Finished the LP course

[Jannes]

If you follow the tracks of survival, situations usually make sense

If something which goes completly against the grain of survival happens, that point will create colladeral confusion

[Jannes]

Wrote my friend a pretty long message about how I thought about his psychology atm. 

That feels good, thats something I used to do more often. Its part of my personality to do that. 

[Jannes]

I never thought about the idea to connect my old gaming monitor with my Mac. But I just did it. 

Men its like 3 times the size at least. Not sure how I feel about it, but for long university tasks its probably superior. 

[Jannes]

Buying a cable tomorrow, then I can put my Mac down and use my old keyboard and mouse on the full screen. 

Its an experiment. Potentially I can built a new structure this way, maybe force myself to only work at my desk or something like this. 

A big screen is comfy..    ...  which might not be a good thing ..

[Jannes]

The monitor is actually pretty cheap. Its like 150 euros new. A good table tennis racket costs about that much. Crazy world. 

[Jannes]

Appearently the productivity gain from a large monitor is very measurable. 10% to 40% more productivity on a large screen. 

[Jannes]

I think its interesting when a creative idea really comes to light. 

What is it that makes an idea just click for so many people. Of course some of it is conforming hype but not all. 

[Jannes]

I just remember, I used to play this game a lot back in the day as a teenager. 

What a psychopathic thing to do although I would probably still play it. I remember it being much more bloody then what the picture suggests. 

[Jannes]

Yesterday at my social spot was intense. 

My super strong interest to bond with someone and socialize as much as possible vanished a bit, likely because its easier for me to deal with less stimulation now. 

I became more aware and more .. steadfast in some situations. For example there was one situation where a girl I knew and a dude went to the social spot and were only 100 meters away. I drove by them waving, but I could of handled it more smoothy by stopping, hugging her, greeting him and then going the rest with them. A minor misscalculation. But then later I realized how she made some kind of sexual gesture towards a fuckboy-ish dude (which I shouldnt notice) likely ... I am overthinking this lol. 

Point was I realized that I wasnt acting confidently, lost status because of it and sexual market value and didnt hide away from it but faced it because I couldnt get away with easy dopamine. 

..

Another situation also bugged me a little. I chit chatted and kinda flirted with this one girl last time and she made it pretty obvious that she was sexually interested with a pretty intimate hug. This time I saw and greeted her again, even though we were in a group we talked 1 on 1 and she really made room for me to ask for her number or something which I didnt do and so she said we will see each other next time. 

Not sure what it was, I dont really know what I want I think. Its problematic partially because she is in a friend groups with a girl I like more but because I like her friend more but am not sure about a relationship thats stopping me a bit. Also I dont really feel good about casual sex with her .. I just dont, but that only comes from direct experience. 

Just came out of a long phase of no sexual interest and am starting to make the same mistake again. If you dont learn from your mistakes you make them again. 

[Jannes]

Yesterday was such a fun 2 v 2 table tennis tournament game. We had the top 2 players who play professionally with both a girl who was low to mid level. 

Edited 1 hour ago by Jannes