Aquarius

I need some advice from some older people of what I should focus on now that I am almost 26 years old. I feel my life is really empty because I am unemployed but I cannot get employed because I dont have any experience in any field, and I dont have the education either at least not yet. I havent gone to university because I failed my high school bachelors. I can retake it any summer but all that free time is shit still. Yes I will study, but then again so many free time.... All I do is read and read and read. I read all kinds of random books I find. I think I should focus more on self help books. I bought Leos book list years ago. Never really used it idk i just forgot, dont be hard on me.. I recently bought some philosophy and politics books, but I dont know how useful will they be long term. I usually read novels for young women like me. You will know the kind. I think I deserve more from life then just wake up, eat, read, listen to music, eat again, and sleep. And on repeat. What should I do with all this time on my hands? Should I continue my art and try to become an artist? I am not that passionate about it anymore... Also as a side note I dont know if I ever will get employed because I suffer from mental illness and because I take medication I cannot work properly. I do volunteering stuff sometimes. But I dont want to end up like my mother. She is also on handicap money and has a lot of free time and she would rather work but now its too late for her.

It helps drill it in your mind if you watch the video... but if you are working on yourself then whatever works best for you is good

You will be brainwashed by them into total believing of that stuff, which is ideology. And all ideology is bad on a fundamental level. You will be one of those obsessed god fearing individuals who know every verse from their bible, trying to convert everyone you know, knowing no freedom for the cost of being part of a religious community.

I think there is a difference between Einstein level of thinking, or Tesla level of thinking, or Osho level of thinking, or the thinking of a random human say he's not a complete retard but someone that is just an average man or woman. The difference is that the genius develops his mental faculty, but the average man or woman does not care. We can see this in intellectual people, they usually are an avid reader, they like developing their intellect, they study that of which interests them, they contemplate to the level of overthinking and they care about their intellect. Their mind is their greatest weapon or tool. The average or below average low intellect people care about satisfaction of their basic needs and they do not care further. A low intellect woman will care about nonsense like celebs, social media, instagram praise, getting a man to care of her and taking care of her family, and all the drama that goes on with the family and between families. Low intellect women will complain that they are fat, while checking their butt in the mirror ten times a day. They will start drama on every little thing without thinking it through by themselves. Their head is empty and their mouth never shut. A low intellect man will do drugs as a coping mechanism to his problems, because he is suffering. He will get overweight because he is running to food as his comfort, instead of going to the gym. He will idolize a woman instead of approaching hundreds, and that woman probably friendzoned him at the beginning. An intellectual man or woman will read, do self help, take care of their health because they know that's important. They will focus on education, they will get a degree and make major changes in the field. Later becoming great masters in their field. And their genius will revolutionize the world. That's why we don't see Einsteins in our world, because they all have a phone in their hand. Instant gratification has made a zombie nation...

We can measure intelligence by IQ, but even that is a manmade system. Someone living in a country area might have an IQ of 35, and I've known someone like that, but they could have talents, they could have abilities like taking care of cow or the crops, which a philosopher with a diploma cannot do. They could have a talent in art. Or they could be intelligent in religion sense and understand God from their own subjective experience with their God. I don't think anyone is dumb, just misguided by society, their friends, their family, their peers. We all have infinite potential, even the mentally severely ill like autists can learn basic things, I mean a retard is dumb? No, he is subject to his own condition. But his body is infinitely intelligent and working properly, taking protein and sugar everywhere it needs and all that. So his mind is dumb but his body has infinite intelligence?

I often dream about the future and it happens. It's insignificant things but they happen in real life. Once I was dreaming that I was travelling and eating a sandwich with a blonde guy in another city. Two years later the exact scenario happened.

