Narcissism

[Monster]

After a long period of soul searching i have found that i am deeply selfish and narcissistic. And i find that whatever i do about it is just shit im adding on and then suffering the fact that i essentially am my enviroment i grew up in. I grew up in a shitty abusive household with manipulation and narcissism and have found that i adopted these traits, yet these traits have serious consequences for my life. I have long tried reaching out, seeing some way to "fix" myself to stop being narcissistic yet the very self trying to stop being narcissistic is narcissism itself

So i am essentially stuck in this vibrational energy field of being narcissistic and attracting other narcissistic people, its like a self serving loop i cant quite get out of. I have long pondered suicide but after deeper consideration, i know that i am essentially not different from my narcissism, and whatever actions i take will not bring about a real change, perhabs my next life will be just as dominated by narcissism and narcissistic tendencies, because the act of taking my own life is itself narcissism in action. My question is, how do i create a more pleasant experience? How can i improve my sense of myself, if at all? Thanks-

Edited 16 hours ago by Monster
Clarification

[Hojo]

@MonsterTheres only one way out. To love being a narcissist. God made you that way . Society deems narcissist bad not God.

Edited 15 hours ago by Hojo

[Ishanga]

2 hours ago, Monster said:

After a long period of soul searching i have found that i am deeply selfish and narcissistic. And i find that whatever i do about it is just shit im adding on and then suffering the fact that i essentially am my enviroment i grew up in. I grew up in a shitty abusive household with manipulation and narcissism and have found that i adopted these traits, yet these traits have serious consequences for my life. I have long tried reaching out, seeing some way to "fix" myself to stop being narcissistic yet the very self trying to stop being narcissistic is narcissism itself

So i am essentially stuck in this vibrational energy field of being narcissistic and attracting other narcissistic people, its like a self serving loop i cant quite get out of. I have long pondered suicide but after deeper consideration, i know that i am essentially not different from my narcissism, and whatever actions i take will not bring about a real change, perhabs my next life will be just as dominated by narcissism and narcissistic tendencies, because the act of taking my own life is itself narcissism in action. My question is, how do i create a more pleasant experience? How can i improve my sense of myself, if at all? Thanks-

Include everything in Your Narcissism.,.. In the end everything we do is a form of Selfishness.  The Mother doing everything they can so that her children don't suffer, this is because her inner feeling of seeing her children suffer causes HER to Suffer as well, if her children are laughing and having fun, she feels Happy, so it is this way for everything we do, all those claiming to be doing things for others, do it because internally it makes them feel good as well..  The only way this process does not happen is if You are completely able to control how You Experience Life within Yourself, if You choose "I want to be Happy all the time" then You can be, and if You are Happy within Yourself, this will reflect in Your Actions and Response towards others..

So don't focus on fixing a psychological issue like Narcissistic tendencies and such, just make Your Inner Experience Pleasant (Peacefulness or Blissfulness) then everything else will be fixed!

[Monster]

1 hour ago, Ishanga said:

Include everything in Your Narcissism.,.. In the end everything we do is a form of Selfishness.  The Mother doing everything they can so that her children don't suffer, this is because her inner feeling of seeing her children suffer causes HER to Suffer as well, if her children are laughing and having fun, she feels Happy, so it is this way for everything we do, all those claiming to be doing things for others, do it because internally it makes them feel good as well..  The only way this process does not happen is if You are completely able to control how You Experience Life within Yourself, if You choose "I want to be Happy all the time" then You can be, and if You are Happy within Yourself, this will reflect in Your Actions and Response towards others..

So don't focus on fixing a psychological issue like Narcissistic tendencies and such, just make Your Inner Experience Pleasant (Peacefulness or Blissfulness) then everything else will be fixed!

I sense a deeper conflict between your experience of whats true and your desire for whats already there. Does that make sense? 

[Princess Arabia]

6 hours ago, Monster said:

yet the very self trying to stop being narcissistic is narcissism itself

Said right here. There's no one there to stop or fix narcissism. 

 

6 hours ago, Monster said:

So i am essentially stuck in this vibrational energy field of being narcissistic and attracting other narcissistic people, its like a self serving loop i cant quite get out of.

Yes, because you take yourself to be an I that's stuck in that vibrational energy and then project narcissism unto other people. There is no I, there are no others and it's just narcissism at play 'narcissisming'. It's the reason why it feels self-serving and can't get out of. There's no one to get out of anything.

I would have never responded, especially like this, if I didn't sense something that doesn't recognize itself but is trying it's darnest to. The words speak for themselves.

Edited 10 hours ago by Princess Arabia