New Chapter in My Life: Habits and Disciplines

[Spiritual Warrior]

Habits and Disciplines Journey Entry #64

Today, I am going to head to the neighboring state to visit a girl. My intention going into this is to become more and more aware of what she needs for her development, I will also be letting loose and having fun as I would like to enjoy myself and she is an awesome girl. 

One thing that people get from me is a loving energy, a very loving energy. This is something that I’ve been able to manifest and grow over years. And I look forward to how loving I become in this life. My job here on this Earth is to become the MOST LOVING that I possibly can be. Give yourself up, surrender to the Greater Unknown. 

I have a vision of this girl crying. I wrap my arms around her and squeeze. She is crying about something that is silly, I tell her that “she is loved,” “We all love you and will always love you, no matter what you do, remember that,” This is what this girl is missing, its what A LOT of people are missing. Unfortunately, there are many parents out there in the world that don’t TRULY LOVE their kids, they love them but in a selfish and controlling way, in which they retract the love if the kid does something that they don’t approve of. This is sad, but the parent doesn’t know any better… I mean this is how they were raised as well. But we are growing as a society and we are evolving into something greater, something much better. But there is love all around us, just be open to feeling it. 

What do I envision for this girl, try to take yourself out of the equation. The idea is that she SHOULDN’T need you for anything, that is what you should want for her because not needing anyone for anything is a necessary part of everyone’s evolution. The cool thing about this is that you are able to see past her and past yourself, I am not focusing on her not texting me back yet, I am focused on what SHE NEEDS in her development which is key. 

What does she need in order to develop herself into a healthier human and reach her full potential? The first thing that comes to mind is the fact that she does not love herself. This is big, she is very insecure, mainly about her looks. I could give her compliments, which means I have to give compliments to other women as well. And you could start with something as simple as “I like your shirt.” I think something this simple could go a long way. 

Next, I’d like to analyze what she projects outwards, this will give me insights into what she needs. She definitely judges the way I sound and also the things that I wear at times, this means that she judges the way she sounds and the way she looks because we are both one and the same. What can I do about that? I can compliment her voice somehow as well. Honestly though, I think journaling about this is a bit overkill, I mean these things are supposed to come up organically. I think having the intention of helping her in her development is probably enough for now. Okay… fair enough. But be conscious of how she acts and then journal about it afterwards… okay, deal.

As you can see, I like to have conversations with myself. This is a good way to deal with things for me, it feels like my lower self is talking to my Higher Self. The Higher Self is somewhere “out there” and the lower self is the one that is controlling the body and making choices. 

I am not affected by petty things anymore. I am on my own journey and my vision includes you and also sees past you, onto GREAT HORIZONS, ones that you nor I can currently see. But they are there and I will not stop until I meet my Maker. 

 

Its 9:50 am and I said I'd get there at 1 pm. It takes 1.5 hours, which means I have to leave from wherever I'm at by 11:30 am. I would like to unpack my car first and foremost, then give myself a haircut, then work out to some capacity and also pack that ebay item. Okay, ready go. 

Things to do: 

• Print shipping label
• Package item and put in car
• Unpack car
• Organize room
• Haircut

 

1.4.26

Morning routine goals:

• Wake up at 7:30am: 1
• Journal: 64
• Brush teeth streak: 66
• Floss streak: 2
• Shower streak: 37
• Meditation streak: 2
• Funniness affirmations: 1
• Sexual abundance affirmation: 0

 

Night time routine goals:

• Brush teeth streak: 2
• Wash face streak: 2
• No electronics before bed streak: 2

 

"Whole day" goals:

• No porn streak: 2
• No ejaculation streak: 2
• Eat 150 g of protein streak: 0
• No alcohol streak: 65
• No smoking weed streak: 20

 

Number of Attractive Women Approached:

• For a favor (for example: asking for directions): 2
• Complimenting appearance: 0
• Hit on with intention of getting number or setting up a date: 0

 

Debt relief figures

This is how much money I have left to pay back:

• For mom: $340
• For dad: $685
• For debt relief program: $687.50

Edited 19 hours ago by Spiritual Warrior

[Spiritual Warrior]

Interlude: A Wake Up Call ~ 1.4.26

After a great day yesterday of eating pancakes and lots of positive thoughts and emotions, I got slapped in the face with reality and had one of the worst days in a while on an emotional level. So strap yourself in, you are going to enjoy this at my expense. I am fine by the way, I am actually really motivated and I’m grateful that it happened as it was truly a great wake up call, albeit very painful and embarrassing. 

