leaving me. 

I have got to find a way to create balance in my life so that I don't feel overwhelmed by everything that's going on. 

My vision is so much bigger than any one girl. Remember that. 

My new goal is to wake up as soon as the alarm sounds. The time that I wake up will vary and that is okay. 

 

It is clear what I have to do. Now what will my workout consist of?

1. Leg press

2. Barbell squat

3. Dumbbell lunge

4. Lat pulldown

5. Dumbbell curls

6. DB rear lateral raise

 

Sunday:

6:30 shower and groom

7:00 meditate

7:30 eat breakfast and journal 

8:00 get ready to leave

9:00 leave for gym 

9:30 work out - finish legs workout and pull exercises

10:30 head to convention center

11:00 work convention center

2:00 head to grocery store

2:30 grocery shop - guac (avocados, red onion, limes, cilantro, chips), chicken thighs, rice, asparagus or a veggie on sale, whole milk, shrimp, banza pasta, kidney beans, lentils, mixed veggies, toothpaste) 

3:30 throw laundry in the washing machine - also have mom 

3:30 cook meals for the next 3 days

5:00 give yourself a haircut and put laundry away

6:00 head to mikes house for the Super Bowl

 

Morning Routine:

Wake up as soon as alarm sounds: 0

Make bed: 6

Journal: 99

Brush teeth streak: 101

Floss streak: 1

Shower streak: 72

Meditation streak: 0

 

Affirmations / Visualizations streak:

Hitting on women visualization: 0

"I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 0

"I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 0

"I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 0

Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 0

 

Night time routine goals:

Brush teeth streak: 1

Wash face streak: 1

No electronics before bed streak: 0

 

"Whole day" goals:

No ejaculation streak: 6

Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0

No alcohol streak: 100

No smoking weed streak: 55

Edited February 8 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #99

Its 6:47 on Monday and I have dance practice at 10:15. This means that I have to leave here by 8:30am to get to the gym at 9:00 am. I also have to figure out what I’m eating today and what I’m cooking. I unfortunately cannot open the actualized forum page right now because it is not working. I am going to have to journal about my upcoming week without it. Thats okay… there is a lot that I need to figure out. I kind of like waking up this early (5:30 this morning) it gives me a lot of time to figure things out before I get my day started. 

I no longer feel like a victim in this world. I am a force that can accomplish anything that I put my mind to. I am confident and self-reliant. All of my goals will be met with enough drive and focus. 

Okay, so I still have to eat breakfast and figure out what I am going to eat and do for the remainder of the week.

I really wish I could quiet my mind down. It is so noisy up there. Like shut the fuck up.. Let me focus on my goals. What are your goals??

1. World champion dancer
2. Successful dance instructor, making 6 figures
3. Clear headed, emotional master
4. Not swayed by the opinions of others
5. Gets laid A LOT
6. Is very sexy and very attractive
7. Is not afraid to fail
8. Expresses himself authentically out there on the dance floor
9. Has a YouTube channel with a million subscribers, talking and making an impact on his students
10. Has a shredded, “God-like” physique
11. Is enlightened, understand the truth about reality and the human condition

I am starting to see the trajectory of this work: I can have all of the sex that I want, I can have all of the fame that I want, I can sculpt myself into anything that I want myself to be, I can be insanely attractive and sexy, I can be a vessel for Truth, I can be the man that women look up to and swoon over and are inspired by, I can be THAT GUY.. and this is exactly where I’m heading, just watch. 

 

Morning Routine:

Wake up as soon as alarm sounds: 0

Make bed: 7

Journal: 100

Brush teeth streak: 102

Floss streak: 2

Shower streak: 73

Meditation streak: 1

 

Affirmations / Visualizations streak:

Hitting on women visualization: 1

"I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 1

"I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 1

"I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 1

Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 1

 

Night time routine goals:

Brush teeth streak: 2

Wash face streak: 2

No electronics before bed streak: 0

Belly breathing exercise (count to 100)

 

"Whole day" goals:

No ejaculation streak: 7

Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0

No alcohol streak: 101

No smoking weed streak: 56

Edited February 9 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #100

I just reached the century mark for journaling, congratulations! 

