Knock

The Ten Commandments: 1. Criticism is a higher value than connection. One leads to growth, the other leads nowhere. 2. Don’t trust anyone but yourself. You are the hardest person to fool. 3. All truths are partial truths, except the truth you are God. 4. Avoid groups where a single authority figure talks about occult knowledge to groups of devout followers, this is a sign of a cult. 5. When accessing someone’s opinion, filter them through the model of Spiral Dynamics to see if they are worth listening to. 6. Don’t take the evil in this world seriously, its just God being creative. 7. Your normal mind is deluded, take psychedelics to see reality clearly. 8. The highest good you can do for the world is to counter intuitively sit by yourself alone with your thoughts. 9. Awareness alone of your fallacies will cure them. 10. Don’t fall into the trap of critiquing the messenger, instead contemplate if there is any truth in the message.

Your direct experience is filtered through your senses and your brain to become your perception. Without a brain, there is nothing to witness the experience. All of our experiences are filtered this way, even if you try and to not attach any labels to it, all experience is partial truth. Hence, we cannot fully trust our direct experience, but it is the best thing we have got. Just know that our brains and perceptions can be tricked, and its prone to being deceptive at times.

I believe I am a sex god. I’m good looking and know how to make a girl’s night. I know how you see yourself is how you perceive how others see you. So I think everyone is checking me out. I believe I am beautiful, I have self-confidence and I am not driven by fear. So what’s so wrong with me walking around shirtless while hiking or at parties? What’s wrong with drawing attention to myself? I have congruence in my belief and behaviour. To not display my beauty would be inauthentic to how I see myself. Yet I get told off by other people. I just think they just insecure about their bodies.

The difference between cocky and confident is based on the insecurity of the accusers. Why does cocky get such a bad rap? Are people trying to justify their lack in confidence so they attack those who have it, as some form of ego defense mechanism?

With limited free time, our time is valuable. With endless free time, time is valueless. A game of football wouldn't be the same if there were no boundaries. My advice to you is to set some boundaries in your life. Book yourself in to do things with people, to attend events, play sport, whatever interest you. Social accountability is a big motivator here. I would also set some time-bound goals. It could be taking a online course or commiting to doing a blog post 3 times a week. Lastly, get some intentional suffering in your life. Too much comfort weakens the soul. Spend a day fasting. Try cold showers. Spend a night home with no internet. Doing these things not only makes you grateful for your life, it re-vitalises your energy and gets you motivated again.

Because the negative reactions of others.

@CreamCat Male @MisterMan Correct me if I'm wrong, but your saying its not the act, but the intention? Why I walk around shirtless? Because I feel more comfortable that way. I don't expect anything to happen, nor do I need the validation from others, because I know and accept myself.

I may be wrong too, but I have had a different experience with intuition. When I tried to intuitively cook for the first time, I failed miserably. When I tried to intuitively have sex for the first time, it was comical. When I was new to salsa dancing and left my dancing skills up to intuition, I couldn't even pull 2 moves together. We have instinct carried from DNA, but not intuition. When we have no knowledge or experience, our intuition fails. However our knowledge and experience is vast and carries over to many aspects of our lives, many we are not even conscious of. The direction you feel compelled to go is based off prior experience or knowledge. A child has no intuition of being a computer programming, until they are presented the idea of a computer or what a program is.

This is a topic that rarely gets talked about on this forum. Our very own perception, self experience and memories can be tricked. Check out this story: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/oct/09/meredith-maran-father-abuse-false-memory Note that your personal experience is always recalled as something in the past, as it becomes a memory, when then later can become a belief. And your beliefs about what you experience and what just happened can be completely wrong! Mark Manson talks about this in one of his books that you shouldn't believe anything, including your own experiences and ideas!

I will paraphrase what was said in another thread about intuition. Intuition is your inner wisdom. It is the accumulation of your lifetime of knowledge and experience. Hence, it is usually right (unless you have had no life experience). This is usually expressed through your body as more of a feeling rather than a thought, that's how you know its intuition and not just conscious thinking.

