Finished the LP course

[Jannes]

Just finished with my (working) desk. I placed an arm on the side which holds a multifunctional plate where I can add or reduce functionalities. Atm I place my pens and papers there which leaves my working table completle empty. Only the items I use atm are on the table. I am so happy with this result. My working table is the place where I am a good chunk everyday so you gotta built a nest that suits you. 

[Jannes]

Idea for a pretty dark piece of art.

A flame burning a whole in a piece of paper. Around the lighting flame is the paper gradually degrading. However the degrading is reinterpreted as something beautiful. Directly around the flame which is the light, are beautiful, godly-ish patterns which slowly become less and less as the the further away the paper is from the flame where it becomes "normal". This represents death as the light and the living world as away from god. 

Not sure how that would sit with suicidal people though. 

Edited Friday at 06:40 PM by Jannes

[Jannes]

My RV practice wasnt that good today. I think its because I am still processing so much of what happened yesterday. There is always so much going on socially that its much to process. 

[Jannes]

Went out again today. 

The energy just continues to be that good. I really stumbled upon a key there. 

[Jannes]

Men I have some masochistic tendencies it seems like ..

I wanted to epilate parts of my inner thigh for a cleaner look. I bought some creme which reduces the pain but I was sceptical that it would have side effects so I wanted to see if I can push through it raw. It was very painful but accepting that kinda put me into a drunk state where I could face pain and just in a way accepted it. I ended up epilating my whole ass. Wanted that anyway but shyed away from it because of pain. I will have a smooth but for the next month and WILL enjoy touching myself. 

[Jannes]

And I feel really alive, holy shit. 

[Jannes]

Wanted to enjoy some me time today and am currently binging Rick & Morty but it sucks, I am bored. Would rather do something.

[Jannes]

Pretty sexy style .. but the amount of time it would take to think about your appearence .. not so sexy ...

 

[Jannes]

When you think about someone practically, what they practically could be in your life you are going in the wrong direction. 

The right direction would be the question if you want to "eat a cake, kick a ball, lay there in silence" with them RIGHT NOW and organically a solid structure will follow from that. 

Although the practical aspect isnt wrong either, who nows where passion leads you .. 

Maybe I differ there a bit from Alan Watts. 

[Jannes]

I really freaked up the last time at my social spot I feel like. 

When I sat next to that girl all her friends left us two alone. And generally it seemed like a lot of people were in on it that I could take her.

Well I stopped at some point because I just couldnt find something to talk about with her. I once sat next to her, said nothing and that was it. 

Thats where all your imaginations about a person crumble, you ACTUALLY need to talk to her 1 on 1 without expectation and IF something nice happens like attraction thats good but you cant expect that. Thats why overthinking about someone is stupid, because your thoughts are never reality. 

Edited 3 hours ago by Jannes

[Jannes]

I find it fascinating how messed up charismatic people can be. 

But thats because charisma is part of survival. Before you go out you overcome fear and develop charisma to get social support. 

Some people seem so boring, I feel like they would need help to not drown in their insufferable boredem, but oftentimes they are the healthiest ones because evidently they never really got pushed. Making very strong generalizations of course.