The main thing in my life that I am working on is being able to approach women and express my attraction towards them. This has got to be my main priority. I don't want to put this off any longer. Everything I do right now needs to be geared towards accomplishing this in life. This means that I am going to prioritize this over everything else. Be very aware of your tendency to become attached to the women that you see everyday through work. This is a trap. DO NOT hang out with them outside of the studio, you will become attached and want to pursue them, and this is not the goal. 

I want to make a streak goal in which I compliment at least one woman on her appearance every single day. Is this possible? Yeah I think so... This is what I need to do in order to create some momentum for myself. I did this today, I was at a coffee shop and I told a woman that I "that's a nice dress" - this is honestly a really good start. 

The prospect of approaching a woman at a coffee shop and hitting on her feels incredibly daunting, but I can get there. Deep down, I do believe in myself, but there is so much resistance to this becoming a reality. 

The vision of it going well has got to propel you into action. That is the key. Your current reality is that you do not approach women and you don't have anyone to have sex with or become intimate with in your life. Your vision is to firstly have an abundance of women that you can have sex with, and out of that bunch, you will choose one of them and you will make that one your girlfriend. 

The reality is that I feel like a little bitch, unable to get laid, has no courage to approach women, this causes me great shame and pain and I don't want to go on living like this. I have to change this about myself. I just have to. And every approach will making you stronger and stronger and stronger. 

The road is long and treacherous but I am willing to go down it. 

2.9.26

Morning Routine:

Wake up as soon as alarm sounds: 1

Make bed: 8

Journal: 100

Brush teeth streak: 100

Floss streak: 3

Shower streak: 74

Meditation streak: 2

 

Affirmations / Visualizations streak:

Hitting on women visualization: 2

"I love having sex with lots of women" affirmation: 2

"I see funniness everywhere" affirmation: 2

"I am independent of the good or bad opinions of others" affirmation: 2

Free Talk exercise (Say anything that comes to your mind): 2

 

Night time routine goals:

Brush teeth streak: 0

Wash face streak: 0

No electronics before bed streak: 0

Belly breathing exercise: 0

 

"Whole day" goals:

No ejaculation streak: 8

Eat 150 g of protein streak: 1

No alcohol streak: 102

No smoking weed streak: 57

Edited February 10 by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #101

I am removing lots of things from this list as all of the habits that I am trying to undertake are overwhelming to my psyche and it has caused for frustration and continuing to relapse on habits. Integrating habits into your life comes in layers. You start with a few things and then they become habits and you don't have to consciously think about them anymore... and then you a few more habits. A big one that I've added to the "whole-day goals" list is "Compliment one woman's appearance" - this is a great way to ease myself into the pick up journey. I know that I am going to attain an abundance of sex in this lifetime, but I have to start with baby steps as I am currently terrified of this journey. Yesterday, I told a woman she was "wearing a nice dress" - these kinds of interactions are easy enough that I will do them - thats whats important. 

2.10.26

Morning Routine:

Make bed: 9

Journal: 101

Brush teeth streak: 101

Floss streak: 4

Shower streak: 75

Meditation streak: 3

 

Night time routine goals:

Brush teeth streak: 1

Wash face streak: 1

No electronics before bed streak: 1

Belly breathing exercise: 0

 

"Whole day" goals:

No ejaculation streak: 9

Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0

No alcohol streak: 103

No smoking weed streak: 58

Compliment a woman's appearance: 1

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #102

Once I get to 90 days of not smoking weed, I am going to smoke a big fat blunt after work with my friend. These goals are not set in stone and meant to last forever. They are adjustable depending on your vision. 90 days is enough time to deplete the dependency out of my body. After that, I will reset and see if I'd like to restart the counter or allow myself to indulge in weed at times. 

