judy's gratitude journal

[Judy2]

~ 

[Judy2]

...not to say that i don't have a good deal of resistance to the concept of a gratitude journal - but i know that there's scientific evidence that this sort of practice can re-wire your brain and generally improve your emotional experience. 

so i thought i'd give it a go and make it part of my routine. can't hurt to try. 

[Judy2]

Saturday, 19 July 2025

i am doing my embroidery work and giving myself permission to rest, relax, and recharge

i cleaned my kitchen and did my laundry

i put on fresh bed sheets yesterday

i like my new gym clothes

i can see that i am fighting for myself and trying to help myself get better

i can see that i am trying to learn to love myself, and to be good to myself (mind, body, soul)

i have friends who i can talk to when i am feeling emotional, who validate my experience, and who are trying to support me 

i have friends who have loved and supported me for years, independent of what i looked like or what weight i was at during that time. (and also independent of how stubborn and frustrating i can be.)

i have some financial resources that i can use to facilitate my healing. i don't have to be anxious about money in the way many other people are. so i am privileged in that sense, because of my parents' financial support. 

even though i am still anxious about it, it seems like things are finally going somewhere with my thesis. 

i am grateful for my brother. a few weeks ago, he drove us up a hill near home where we went for a hike. the same day, we also cycled to a small stream to bathe. the following weekend, he allowed me to sleep at his place and visit him in Zurich, where we went for another hike, went swimming, and he showed me his lab - i am grateful for the fact that my brother was willing to spend time with me, and i truly love him.  

Edited July 19 by Judy2

[Salvijus]

I've been doing recently a similar course that involves cultivating forgiveness, gratitude, hopefulness and truthfulness in a systematic way. Nice to see you changing a tune. 

Edited July 19 by Salvijus

[Judy2]

@Salvijus(: 

it's taking some effort to leave out all the "but"-s in this one. usually, it feels as though all the "bad stuff" is cancelling out all the "good stuff"...so i sort of have to force myself to only mention the "good stuff" here, if that makes sense:)

how has your new practice worked for you? any insights? either way, i hope you've been well! 

[Salvijus]

1 hour ago, Judy2 said:

how has your new practice worked for you? any insights? either way, i hope you've been well! 

I've learnt an interesting thing how forgiveness, gratitude and hopefulness work together like one unit. It works like a vehicle that drives on a highway to God. 

Forgiveness is foundational to move forward in life, otherwise it keeps us bound to things and it creates like a yo-yo effect. You think you're moving outwards, then stop, spin a a bit, and are drawn back. 

Gratitude is a tool to become receptive to life's gifts and blessings. It's about affirming and claiming God's grace for yourself. And as you do so, that flow of energy expands and begins to manifest through you in a ever greater manner. 

Hopefulness is the fuel and the spark that propels you forward. It activates God's creative power within you. It's like a doorway or a portal. A small doorway can only pass small object through it. A medium doorway can pass medium size objects. But a unlimited doorway impedes nothing to pass through it. All of God's creative power can begin to manifest through you. Greater miracles/synchronicities begin to take place. 

"Where is your creative self? Deep down within, in some reclusive corner of your being? Have you given it gratitude? Have you unfettered it through forgiveness? Have you brought it the fuel of life, the light of spirit in the form of hopefulness? Think about carefully, for your creative self defines who and what you are."

 

Edited July 20 by Salvijus

[Salvijus]

1 hour ago, Judy2 said:

it's taking some effort to leave out all the "but"-s in this one. usually, it feels as though all the "bad stuff" is cancelling out all the "good stuff"...so i sort of have to force myself to only mention the "good stuff" here, if that makes sense:)

It's inspirational. 

[Judy2]

@Salvijus interesting, so that sort of tries to combine past, present and future:)

[Judy2]

Sunday, 20th July 2025

i went to the gym and wore my blue shorts and sports bra

i took a shower and it felt nice

i had a paid coaching call and while it was a bit all over the place, maybe it did offer some useful insights in some areas

i am trying to be kind to myself

prioritising sleep and rest - having the awareness that i need to prioritise these right now

[Salvijus]

1 hour ago, Judy2 said:

@Salvijus interesting, so that sort of tries to combine past, present and future:)

Wow, I didn't even make that connection. That's a beautiful insight. 

Edited July 20 by Salvijus

[Judy2]

Monday, 21st July 2025

this morning i had a quick call with my counsellor from university who was checking in with me. > i feel supported and like there is someone who knows what's going on with me, someone who i can reach out to whenever there's something challenging coming up. 

i also had a call with a friend's girlfriend to talk about her approach to coaching and trauma therapy.

i am doing my best to keep making progress with my thesis.

 

went to the library and worked on my sources for the thesis for two hours. it seems as though there is finally hope that this may be getting somewhere.

later in the evening, i decided to go to the gym on an impulse.

