Finished the LP course

[Jannes]

I put my Laptop blocker earlier but it didnt really help in falling asleep significantly earlier. Stood up at 10 because I felt like this was supposed to be my time to stand up now but I am pretty sleepy. 

[Jannes]

Was watching this in the evening. 

 

I have got mixed feelings about it. 

[Jannes]

The point about only being able to be truly good once you have seen the absolute good is really interesting. 

I remember having mystical experiences as a kid so maybe I got a base of grounding through that. 

[Jannes]

Completly failed my first two RV exercises today but nailed the last one. 

Guess I locked in on that one even though it didnt really feel like I did. 

[Jannes]

I notice that RV is more enjoyable. I have less emotionally loaded thoughts distracting me. WAY LESS when I think about how I started, holy shit. 

[Jannes]

My RV trainer is active on Youtube again after a 2 year break. 

I watched a video on how to prepare for RV. Clearing ones mind is important. I will try to do it first thing in the morning before listening to news. 

[Jannes]

So I tried to catch that girl I kinda flirted with last time. 
At first she ran past me which was kind of an ignoring sign, kind of because I never initiated hugs at the beginning. So later outside I go for a hug anyway. Later I saw her sitting by herself, I walk in her direction and her view goes from up to down which felt like a pretty intentional sign so I go past her. My senses are very active. She talks with guy friends pretty much the whole evening and leaves without anything. 

It kinda makes sense. Well it's hard to imagine what she is going through when it was pretty obvious that she had interest to hookup and I didnt take the chance. Kinda difficult to find a transition. 

On the other hand she may have talked with people from the old theatre club. If they talked shit about me my blood will boil. 

It's already boiling just from conceiving the possibility. 

It's probably nothing but still. 

[Jannes]

I realized today just how top notch my mental clarity is. It was so mudded from Video games YouTube etc. and now there is basically none of it because I consume pretty much none of it. This was a dream back in the day and now it is reality. So I can socialize better .. it's always better in fantasy but yeah socializing feels much better then watching YouTube the whole day. And I am probably just at the beginning, this can get much better.