2.11.26

Morning Routine:

Make bed: 0

Journal: 102

Brush teeth streak: 102

Floss streak: 0

Shower streak: 76

Meditation streak: 0

 

Night time routine goals:

Brush teeth streak: 0

Wash face streak: 0

 

"Whole day" goals:

No ejaculation streak: 10

Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0

No alcohol streak: 104

No smoking weed streak: 59

 

 

 

Edited Friday at 04:57 AM by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #103

Okay, so I am starting to eliminate a lot of things from my routines. Let's recap:

There is no habit to cover in terms of when I wake up anymore. I have a high enough vision and enough things to do throughout the day to warrant waking up at an early time without the “forcing” myself to do it. 

I also got rid of the affirmations and visualizations as if I cannot even get a meditation habit going, my chances of visualizing and affirming every day are hopeless. Let's just focus on meditating first. 

The biggest habit that I am trying to integrate right now is a weekly workout regimen and a meal plan that I follow through with each week, but I'm just not sure how to track that just yet.

2.12.26

Morning Routine:

Make bed: 0

Journal: 103

Brush teeth streak: 103

Floss streak: 0

Shower streak: 77

Meditation streak: 0

 

Night time routine goals:

Brush teeth streak: 1

Wash face streak: 1

 

"Whole day" goals:

No ejaculation streak: 11

Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0

No alcohol streak: 105

No smoking weed streak: 60

 

Edited Saturday at 11:49 PM by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #104

Journal 2.14.26

Okay, so I am actually doing really well. A lot of things are starting to click for me in terms of being a successful dance instructor as well as a successful human, which essentially just entails becoming the person and accomplishing the things that I would like to accomplish in life. I am starting to embody a very masculine frame while at work and when I’m around people that entails what I would call being a “dog,” which entails not caring what others think, saying what I want to say when I want to say it and overall just being a fuckin’ bad ass. Truly, I have come so far in this regard. I finally feel like a real man. And the cool thing is that I am going to become more and more masculine the more I develop. This excites me. 

Okay, now let's take a look again at the vision I have for my life, what do I want:

1. I want to be a world champion dancer
2. I want to have an abundance of sexual experiences with an abundance of women
3. I want to be able to have full-body orgasms and last hours having sex with someone
4. I want to have a highly conscious, attractive, highly developed, fun girlfriend
5. I want to be spiritually enlightened, or God-realized, or understand the Truth about reality, reaching consciousness level 1,000
6. I want to make money off of Youtube, getting passive income
7. I want to have a self - help YouTube channel in which I help other men understand what it takes to attain a high abundance of women in their lives
8. I want to have a nice house with a sliding door in the back that walks out to a patio, nice yard with an outdoor bar and pool, screened in porch in the front of the house, I have a large bookshelf with lots of books to read, I have a den area in which I love to read, there are lots of windows, lots of sunlight shining through. My bedroom is quaint and relaxing with ominous, outer space-like lighting. The kitchen is filled with updated appliances and lots of space to cook and clean. The overall layout of the house is very open.
9. I want to sky dive, feeling what it feels like to fly. 
10. I want to create solo performances that move people emotionally, I want them to really FEEL it.
11. I want to be a successful dance instructor, teaching over 30 lessons / week. 
12. I want to make $100,000 a year
13. I want to have a shredded, God-like physique, one like Gerard Butler from 300 
14. I want to have sexy masculine tattoos on my thighs

For some reason, something has clicked inside of me and I am fully realizing that I can quite literally have anything that I want out of life. ANYTHING. And this is so obvious to me now because life is a FUCKIN’ DREAM. And you can dream up ANYTHING that you want. My understanding of this is not logical, its intuitive, I just know it. I could question whether or not this is legitimate but at the same time, I understand that I have to believe in myself in order to make these things come true into my life, so therefore questioning whether or not its possible is not resourceful or helpful to me in the slightest. So I am just going to keep on believing in myself. 

I have started to watch porn again. I am a bit torn by this, but the reason for it is this: my goal is to be able to be multi orgasmic and to have a complete control over my ejaculation and the circulation of my sexual energy. This requires me to be able to circulate the sexual energy throughout my body at will, with conscious intent. This requires me to masturbate and to get in touch with what it takes to not keel over and ejaculate. The more I practice this, the more control I will have over my ejaculation and sexual energy. I unfortunately am unable to in general arise sexual energy within my body without the use of porn, and that is the reason for porn entering my life again. I am content with this decision for now.

