Journey to Self Actualisation

[UpperMaster]

I've been trying to get a job. I applied to 5 dishwashing jobs. I'm thinking of developing my sales skill instead and get into sales.

[UpperMaster]

• I got to start thinking for myself.
• I got to stop fearing being wrong.  I end up adopting the beliefs and view points of others.
• I realise that when you adopt other people’s beliefs, you start living their life. You adopt their lens from which they see reality. 

[UpperMaster]

i keep finding that for me, it’s very hard to separate my search existential truth from my career or other parts of my life.

 

it just happened again, and it’s not the first time where, I was forced to confront truth of an aspect of life. But to understand any truth about life, it’s always in the context of existential truth.

Example: what do girls find attractive? —> how do I know for sure, should I trust my own experience someone else —-> I should probably trust my own experience because that’s the only way I can confirm for myself otherwise it’s heresay ——> How can I trust my own experience, maybe my experience doesn’t represent truth  —-> boom we entered existential domain, now I’m questioning what experience is, how can I know it’s real, how can I be sure that I can trust my rationality to get to the truth. 

 

 

[UpperMaster]

I’ve been obsessing over things that are hard to change like height. It’s probably wasting a lot of my time. This started to happen only after consuming black pill content

[UpperMaster]

Been going crazy because I don't have any stable belief system or anything body of knowledge. It feels like I cant orient myself in any direction, I increasingly becoming more concerned because I literally have no foundation of knowledge to base my life on. 

 

Maybe a better way to phrase it is I am unhappy with my current understanding of life

Edited September 26, 2024 by UpperMaster

[UpperMaster]

[UpperMaster]

 

 

I want to understand more of the benefits of speaking truth. I intuit it to be very important. I am going to commit to speaking and acting more in line with truth.

 

[UpperMaster]

Last year I used a technique to get me to study and score high on a math midterm. I think that was the highlight of the year academically speaking. 

Apart from fear mongering, this technique is also something that worked. It's just more mundane, boring, and is bad for cramming but great in terms of putting in consistent work. I will start using that instead and report my findings here.

[UpperMaster]

I hate myself so much. Everything I do gets fucked. 

[UpperMaster]

Fuck self-improvement it literally doesn’t work. Most people that tell me that self improvement changed their lives are fuckin losers aswell. 
 

only a small percentage actually win. Spend money on some course and they find “life purpose” but their life purpose is not even an accomplishment it’s some boring shit. Niggas maxing out 200k salary and are like I’m successful. To me 200k is dissapointinf and I can barely make anything because I’m useless. Can’t work for shit. It’s not adhd I’m a pussy and retarded.

[UpperMaster]

I rather die fighting though 

[UpperMaster]

lost hope, want hope

[UpperMaster]

Hey guys I am back. Uni started, a lot going on in my life. 

 

I strongly suspect that I have an incredibly strong victim mindset, especially when it comes to dating. Blackpill has poisoned my mind, and I am unable to break free of that completely. There are many men in my life that are not conventionally attractive at all and have good looking girlfriends. Despite this glaring proof, its hard to shift my mind completely.

So I watched thus video:

 

 

This video made me realize how important understanding self-deception is when trying to self actualize. I mean, I am dealing with these problems FIRST HAND. I am actively suffering from my minds self deception, and I now see how the mind can self sabotage you if you let it. It's actually crazy. I realize that understanding self-deception is foundational. I cant accurately assess and understand the world around me if I keep getting deceived by my mind. Now I realize how important this topic is. I didn't before and as a result I am suffering. 

 

I will dedicate my time into understanding self-deception because now I understand that if I don't grasp the ways my mind fucks me then I can kiss truth goodbye. 

[Yimpa]

Welcome back!

[UpperMaster]

@Yimpa

[UpperMaster]

Things that happened while I was gone

1. Went on national television 

2. Met so many new friends in uni 

3. Met some girls that I might go for 

4. Parents are buying new house, saw that it's great. The previous owners are very nice.

5. Today I met a guy in uni who makes a fuck ton of money as an entrepreneur like I think over 6 figures. It's really inspiring, because we talk in the same wavelength, I enjoy talking to him, we talked about a lot of things. It's super inspiring because now I see it in myself to be able to run a successful business aswell. Its awesome. 

6. Keeping in touch with my old friends, I know a lot of people now 

 

damn today was good, meeting someone that's actually successful was so cool, we talk like the same, its awesome, we talk incredibly ADHD. We talked for a couple hours. After this I kind of believe in myself more. Maybe I can do it aswell.

[UpperMaster]

If he can do it, I can do it.

[UpperMaster]

A lot of cool things pointing me into becoming an euntrapreneur today. I won't say anything because I am supersitous. I might share the aftermath, but I am actually superstitious and I want to make this work so.

[UpperMaster]

I am going restrict and heavily control my social media diet. Self trust seems to be key for entrepreneurial endeavors. I am only going to watch Euntraprenuerial content. Things like school of hard knocks. 

[UpperMaster]

Just got soft rejected by a girl. Ouch.