Edited July 21 by Judy2

[Judy2]

@Salvijus(:

[Judy2]

[i feel stupid, i hate this journal]

 

• i am grateful for sleep and rest
• i am grateful for having a comfortable bed to sleep in
• i am grateful for having access to spiritual and self-help teachings
• i am grateful for having beautiful writing materials and journals to write in
• i am grateful for my pink keyboard and mouse because they look aesthetic and make working a lot more enjoyable
• i am grateful for the work i have put into my thesis these past two weeks
• i am grateful that it finally seems like i may manage to write my thesis
• i am grateful that i had the motivation to shave my legs this morning
• i am grateful for the existence of my friends

[Judy2]

[i feel bad, everything is difficult.]

 

• my bag with the flowers on it is pretty
• my folder with the bicycle and the flowers on it is pretty
• my dad was being supportive when i told him about a struggle this evening
• i went to the gym today
• i cycled at the gym today
• i wore my anthracite set at the gym today
• i ate pineapple, which is supposed to be good for digestion
• i liked my hair today
• i am trying to be good to myself and resist the pressure to self-harm
• this morning i heard the wind in the trees and i saw the green trees and that felt nice
• the sky is pretty

[Judy2]

[feeling a bit low today]

 

• i like that my thigh muscles show the work i've put into them at the gym

• i like that i pushed through this morning and worked on my thesis despite feeling low

• i am proud of myself for sticking with the deadline that my counsellor set for me and that i sent the email to my professor this morning

• i acknowledge and respect the fact that i am still trying to pick myself up and keep on going

• i acknowledge and respect my endurance to keep going even though things aren't as easy as i'd like them to be

• i am grateful that i slept well and woke up feeling well-rested and re-energised this morning

• i am grateful that i am going to the library now

• i am grateful for the fresh air outside

• i am grateful that i have an abundance of beautiful clothes to wear that keep me warm and comfortable

[Judy2]

• i started feeling a bit better
• i took a nice shower this evening
• i received positive feedback from my professor
• i booked a train to go home again next week - hoping to have a good time then, to have a good lived experience overall 
• i am trying to be in tune with myself, my emotions, and my bodily sensations (which is weird and it's weird to be Me and to be Here, and to be Alive, and to be a Part of Existence,...but whatever)
• i am feeling hopeful in some moments: making plans, setting goals for myself, considering how it might be alright after all. at the same time, i am trying to remind myself to relax and enjoy the process, too (because there is no future; this is it). 

[Judy2]

[doing a tiny bit better today?]

• i went to the gym
• i ran on the treadmill for 20 minutes because it felt good 
• i wore my pale purple sports bra and shorts
• my tummy was a tiny bit flatter and less bloated than usual
• i made some progress with my weights
• i am starting to feel a bit hopeful that i can figure this whole "good body image" and "healthy relationship with food" situation out for myself
• i am starting to have more structure to my meals 
• i am starting to be more aware of hunger/fullness/satiety cues. they are starting to normalise, which is a relief and quite reassuring. 
• i am starting to get more of an idea of which foods are good for me. for example, i was intentionally more aware and present while eating cherry tomatoes and noticed that they look quite beautiful, and they taste nice and refreshing. i am trying to approach food now with an attitude of gratitude and appreciation - makes no sense to feel ashamed or guilty for eating, considering that i have to do it anyway, so i might as well see the beauty in that, be aware while doing it, and in tune with what's good for me regarding nutrition and meal structure. 
• i am trying really hard to be hopeful that life can be good for me now
• i smile at people and sometimes (often) they smile back at me

[Judy2]

• i slept well and had some dreams
• i really like the flowy red dress i am wearing today
• i am tidying up and cleaning my apartment. doing my laundry, getting fresh sheets. i know this is going to make me feel a lot better

 

• i am grateful that i am trying to be nice to myself despite feeling low
• i am grateful for Lana del Ray's and Tove Lo's music

Edited Saturday at 12:46 PM by Judy2

[Judy2]

• i went for a walk yesterday because i knew that it would be an act of self-care
• i like my hair and the length it is at right now
• i slept well
• i am trying to have a good day and make positive things happen 
• randomly polished my nails for the first time in a while and now i'm happy every time i look at my hands:) the nails are nice and shiny, with a subtle hint of glitter:) suppose this will make working on my thesis more enjoyable in the weeks to come. sounds a bit stupid, but typing with polished nails is more fun; it gives the brain something aesthetic to focus on while working.
• went to the gym...i like that my legs and arms are leaner (not in the sense of emaciated, non-substantial or non-existent, but toned, defined, well-proportioned) than they ever have been. like a healthy type of thin that i thought i could never be....so it's cool to see that i can be that.

Edited 18 hours ago by Judy2