Am I mad?

[jacknine119]

I realized that I live in my fantasy world. In my childhood I was super active but than I became soo fucking shy. And I think I lost reality there. I have maladaptive daydreaming and as in my daydreams I am trying to impress other or something. I am very awkwardly different from everyone but point also is that I am not successful even in any topic. Without money totally alone. It seems like I am trying last 3 years to change my life. Make meditation yoga read book. I also approach girls so many girls I approached but I feel that I am very cringe and strange for them. How to return reality guysss???????

[Sugarcoat]

You just described my childhood. I was extrovert and attention seeking as a little child. Then I became shy as I gained more self awareness. And I would daydream so much about this ideal self that would impress people

Part of what those daydreams mean is that you feel inhibited in your expression in real life, you don’t feel secure in yourself in real life. So you dream about this better version of yourself. What you wanna do is deal with your insecurities. So challenge yourself to socialize to challenge your fear of being cringe and with time you’ll feel more relaxed. Goal is to feel more confident and authentic

Mindfulness and meditation etc can be good to learn to sit with your emotions, to learn to not escape into fantasy. To learn to sit with boredom. To learn to resist your urges. To calm down the mind and anxiety. So it’s a tool for those things.

Understand that fantasizing is not the root problem but rather it’s an expression of something inside you that is not fulfilled in real life.

So until you solve those things, it could be trauma too, you might use fantasy to soothe.

Also there can be a kind of neurological basis, some people have more introvert brain, I do, and are more likely to be absorbed into thought 

Edited Sunday at 10:45 AM by Sugarcoat

[jacknine119]

@Sugarcoatchallenge your fear to being cringe. What do you mean exactly. Okay I will be cringe and then I will not be? 

[Sugarcoat]

Just now, jacknine119 said:

@Sugarcoatchallenge your fear to being cringe. What do you mean exactly. Okay I will be cringe and then I will not be? 

Well I speak from my own experience. I couldn’t overcome the cringe feeling (which is fear in social situations) if I didn’t actively put myself in different social situations. Both to directly face the fear, it’s when you face it you can overcome it. And also to give myself the possibility of not being cringe so my self image can change into a better one. So basically if you put yourself in social situations sometimes you might feel confident and not cringe spontaneously, it can happen, so that can change your self image into a more positive one

[Schizophonia]

No you have an onversized ego, and you don't want to confront the difference between your ideal and actual self so you withdraw into an imaginary self that automatically immobilizes you, because you already have to accept not being where you would like to be in order to be able to do something; it's unconscious. 

Due to education, or bullying etc; ego hypertrophy is a paranoid characteristic, can also typically presented in other personality troubles like avoidant, schizoid...

 

Edited Sunday at 01:56 PM by Schizophonia

[Sugarcoat]

31 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

No you have an onversized ego, and you don't want to confront the difference between your ideal and actual self so you withdraw into an imaginary self that automatically immobilizes you, because you already have to accept not being where you would like to be in order to be able to do something; it's unconscious. 

Due to education, or bullying etc; ego hypertrophy is a paranoid characteristic, can also typically presented in other personality troubles like avoidant, schizoid...

 

Lowkey spot on

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

Lowkey spot on

Valentin is always right

[RendHeaven]

17 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

No you have an onversized ego, and you don't want to confront the difference between your ideal and actual self so you withdraw into an imaginary self that automatically immobilizes you, because you already have to accept not being where you would like to be in order to be able to do something; it's unconscious. 

Due to education, or bullying etc; ego hypertrophy is a paranoid characteristic, can also typically presented in other personality troubles like avoidant, schizoid...

 

@Schizophonia how do you deal with this in yourself?

[Schizophonia]

2 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

@Schizophonia how do you deal with this in yourself?

I still have to think more about it.