So I went to a girls house to hang out with her. When I first got there, I was in a good mood, we were joking around, having a good time. Then, her dad comes back and my emotional state shifts a bit and I become less likely to authentically express myself. I thought I was over this but I guess not… I try to release using the Sedona Method, it kind of works but not really… Anyways, he is going to cook us dinner. We go downstairs to practice our dancing, 

It then dawns of me that this is really why I was invited over here, it was to practice dancing and not just to hang out, and there goes another shot to the emotional state.  Now heres the real kicker and what absolutely shatters my emotional state, so she is aware that a few weeks ago, I went to the city to attempt to hit on girls and failed, not hitting on a single one - and she pokes fun at me for that, saying that “its not that hard.” I immediately shut down on an emotional level, I am now completely expressionless, I feel insecure, emasculated, embarrassed. This is a girl that I HAVE A CRUSH ON and she is making fun of me for NOT BEING ABLE TO GET LAID. This is like shit out of a fuckin’ nightmare, truly. 

I really struggle to bring a smile to my face at this point, I make it through the dance practice completely expressionless, she asks me whats wrong but I don’t tell her. We are stretching afterwards and I am able to release the emotions that I’m feeling somewhat and move from a state of apathy to a state of grief or fear in which I am at least able to function. We mess around a bit with the nerf guns until dinner is ready. 

But she is right, I am failing to get laid right now, I am unable to summon the courage to escalate things with her and any other girl for that matter… and this makes me feel embarrassed and useless.

We then head upstairs to have dinner with her dad. I am actually feeling okay at this point as I have successfully released the “apathy” emotional state that I was feeling earlier, thank God for the Sedona Method. We enjoy dinner together and I was pretty calm and collected but not saying too much, just listening and asking questions. 

This girl challenges the fuck out of me with her jabs and although this was a VERY painful experience, it was the truth bomb that I needed. I am going to put all spiritual pursuits on hold for now and I am going to just focus on material success, mainly getting laid. I have put this off long enough, I have to deal with this or it will just keep coming up again and again and again..

Whats funny is that the emotions and thoughts that I was feeling yesterday about this girl and how the day would go were all VERY POSITIVE, what I don’t understand is if my thoughts were so positive doesn’t that mean my vibration would have been matching my desires and the day should have gone exactly as I planned it? Is the Law of Attraction complete bullshit or was my vibration just not truly matching my desire? I have wondered before, do I actually want to get laid? Because if I don’t actually want it, then my vibration will not match that desire.. Hmmm… something to contemplate. 

What I do know is there has been a fire lit under my ass and I am going to deal with this problem head fuckin’ on - I am going to drive straight through the belly of the beast and get laid over and over and over again. And I don’t care if I have to approach 10 women, 100 women, 500 women, 1,000 women, 10,000 women. I am going to keep fuckin’ going until I get where I want to get to. There are no excuses, its time…

The people that make comebacks take responsibility

They don't blame anyone, they don't make excuses

They look at their situation and they say  "I did this"

"I let this happen and I'm going to fix it"

Personal responsibility is the foundation of every comeback

 

Understand that the work that you're putting in today might not pay off for months

But it will pay off if you keep going

There is going to come a day when you wake up and realize you're not at the bottom anymore

You're gonna look around and see that you've made progress

You're going to feel different, you're going to carry yourself different

People are going to start noticing that something has changed about you

 

You work harder than you ever have

You stay more consistent than you ever have

You believe in yourself more than you ever have

You take responsiblity for everything

You stop waiting for things to get easier

You just get stronger

 

If you keep showing up and doing the work, results will come

They have to, its a law of nature

Consistent action produces results

It might not happen as fast as you want

It might not happen the way you expect

But it will happen if you keep going

Edited 5 hours ago by Spiritual Warrior