Finished the LP course

[Jannes]

Some early inspiration.

Cant pump out a lot of pictures with the free version. A more reduced version of the second one could be a good starter. The state its in fits into a intermediate state. 

 

[Jannes]

If this is a real T-Rex baby its kind of ugly.

[Jannes]

Just did 5-times my usual RV dose today with relative ease. Thanks to medication. Quality was really bad though. Actually I am questioning wether I even learned anything all this time. Will meet my coach tomorrow though. 

[Jannes]

I think there is an inner switch I can turn around from introverted to extroverted. 
Usually when someone wants something from me when I am in an introverted state I have a hard time to do it. I noticed however that when I consciously make a switch in my brain from inside to basking on the outside social world its much easier, even enjoyable for me. 

Curious how far that insight will bring me. 

[Jannes]

[Jannes]

Men I absolutely hated the situation I was in just now. 

 

So I got late to university (just in time) and had to choose between two seats. My standard one last time or to the left. I would have sat in the middle but I needed to choose so I sat on my standard seat. That was so weird though, I kind of have a weird connection with the guy, where I kind of stealed his friend. And I liked the girl on the left as well. But somehow out of diplomacy or whatever I choose to sit next to him. And it felt weird the whole time. He also seemed a bit weirded out about it. Ffs everyone would be more comfortable if I just stood to what I wanted. Next time it will be extra weird because then not sitting next to him would signal that I didn't enjoy our last encounter. 

This is I think a very specific and narrow set of problems I have which could be tackled very accurately.

[Jannes]

Damnit I was like 4min late to my RV session with my coach. I only got him like every 2-3 weeks for a short coaching, so that is valueable time and seems disrespectful on my end. 

 

[Jannes]

Anyway it didnt go well. I should do 50 targets with 5 questions each for the next time. 

Wait thats not to bad, I do 15 targets with 1 questions a day usually. 

[Jannes]

I have a complete hyperfocus on this video game right now. My thoughts always drift to it. 

I could give it a go. 

[Jannes]

 

[Jannes]

Oh no, I found a new way to indulge in watching youtube videos. If I remember the title I can type it in, switch to video, click on the video and then the blocker sets in. But I will have the link in time to copy in here. 

 

[Jannes]

 

[Jannes]

I lacked a lot of energy and confidence today. I also stood up a lot later so my routine was out of balance but still ..

[Jannes]

I finally made it to my body doubling launge again. Something I notice though is that I am always looking directly in the camera when I look at the other people in the launge. The camera decive and the screen on which I see other people body double would need to be seperated. 

So I would need my laptop to be the camera, or my iPad to use an external camera. 

[Jannes]

Forgot to put that in yesterday:

Great socializing evening today. I am trying harder again and it shows. I feel more confident/ funny/ energetic. 

Sat next to a few new people and that was really nice. 

But oh men some dynamics tear me apart. I have a nice dynamic with two of them. With one I built up some trust. Another I don't know as long but I find her more attractive, she is a bit older (more mature hopefully) and so on. So potentially a better match. They collided a bit today and that sucks. I kind of need to give some direction to it. I was in this situation before and because I didn't choose I didn't take anyone of them, even though I liked them both. 

And later a friend of mine came late to the social spot. She seemed pretty emotionally unstable. I think I put her at ease though. And this was quite stimulating as well. Later on I think she longed for a bit more. I really would have liked

[Jannes]

Just now, Jannes said:

And later a friend of mine came late to the social spot. She seemed pretty emotionally unstable. I think I put her at ease though. And this was quite stimulating as well. Later on I think she longed for a bit more. I really would have liked

Although I find it stimulating to help I dont want to be a soil for her to rely on. I can help here and there though. 

Thats where a professional nearness distance relationship is important. 

[Jannes]

Nice indeed

 

[Jannes]

Why is it bad that people are selfish? that people only care about their survival agenda? that they twist reality to fit their needs, that they are opportunistic, that they lie? why is survival "bad" ? 

Because its a lower form of love 

[Jannes]

Men oh men. I have pretty good sleep discipline still. Going to bed at 1pm yesterday but I slept about 11 hours. There is little that habit can do then.