Finished the LP course

[Jannes]

The strategy to get the link of a video fast works awfully well..

[Jannes]

 

[Jannes]

 

 

[Jannes]

 

 

 

 

[Jannes]

I have had a bunch of thoughts recently which I wanted to write down but then I didnt get to it and now I forgot them lol

Well I think one was that I recently got really horny. My ex f+ posted some status on whatsapp which seemed pretty intimate. She can kind of convey that in pictures. 

Its so weird, on the one hand I like that, on the other our f+ relationship was hell, I never truly liked being around her. Its pretty confusing. Maybe I need to rewire my experience with intimacy with another partner. 

[Jannes]

Just cut my beard and only left the mustache and under lipp beard. It looks way cleaner in comparison. I dont know what I was thinking with this 2mm beard before. I never shaved it off completly for years so I never had a comparison. There is a deeper lesson that I sometimes need to change my usual patterns to see the other side... maybe I should do a hookup is what this lesson seems to suggest to me... 

[Jannes]

 

 

 

 

 

[Jannes]

Just did an hour long meditation where I starred at a black point on a piece of paper. 

I helped me to work through quite a lot of thoughts and relaxed me. No special state of consciousness though. 

Although a bit. When I closed my eyes and let my thoughts run, I had some creative visions which seemed qualitatively different from my usual creative thoughts. Some kind of outfit, some kind of cristal-hearted-redness mixed with all sort of weirdness. They literally seemed higher/ more holy. Very hard to put into words. 

[Jannes]

Its so weird actually being on top of my game and not having things to do urgently. Actual free time. I could fall into video games but better invest it into meditaton. 

[Jannes]

 

 

Edited 1 hour ago by Jannes

[Jannes]

Interestingly my imagination continued a lot in this meditation. And also some parts of my soul, aka deep emotional wounds started to heal. 

The vibe was a bit like this. 

[Jannes]

Raw Consciousness is so beautiful. Its the only beautiful thing. In relationships we experience it for a while. 

I wonder why we run away from consciousness otherwise though. Like my mind wants to numb and distract itself. Whats the deal? How can't I know any better?

[Jannes]

3 hours ago, Jannes said:

 

 

Now this is interesting, I do experience myself having troubles focusing without some sort of input. 

I also heard someone else with adhd have that difficulty and resolving it with traffic noise. 

I NEED to try this