Great suggestions in this thread I want to mirror what @Serotoninluv said, in learning about new perspectives and the human condition can do wonders for your maturity. This is why travelling can be so life changing and a huge recipe for growth and maturity. I would also suggest quality reading. That is from people who have developed a nuanced perspective or idea. I have wasted a lot of times in popular forums and media to learn that books are always substantially better for sharing a perspective and hence leading to growth in maturity.

I was happy when I started self-actualisation. I wasn't depressed, sad, lonely, or anything of that sort. I liked my life back then. I loved reading and came across a book that talked about meditation. They talked how they increased their productivity and other aspects of their life by a substantial amount. Always looking for an edge, I gave it a shot, and within weeks I started to feel the same effects. Then down the rabbit hole I went with all things spirituality. So I was happy back then, I am just happier now. Before I was like a delicious ice-cream, now with spirituality I am an ice-cream with sprinkles

Great post Leo. Victim mentality is just an sneaky ego defence to absolve taking responsibility for what you really want!

I talk about concepts, and if they want to know more I'll point them to Leo. Leo is good for people who are seekers, otherwise they will be put off with the long videos and complex subjects.

Intuition isn't something outside of you that is guiding you. Intuition comes from your subconscious mind. It is based on your experience and knowledge obtained throughout your life. Although this knowledge doesn't come to your conscious awareness, it influences your feelings and behaviour towards things, and it is much smarter and more powerful than your conscious mind. So usually it is a good idea to follow your intuition, especially in areas in which you have experience. However, in areas without any experience or knowledge, your intuition is usually pretty crap (as its based on little to no experience). For example, try to intuitively do physics, or rap, or draw, or do anything that you have no experience in, the results are pretty comical. Tsuki beat me to the chase and explained it much better above

@carlowillo I don't know much about creating growth on youtube, but I must say that I really enjoyed your video and encourage you to keep producing this high quality content!

Meaning is a human construction. Nothing inherently has meaning unless you give it meaning. Do animals think there is a meaning to life??? Meaning basically means it has value/utility towards a purpose. We chose these values, hence we choose what is meaningful. So yes, life is meaningless if you choose it to be that way. Or life can be also be meaningful if you choose to see it this way. The question is, do you want to choose nihilism and misery, or choose to make the most of this experience and live life fully in all its wonder and beauty.

Aspire for your success, not others. Success is doing the things that are fulfilling to you. The reason these why some of these celebrities are not happy is because they stopped doing what fulfils them, and instead starting chasing others ideas of success. Make sure you are doing the things that are fulfilling to you, and align with your values and principles in life. That makes you successful. Not the money or the fame. Also to note, as we mature and develop, our values and priorities change. What was fulfilling to you when you were 10 years old is vastly different to when you are 30 years old. Be willing to be flexible and honest with yourself if what you are doing now is inherently fulfilling, or is it chasing someone else idea (even your old self's idea) of success.

Before you can work on developing your self, first you need to ask the question “what is my self”. That is, you need to know what is the subject that needs to be worked upon. You can not work on something you don’t know about and aren’t aware of. This is why the first act of self-development is awareness. You need to become aware of your self, who you are, what are your values, what are your personality traits, innate strengths and weaknesses, etc. This process is time consuming, but should not be skipped, as it is fundamental to create a solid foundation for personal growth. When you question yourself and your fundamental beliefs and values, you will begin to find out why you are the way you are, and why you act the way you act. The next step is to challenge these beliefs and values. Search for other values and belief systems in the world they may lead to a more fulfilling life. Most of the time your original values would have been handed down to you either from your parents or society at large. Many of these values may not be true for you, they may not lead you to a life you truly want. You need to be true to yourself, look at yourself as you are now, and accept what values you hold and wish to pursue. From here you can establish your authentic pursuits, goals that you would like to achieve, purely for the sake of achieving them, and not to impress or satisfy anyone else’s expectations. By choosing what’s important to you, you start the journey of self-acceptance. It is through this self-acceptance that you begin to put yourself first in life, not in an egotistical way, but in a passionate way that aligns with your new found values. The more you embody this in action, the stronger your sense of self-love will become. You will love yourself because you care about yourself, your goals, and make time for yourself. It is only through this framework that real self-development begins. By aligning growth with what’s truly important to you. Otherwise you will be developing in areas that are not aligned with your interests, to please others and satisfy their wants for you. This is akin to the analogy of climbing up the ladder, getting up to the top, only to find out it was leaning against the wrong wall the whole time. Hence, self-acceptance needs to come before self-improvement. If you fail to accept yourself and be aware of where you are, you will be like a ship with no compass. So, take the time to find out what is truly important in life. Are you values and goals aligned with what will bring true fulfillment? Once you know what you are doing and where you are going, you will no longer care what other people think. Through growth you will find self-confidence like you never knew before. You are now on the path of a truly fulfilling life.