Why do I struggle so much to stay motivated on the weekends? If I used even an ounce of the work ethic that I used during the week, I would be soaring above the clouds right now. 

I had a very awkward exchange while visiting my co workers lesson. She didnt approve of what I added to their dance and it made me feel like shit. I do not want to visit her lessons anymore. It doesn’t do a God damn thing for me. I feel masculine right now but I am not hitting on women, well, maybe I kind of am… I had a girls number but she stopped responding to me… I told a girl I liked her dress when I was out at that coffee shop. Thats not that bad. Before I get to the studio, I could try again to hit on someone, that would be nice. I have a  new thing in which I really dont care if it doesnt work out with one girl, I dont give a fuck, it almost just lights a fire underneath me. But I’ve got to start getting out there and approaching once I get used to it everything is going to be cake. And I KNOW I am destined for greatness. I look around and I see people doubting themselves, thinking that they cannot get out of the hole that they are in. I am getting out and flying to the fuckin’ heavens . I’ll take every one of your students, I dont give a fuck. Look at all my goals listed above. I’m gonna fuckin’ crush this shit. Truly.

 

2.13.26

Morning Routine:

Make bed: 0

Journal: 104

Brush teeth streak: 104

Floss streak: 0

Shower streak: 78

Meditation streak: 1

 

Night time routine goals:

Brush teeth streak: 0

Wash face streak: 0

 

"Whole day" goals:

No ejaculation streak: 12

Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0

No alcohol streak: 106

No smoking weed streak: 61

 

 

Edited Saturday at 10:25 PM by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #105

I have to post two entries on one sheet because the site was down every time I tried to get on yesterday. This is the only website that I visit that is consistently down. Then of course, I need to give Leo some grace as he is running this as a one man show and allowing me to post on here for free, not to mention all of the value that he has provided for my life. I appreciate you Leo!

Over the weekend, I went out with one of my only single friends. We went to a nightclub that played salsa and bachata music. I was really feeling myself that night and this is the perfect setting for me because 1. they're playing music that I know how to dance well to and 2. Its still a nightclub, so people are trying to get laid. The salsa clubs I usually go to are for dancers, not people trying to get laid. This nightclub is a much better option given what I'm trying to work on. 

Anyways, shortly after walking in, I confidently went up to this older women with a slender, petite build and asked her to dance. As I was talking to her, she was very responsive, getting super close to me, and not letting go of my hand. However, she told me that she didn't want to dance yet because there was no one on the floor so I told her I'd come back in 15 minutes. 

I then approach a couple of latina ladies at the bar. The thing with this is that you really can't tell if they are going to be attractive until you're right up close. As I'm walking over there, I have to quickly decide which girl I want to ask to dance. Luckily, I chose right and the girl I approached is very cute. We go out onto the dance floor and start dancing with each other with no body contact at all. Then, the next song plays and its a bachata. I put my hands out with palms facing up to invite her to place her hands in mine. I start leading her through some patterns, she knows the basic step, but she doesn't know how to turn while staying on the beat, so shes not that good at least to my standards. 

I am having a blast though, this is important, if you are having fun, then she is having fun. There were times when I completely disconnected from her and I was dancing by myself, playing around with my footwork, this is also nice, I'm not trying to prove anything to her, I'm enjoying myself independent from her, this is attractive. There were several times throughout the dance when I glance over at her and she cracks a smile, when a woman smiles, at always melts my heart. We danced a few songs in a row and then I gave her a high five and left to find my friend. 

Then I see the petite older woman again and we start dancing. We first do salsa and she can tell that I have a ballroom background. We dance a couple of times and then I ask her if she wants to grab a drink, she says shes good, but then I say I really just want to talk to you a little bit and get to know you better so lets go over here, this was a good move and she obliges. She tells me that she is a teacher and she engages with me right up close, nose to nose. Although she is very attractive, she intimidated me with her aggressive energy, which made it difficult for me to lead the interaction. 

