Finished the LP course

[Jannes]

On my hostel trip in Berlin again. A bunch of pretty intense memories came up just being in this mindstate. 

And I also thought about two girls I am both good with at my social spot atm. I fantasized that we could maybe have a relationship all together and the faces other people would make if I told them that. And I actually developed feelings.

And that made some things pretty clear, for one a relationship partner is definitely status signaling for me. 

And second I just think that I havent found my match yet. I didnt take all the opportunities I have got for development bc of integrity so there is still a lot of insecurity I have got but below it all I think I am hot shit and I deserve nothing else then hot shit. Thats where I can find my romantic feelings.