A few questions to ask yourself What's the point? What are you trying to achieve? Ask yourself if you want to become a philosophist because of someone inspiring you and you wanting to be like them or embody their lifestyle or life choices, such as becoming like Leo and taking his example. There is nothing wrong with that, but ask yourself if you are being deceived into something that is nonsensical. What is your point in becoming a philosophist, and is it because you are part of a forum where people do philosophical thinking? Are you really interested in it or are you just being led into it by the people you watch and media you consume? That's something really serious to consider. It happened to me too that I really wanted to be an astrologer and tarot mystic because I saw someone doing mediumship live on camera and it intrigued me so much that I started doing just that. I had my cards and I was making videos just like the person, but I did not have the skills and gifts that she possessed and I constantly felt like I was faking it for the views and that I didn't contribute to the community at large. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy watching videos of tarot mediumship or giving personal advice based on intuition sometimes, but I realised that I wanted to be like that person because she had something that I could not have. Some people are born with a calling for certain positions and sometimes you cannot fake something till you make it or be like them. So based on this, maybe you are doing the same, you watch Leo videos and want to be like him because he is charming and his way of living excites you. And I could be wrong but you still have to consider this. Maybe you genuinely enjoy philisophy, but if you want to become someone who does it for a living you have to do academical training and, or university training to become one. Or write a book and sell it and be a writer or make a podcast or be someone influential. First of all the sad truth is that you still have to make a living. Or you could have a job and do philosophical thinking on the side, as your personal enjoyment. Just know the reasons why you are doing it in the first place. Don't do it just because others are doing it.

I know but was it something serious or bad?

I am making this journal to keep track of my weight loss progress and my other body modifications that I am working on with workout and other methods. I figured it's better if I have people see that I am accountable and this will motivate me. I will try not to overshare my progress, but there are some things that I want to note down like sizes and such. I don't have a weight measuring device right now.

Okay so this thread is getting useless and boring so I assume I should give some info on my methods I literally need to start exercising more, right now I only use binaural beats for my body shaping, from frequency wizard and subliminal warlock I will add affirmations to my routine For those questioning this method it works, your mind can shape your body. I've been doing this for years for other things I already do about 10k steps daily, I want to up it to 15k and take it more seriously I probably do more steps as I can't have my phone all the time with me I will try waist massages daily for 30 minutes I was thinking of buying a corset trainer not sure (next month maybe) I forgot to mention but my face is now 16.7 cm I will do the following exercises for a week then update: 75 squats, 50 situps, 30 kneeling pushups, 1 minute whole body stretch, 25 lunges each leg (so 2x, that means 50), 2 minute high knee running in place, 60 long arm rotations (idk the name of this exercise so just note to self), 60 side stretches, 40 wide leg squats, 30 body rotations alternating I will add +5 to each exercise every day till next Saturday, or 20 seconds where applicable I will play my binaural playlist for 2 hours each day

Okay, so I was doing my body changing stuffs and now my hips are 109 cm sometimes 110, I also gained some weight as I desired my waist is 77 my bust is 98

