Witness The Unthinkable

[ivankiss]

From. Fucking. Nothing. 

[ivankiss]

I have every right and all the reasons to be proud of myself. And I won't lie, it feels fucking good. 

But that's not where this ends. 

A wounded ego is not a joke. Yet it is more often than not met with only more ridicule and hate. The guts turn upside down and the entire nervous system gets fucked. 

Healing is long and painful. But after standing back up on your feet, reclaiming your power and celebrating your victory... You must find space for forgiveness, humility, compassion... That is what brings you back to the center of your being. 

[ivankiss]

You are not bigger than anything, nothing is bigger than you. 

[ivankiss]

I was away intentionally and on purpose for not 3, but 4 days. Just in case. 

Needed an extra day to integrate everything. 

[ivankiss]

Everything is in place, I have 3 more off days ahead of me. Must make the most out of this. 

[ivankiss]

Oh and btw, thank you so very fucking much, from the bottom of my heart. 

[ivankiss]

You are the owner-operator
You are the designated driver
The captain and the crew
The I, I see in you
This is your world and you its master
 

Brother this is your dominion
When will you embrace and love your kingdom?

[ivankiss]

You are the self-made liberator
You are the heart-wave generator
From death into the new
The I, I see in you
You are the light accelerator

Brother this is your dominion
When will you embrace and love your kingdom?

[ivankiss]

Every single time I had the opportunity to party here, I said no. Tonight is not an exception. 

[ivankiss]

At least 13 reasons to celebrate right now, but I'm saving myself for the real deal. 

[ivankiss]

I won't lie. This seems to be far less thrilling if I'm not fueled by anger. 

[ivankiss]

It's peaceful and it's working. Of course it's boring. 

[ivankiss]

Jk I'm giving my best to find something to complain about and I can't. 

A little bit of loneliness kicking in these days maybe. I'm going deeper into solitude. But it's all good. Everything is as it should be. 

[ivankiss]

Still on top of things. 

Both my mom and my ex reached out right before my big level up, no surprise, of course. Handled it well. 

Working for the new company now. It's definitely better. A few minor changes I have to adjust to. Old habits must die. 

Basically, yes, working less for more money. But I have to be smarter and faster than before. 

All is well. 

[ivankiss]

I look back at these 7-8 months, and I almost cannot belive I survived all that shit. But actually, deep down I always knew I had it in me. And that brings a smile to my face. 

Please forgive me for not letting you see the whole picture yet. It would work against me now. 

But it's coming, be sure of it. All the juicy details of this story will be out there, sooner or later. It will all make perfect sense... However, I still must warn you. You might have some difficulty with picking up your jaw from the floor. Or your panties. 

[ivankiss]

I know you better than you think, btw. 

From 'OMG WHO IS THAT GUY'  to 'DUDE PLEASE STOP' ... I've read all your unspoken thoughts. 

I know how you all breathe. 

[ivankiss]

The cosmic joke of course being, that there is no me or you in actuality. And no cosmic joke either! It's hilarious! 

 

[ivankiss]

What Buddhist crap. 

[ivankiss]

Indestructible
On this rock I lie
But I'm alive for good
And I just free myself now
From all what was wrong
Break the unbreakable

All the stars
Fearlessly bright
They call me out there
Order me to face the wind
My structure's alive,
My body's on the way
Don't bow down
Before the walls
Of fear and madness
They try to counter me
And strike me down
To the ground again

[ivankiss]

Inexhaustible
The strength of fire
Is running through me
Spine like beam of light
What mortal could ever
Break this force

Unconstrained
I see at last
My backbone straighten
Thy serpent made of bones
Finally rise up
From the ground awaken

Beat your feet
On the ground now, go!