Finished the LP course

[Jannes]

I was thinking about a vacation programm for people who want a restart with their style, possibly a restart in their life. Next to the hotel would be a huge cloakroom where you can take any clothes you like. The problem is that we often think about how certain clothes fit next to our other clothes or we dont dare to try a new remake so we kind of stay locked. At this place you could make completly new outfits everyday. After you wore the clothes you can just give them back to be washed and offered again. Of course that would kind of be a second hand service. To make it more eco friendly you could maybe also bring clothes and take other peoples clothes in a trading section. 

Imagine you spent a month there trying a new outfit every day, at some point you tried out everything and hopefully really know your flavour then. 

[Jannes]

I was rolling in my bed thinking about all my social problems before sleeping, right after sleeping, I hate that this puzzle seems so unsolvable, I have rarely been so immersed into something. 

One thing I should maybe do is ask for advice. Its just not easy to actually find a serious person I have a good relationship to. 

The other thing is maybe I am just expecting to much. I mean I do ask myself the question of whats going wrong socially because something is out of balance. I am not getting my social needs met and I struggle to do so. But I also have tons of baggage from the past which limits me. So even perfectly going about it with just my conscious self (and my unconscious self hindering me) its probably just not possible to get the type of connection lets say a person with a healthy social past could get. So maybe I need to change my expectations. Improvement is betterment, to feel fully connected and at peace is hard to reach. 

[Jannes]

I think I could really benefit from some tea. 🍄

[Jannes]

On 22.8.2025 at 7:39 PM, Jannes said:

Interestingly though IF that is something I experience over and over again, then I cant really judge my old club in particular. Thats huge. 

That sank in the last couple of days. This takes the biggest reason why I have bad feelings about the club away. So there is no reason to abandon them in particular if I want to socialize at all. 

Just like that I am thinking about getting back in touch. 

I still have really mixed feelings about it though, if I want to go back it should feel right. 

Edited Monday at 10:30 PM by Jannes

[Jannes]

Today is kind of the day to get a lot of things done, so I overslept and got into Youtube addiction again. Put my blocker on youtube again and hopefully doing body doubling sessions next. 

[Jannes]

Said and done. Into a body doubling session now. Maybe I was just stalling in the face of progress. My old club also moved me emotionally so much so I guess there is a lot of processing going on as well. 

[Jannes]

There is a bit of a weird connection with one girl of the old club going on. I got little signs of interest which turned into signs of letting go. There is a huge emotional backstory and so with that good reason for why I feel conflicted about it. But this just made me so emotional today and I thought I was over it. There are just different levels of emotions, today I stood at my own wall in the room to listen to music.. I dont even understand whats going on. 

Thats one part of my old club, completly uncapable to process these strong emotions and finding no one to help and emotionally bleeding out. 

[Jannes]

Maybe I should just start my day with body doubling. As always I got something done with body doubling.