She starts telling me that when we dance I should be pulling her in closer and then she gets real close to me so that she can demonstrate. She is right in between my legs, there is no space whatsoever between the fronts of our bodies. We then hit the floor and I start leading her, very quickly she tells me to bring her in close, there is heat between our bodies I never get this close to a lady while I'm dancing with her. I lead her back out of the closeness so that I can lead her through some turns, she quickly tells me to bring her in close again. Now this is a very cool experience, don't get me wrong, but she is now leading the dance, I am following her lead which is a major turn off. Ladies need to understand that the guy has to feel like he is leading the interaction or he will not feel that authentic masculine energy. A woman that enjoys leading needs to find a way to surrender to the man's lead, stop trying to control things, allow us to figure it out, you can guide sure but you cannot control us. If we feel like you are controlling or manipulating us, we will leave. And thats exactly what happened, after a couple of dances, I told her that I wanted to take a break.

I then head back to the other Latina girl that I danced with earlier. I know that she could see that I was dancing with the other girl, this is actually a positive thing in terms of attraction because she is seeing firstly that I am having fun at all times and secondly, she is seeing that I have options, if I choose her by the end of the night, which we will get to later, then she will feel special in the sense that I chose her. Anyways, I get over there and I start asking her questions and I quickly realize she doesn't speak any Enlgish. We start communicating through english to spanish translator on our phones. I actually found this experience quite fun and I did learn some things about her. We are developing raport here, this is important. She has to feel like she knows me so that she feels comfortable enough to go out on a date with me, or better yet, come home with me. 

We "talk," then dance a bit, then talk, then dance a bit, then talk some more. I'm actually kind of killing this shit. Eventually, I aks her if she wants to get lattes with me this week, she says yes, we exchange numbers and I even set up a time and a place right in the moment, so the date is totally set up. Now, will she bail on this date?  I don't know.. but what I do know is if she does bail, then I simply did not develop enough of a rapport with her for her to be interested in me. All of these experiences are learning experiences. I am going to do my best to never get attached to any one single girl as I have a long road of me before I transform into the attractive man that I am destined to be. 

The other part of this is I still have residual feelings for my dance partner. This is difficult to deal with and I have to see this girl multiple times a week as we are prepping for a competition in late March. To add insult to injury, we are starting to get into the intimate side of dancing, in which we are flirting with each other while practicing our routines. I have decided that I will not hang out with her out side of the studio because if I hang out with her, my feelings for her will intensify and I will certain want more. If she asks me why I'm ducking her, I will be fully transparent and open about that. 

I also just realized that I set up this date with the Latina girl at the same time that we usually practice. I don't know if I did this consciously or unconsciously, it felt unconscious in the moment, but here we are and I DO NOT want to bail on this date as my dating life is my main focus right now. I now have to tell my dance partner that I made plans during our practice time. I believe that this is a growth experience for me as we may have to have a difficult conversation with each other and I am also doing what I want for myself, I want to go on this date more than having dance practice and I am sticking to that and I don't care how she feels about it. 

I am going to start setting boundaries with this girl as well as being more open to the fact that I am seeing other women. For a while, I hid this from her because I liked her, and I guess I thought maybe she liked me too and I didn't want her to see me hit on other women. But at the end of the day, there has been no indication that she likes me, we've never talked about having feelings for each other, she has invested nothing into me, and nothing intimate has ever happened between us. From my perspective, she is just a girl that I have a crush on. 

 

2.14.26

Morning Routine:

Make bed: 0

Journal: 105

Brush teeth streak: 105

Floss streak: 0

Shower streak: 79

Meditation streak: 0

 

Night time routine goals:

Brush teeth streak: 1

Wash face streak: 1

No electronics before bed: 1

 

"Whole day" goals:

No ejaculation streak: 13

Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0

No alcohol streak: 107

No smoking weed streak: 62

 

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #106

 

2.15.26

Morning Routine:

Make bed: 0

Journal: 106

Brush teeth streak: 106

Floss streak: 0

Shower streak: 80

Meditation streak: 0

 

Night time routine goals:

Brush teeth streak: 2

Wash face streak: 2

No electronics before bed: 2

 

"Whole day" goals:

No ejaculation streak: 14

Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0

No alcohol streak: 108

No smoking weed streak: 63