I am having a problem in figuring out a product I want to sell in starting a new business. I know that selling a product is one of the biggest areas for success in creating financial independence. No longer trading time for money, and all of that. However, I am a minimalist, who spends very little on materialistic goods. I am finding it hard to sell with integrity something that the market will value, if I myself don’t value it. To me, materialistic goods are false idols, they don’t lead to any real sense of life satisfaction or long-term fulfillment. Is this a mental block that I have, to justify not doing the hard work to make money? Perhaps some inner resistance to others wealth that is perpetrating limiting beliefs surrounding money? Could it just be that my consciousness is to high to have integrity in making money off others false beliefs in what will provide them happiness?

@tsuki Thank you for your reply Do you know of any examples of minimalists that follow the path you prescribe? I am finding it hard to find others with similar interests between minimalism and profiting off selling products.

My recommendation is not to worry about it too much! You will laugh about this all looking back. Infatuation is a funny thing, a gift from life that makes it all that much more interesting. You will miss it when you get older and become too serious Just keep living your life, doing your thing, and not come across too needy. Hang out with your mates, don't forego your work/exercise/hobbies for her, and just go with wherever the relationship takes you. If she wants you, she will make time for you and get in contact with you.

First of all, I want to congratulate you on pushing yourself and gaining some great experience. Keep it up! Eventually the length of the awkward phase will start to lessen, as you gain more confidence in what to say and how to present yourself. As @darind suggests, doing things that empower how you see yourself is crucially important too. By taking care of yourself (grooming, cleaning your room, dressing smart, etc), you show to yourself that you are worth it, you are attractive, and you are a person of value. This is why something like going to the gym is so powerful, it proves to yourself that you are worth that 1hr you spent at the gym, that you are worth investing time into, and that you are becoming more and more powerful (not just physically but mentally too!) In time, you will see yourself as someone who is inherently lovable. This is the 'self-love' or 'self-acceptance' that people frequently talk about. Once you embody this stage fully, your anxiety in social situations will lessen, as there is no threat to be anxious of. No matter the circumstance or consequence, at the end of the day you are still whole. But for now, keep doing what you are doing. This is a long journey, so don't expect results to come quickly. Take your time, there is no rush. When you are 70 years old in the year 2070 or whatever, it wouldn't matter if you overcome your social anxiety in the year 2019 or the year 2020 or the year 2025! Just keep consistent, results will come.

Great video, thank you for sharing. I find a lot of our mental health problems are a combination of both psychological AND physical/environmental. That's why it is so crucial to have mentors and a strong supportive social environment to truly flourish in life. Meditation, positive psychology, or antidepressants alone won't lead you to happiness and life satisfaction.

Yes, low self-esteem can make you selfish. People with low-self esteem come from a place of neediness. Because they don't feel validated in themselves, they are needy for the attention and validation by others. This often manifests in self-judgement and self-focus, not acting with authenticity or integrity, because you are wanting others to like you and give you the approval you seek. This constriction in your actions prevents any deep connection, and hence doesn't create a good environment for others. By trying to come off 'likeable', you come off as rigid and boring, ironically making the person like you less and perhaps not want to spend time with you. Hence low self-esteem prevents you coming from a place of love and providing anything meaningful to others. That lack of agency you feel is a component of self-esteem, called self-responsibility. It may be hard for you now, but an important part of self-esteem is doing what is in your power to take control of your life in ways that are meaningful to you. If you haven't already read Nathaniel Brandens book "The 6 Pillars of Self-Esteem", then I highly recommend it. He answers many of the questions about self-esteem far better than anywhere else I have read, including this forum.