Did I miss something here? lmao

female

Ok, so I'll give you guys some story-time thing so that you can connect more to the storyline and stuff. I have a few concerns and questions about the nature of this relationship, and I think you'll see why.. I want some advice from mature minded people, I don't want anyone being rude or to disrespect my relationship. I am happy with it, sort of, but I always look for long-term relations, and I want this to work, and I am willing to work on it for it to work. I am a generally patient person, one could say overly patient and hopeful, so sometimes I will work on something even if it's not worth it in the long run simply because I am always hoping for results to play out a certain way with a certain type o persistence and resilience. I have lots of interests, despite being an introvert by nature. I have many talents and hobbies, for example I love reading books on literally anything, particularly nonfiction interests me, occasionally interesting novels. I love buddhism and hinduism books most lately. I love intelectual debates and talking about the stuff that really matters in life, I love diving deep on all kinds of interesting topics and dissect them and analyze things, i love knowledge and I appreciate intelectual people and those who love to find meaning in things and have a childlike curiosity and wonder towards stuff in life. I rarely let people get close to me emotionally. I am modest and quiet, I take what I get and do not expect much from people. I usually have low self-esteem, despite seeing the good in myself. I enjoy time alone in contemplation, meditation and lecture. I am unemployed currently for a couple years now, but it has not deprived me of anything vital, except for the unpleasantness of sometimes being asked what I work, then I just brush it off like oh I'm just an artist or working on side projects or just telling them I live with my parents still and swallow all the bitter shame of being a slightly dysfunctional adult at almost 25 years old. So I felt kinda lonely, disturbed with vivid fantasies on my mind about relationship goals and whatnot, and I was sad. I was thinking about how I didn't really talk to people in the last half year except like twice in text message on social media. I even consulted tarot about potential relationship possibilities, they seemed kinda positive but I was skeptic. One lady said I will meet someone special in 6 days, and it happened exactly like that. There is a dating option on social media and I signed up and browsed guys that I liked. I got like 35 likes in 1 day, I filtered out and liked back whomever I found I could naturally vibe with by looking at their given info on the dating thingy, and I talked to 3 of them. The first one I talked to seemed to have tons of hot girls on his social media link he provided, so I ghosted him. He probably adds every girl and I don't want someone unstable like that. The second person I talked to like 1 and a half days, but he responded very difficultly, he avoided my questions and after a few infos exchanged between us like simple insignificant things for ex, zodiac sign, hobbies, interests, age, photos etc..he kept talking about me "spreading my legs" for him, like that statement alone is so weird for me, he could just said sex or fuck or anything else, it was a weird vibe. I didn't have much hope for someone who apparently just want to get laid at first date without knowing like anything about the other person or without having a particular emotional bond, so I stopped talking to him now, I just don't feel like we get along well, I was looking for something more intimate and nice. Then I decided to look at the people on my 7 or so people list of matches and I instantly felt connected to some cutie, I messaged him, he texted back, we exchanged social media and started talking FOR HOURS. Like nonstop, we connected so well, he was very nice and kind, he kinda felt like talking about more sexual topics so I went along with it and talked about that because we were literally vibin and felt comfortable with him. We exchanged some nudes, talked about about our desires and stuff.. idk it felt kinda liberating in a weird sort of way? He said he likes me and I like him too, we decided to start a relationship, like a long distance relationship. I showed him my art, some of my favourite books, he asked me to draw him something tomorrow, and generally just talked about sex. He keeps sending me these naked pictures of him, or videos of him ejaculating. It kinda bothers me because I am more of a sapiosexual, I prefer intelligent conversations rather than guys sending me nudes and telling me stuff like they want me and stuff. Of course, it feels lovely to be appreciated, loved, cherished, wanted, craved and even desired by another human being. It's not that, I just wish we would have more in common, but he is a very nice person and I have high hopes for him, and I want to make this work, even if short term. List of my concerns: - Can we have a stable relationship if we only talk about sexual topics? - Should I open up to him about wanting to talk about various topics I am interested in and try and persuade him to like those things too in the long run, or just accept him and what he offers, like nudes, sexuality, etc.? - Can a long distance relationship work long-term? He lives in the same country. - What are some basic topics related to sexuality that can make our conversations less one-sided and more rich and varied? - He is 4 years younger than me, could that be a problem in certain aspects? If no, why? If yes, why? - I have a feeling of constant lack in the relationship, despite being in it for 1 day.. I cannot put my finger on it or say what it is, because I like him but something is missing and I cannot tell what. What does this mean and is it common? - Is it normal to start relationships this fast, like within knowing each other virtually on the internet just for 1 day? - What should I expect from him? What should I not expect from him? - He's a virgin, I noticed virgins oversexualize things... how can I make it work between us? - Is nudes, sexuality and sexchat the basis of most modern internet relationships or should I worry? - I want to make him happy, but I also want to elevate him and teach him stuff like metaphysics and spirituality. How can I do it most gently, if at all I should? - How do I open up sexually after not being with someone for more than 8 months? All my relationships feel weird, I am hard to open up sexually. I am not sexually repulsed or anything, but I want emotional bonding above raw carnal desires. How can I translate this to his terms, so that the relationship goes smoothly? - I know it's kinda early to ask all these questions, but I rarely get along with someone like this. Last question: what are the basic needs for both parties in a relationship that is long-distance? What spices up a relationship to take it on the next level (possibly not now, but in the coming weeks or months?) - Finally, if you feel like giving me advice or you noticed something I didnt and wanna point it out, feel free to do so! All imput is greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading my long stack of utter trash, if you feel like skipping the first two paragraphs you can do so and just read the last one and the questions.

just asking cause i can control myself and induce any state i am very sad lately what do you guys think?

Make sure you're safe. And if you have schizophrenia I don't recommend drugs.

