Spiritual Guidence or someone to talk to ? Sense of lack

[matoriii]

So my journey is very long and basicly my life led me to this point . I am 19 btw . I did litterarly everything i wanted to do , faced almost everything i was fearing . Because first succes was a requierment to love myself , then courage then it felt like the thing that made my life better was expired and making it worse cause i started doing things just to please this super ego of mine . So i realised i was everything and cant become better , everything just is , and also this is not all but you can realise my childhood was very traumatic that i helped myself all the time . But now its like i solved my trauma and dont have the same lack to motivate me .

 

But now... Its diffrent ... Like i saw that i am everything there is almost like the point is not to get that girl or have alot of money or all that . But is to have as small of a shadow as u can . In other tearms to have unconditional self worth and acceptance . Which i was capable to have for some time but because i stopped everything in my life . My Ego took over , indulging in all easy dopamine things stuck in this home bubble of mine . I actually am very charismatic and was actually very popular during mine "courage and conquring phase" . But honestly it dried on me like validation didnt feel that good , FREEDOM did so i ventured here . I wanted to be able to do whatever i want and not judge myself . Along that i stopped my whole life . Basketball which led me and thought me all this i stopped playing and now am like trying to force myself to enlightenment which i dont even know what it mean after like 5 mounths on not doing any work on myself . I know i will bounce back and i can do everything its needed but i dont see the point . Its like there is no place that is better than this you cant become better (worthier beeing ) like ye you can become better at something but that just is . If you dont judge your worth of it , it has no benefits . I know i have everything i ever needed and its inside me . Nothing ever gave me an emotion but myself and i know this for a fact . But yes i want to engage in life i want to go out there and do what i want . Not to fullfil me , but to be already fulfiled and do those things because i like them . 

 

I am kinda going off here . But as i said i am really stuck nothing keeps me moving because i know its my head thats causing me suffering not outside events . But still i proceed to not work on it . I dont need a guru that can elighten me i just need like advanced motivation lol . Like for people that understand more . Wish you all good day , i know times will get better for all of us . Love.

[Soul Flight]

Give it time. The obstacle is the path. The external world is a reflection of your internal world.

Google the Zen 10 bulls or ox herding pictures or stories.

Seems like you want to be free of the observer or your voice or thoughts. The watcher. You want to be in the zone or flow state.

Are you hitting all the basics like drink water, go vegan, breathe deeply, sleep very well, eat healthy, take a multivitamin, avoid sugar, caffeine, and salt, see water, hear water, see nature, hear nature, listen to positive upbeat major chord music, get a pet, get a plant, have relationships, visit family and friends, get a job, go to school, exercise, get sunshine, do yoga, acupuncture, massage, and reiki, clean your room, clean your car, stop screen time and devices, delete social media, unplug, do inner child work, do shadow work, travel, etc. Be well.

[matoriii]

@Soul Flight im not doing most of the stuff you said because i see it as a requierment . BUT as of late i see how your body influences your mind . So tell me more about it why you see these things so important ? 

 

[Thought Art]

In reality outside and inside count 

You are very young.

Patience. 

Edited April 11 by Thought Art

[Soul Flight]

11 hours ago, matoriii said:

@Soul Flight im not doing most of the stuff you said because i see it as a requierment . BUT as of late i see how your body influences your mind . So tell me more about it why you see these things so important ? 

 

Howdy. I'm not sure what you are looking for. But in 2024 it seems like 19 year olds eat bad food, drink energy drinks, and play video games. All this may rot your mind or hypnotize or prevent clarity or thinking. It is all anesthesia. The body is the brain. It may be an illusion that the brain and mind are in the head independent of the body. People often lose sight of the fundamentals which I listed in my previous post. You are a machine and you need the entire machine to run well.

Dancing may seem stupid intellectually until you actually dance with a group of people. New ideas emerge. So all the things I recommend above may seem dumb intellectually until you actually try them.

Society today may be sick. It is Plato's allegory of the cave. Abandon cultural norms and follow your own path. Best wishes.

Edited April 11 by Soul Flight

[Davino]