Finished the LP course

[Jannes]

I wonder if all of this table tennis optimization really does me any good. Table tennis is not really survival for me, I do it for fun. Yet I turn it into a survival thing and take fun out of it I think. With my bad table tennis bat, table tennis was already pretty fun, I was just so limited in what I could do. Thats all. I have got all the materials to learn all the new shit I always wanted now. 

Planning a new bat is kind of fun but also painful in a way. I am passionate about it, "thrilled", "activated" , but also not really at peace I feel like. 

Idk

Probably a developmental thing.

Maybe I have more things to say about it later. 

Its weird, I may be in a lot of joy if I just put the cheap rubbers (with which I can learn all the new techniques) on my blade .. or maybe I am fooling myself with the next thing (camouflaged as a step back).

[Jannes]

Just now, Jannes said:

or maybe I am fooling myself with the next thing (camouflaged as a step back).

My distrust in the stories of my own mind is really something lol ..

[Jannes]

Just now, Jannes said:

My distrust in the stories of my own mind is really something lol ..

I bet I said this just to flatter myself/ feet my spiritual ego. 

[Jannes]

I was emotionally not really about what to do with my last date. 

Our first date wasnt a perfect match but somehow the onlynext date I could think of was cooking at my spot which is quite intimate and risky if it doesnt go well and I want to keep a nice connection with her afterwards. 

I dont think she asked me out to smash with me so a quick nut would be the wrong direction + its not actually what I really crave, I want connection as well. 

Just got the perfect idea, BILLIARD!!  Its fun, light and not to intimate. Well if she is interested in it ofc. But in suggesting that I give a good direction.