Update for yesterday bust 94 waist 78.5 lower belly 89 hips 103.5

Bust - 98 Waist - 82 Lower belly - 96 Hips - 107 Shoulder length - 40 Arm length - 55 Leg length - aprox. 102 Height - 178 Fingers - 9 Forehead - 5 Face - 19 x 11.5 Feet - 24.5

None because I stopped dating. I needed a break. When you try to date someone you always want to make a good impression and even impress the person and it's just too much work for me in my opinion. I am not in that state of mind to date anymore. Obviously I need to work harder and better on myself before I start dating again. I don't want to date with an emotional baggage disturbing the relationship. I have other priorities right now like getting a job or taking care of my physical and mental health.

I had been diagnosed with schizophrenia before, but it was by a doctor who claimed every patient of hers is schizophrenic. I think she wanted to put me on government money that's why she did it, and she needed an excuse for that. I refused and went to someone else. My newest diagnosis is meditative states and obsessive thinking/acting. OCD basically.

I don't have that problem anymore since now I sleep and these states decreased. I am still highly imaginative but since I get more than 7-8 hours of sleep at night I am better. I imagine I was just better connected to my intuitive side. I don't see those states as bad or harmful, I just felt like tripping, having high good energy that's all. Maybe went a bit crazy about some imaginations of mine, but nothing bad. I don't have those states anymore even when I try to achieve them. I try to be a down to earth person. I never smoked weed, so I cannot comment on that part. Yes relationships can be difficult and always remember it's 2 of you involved so don't do everything alone, idk if it makes sense the way I express this. Casual. I also stopped working with most of them because I heard you can get bad side effects without proper diksha and guidance with a guru. I might try to get a guru later on in life and see what he has to say about all of this but idk how you get a guru. I heard they find you when needed.

Yes.

Yes sorry just a quick post and I wanted clarification for myself mainly, and to know if anyone experiences these states of highly imaginative fantasy. I do understand psychedelics make a large impact on the mind. I am not gonna claim I have had that big of psychedelic states, but when I don't sleep for 3 days I would see and hear things people normally don't see or hear. I also worked with godesses from the Hindu culture, like Dhumavati, Maheshvari, Chinnamasta, Varahi and others, while meditating, dancing. And I'm constantly meditating and having meditative states, but nowadays I tend to focus more on my creative work and mental health - sometimes I combine both, write articles, draw, sketch, paint. I tend to value my time more nowadays. Sadness came because of stress related to relationships. I wrote various posts detailing what happened. I've been hospitalized lately and on the paper it said severe insomnia, anxiety, obsessive compulsive behavior and thinking and meditative states. Even telepathy was mentioned. I try to give as much detail possible if you guys need it, but this post was mainly to see if others trip or have highly imaginative states without psychedelics. I tried DMT meditations from youtube, and they're definitely real, just maybe not that strong. I am not that confused anymore.

Hey guys, it's been a while since I was online. If I remember correctly, I left this website/forum, because I considered it a cult and/or toxic. I think I also told Leo to delete my account on some thread and I'm glad he didn't. He is a great and considerate and patient person, and he has all my appreciation for it. Maybe my mind is just not inclined towards the new approaches he has taken lately, but I am trying to evolve spiritually and mentally and to emotionally mature, so I want to first of all say sorry that I called his site a cult and whatnot or if I was rude lately. Please forgive me Leo. You were a great stepping stone in my development and there are few people who are wise like you and do things so selflessly for the community around them. I truly consider you having an important and groundbaking message to give to humanity. Maybe I do not agree with your worldview, but we all have unique perspectives after all, and you provided both value and pain in my life, both was necessary for my personal growth and I appreciate you for that too. For those reading this, happy New Year and Merry Christmas in advance. I hope everyone and your loved ones are ok, looking forward to connect to likeminded individuals again. I feel there is a great need for growth in me lately, and I wish to seek advice on various aspects of day-to-day reality. Glad to be back again, I actually have lots of stuff to work on. Will post on respective forum sections.

To answer OP's question, I also don't like these kink-related stuff that are kinda dirty and stuff. Sure, they have their beauty too if you are eager to see it. Animalistic, raw, aggressive can be beautiful too, for example if you use it to liberate and uninhibit yourself. For me, the idea of beautiful sex is finding deep connection with someone, strong clear communications between those involved, and also honoring and respecting each other's body and boundaries. I think respect is the most beautiful thing that can be developed in relationships. Of course you could argue that beautiful sex is this and that. Maybe engaging all the senses, including hearing, taste and smell. Making it as pleasant and comfortable as possible for both.