NoSelfSelf

Approach as much as you need that gets you closer to your end goal.Opener doesnt matter you could say anything but intent matters...

More context? It could actually mean you are improving alot but dont realize it until its passed...

@Something Funny Yeah theres a trick to it...its all about the place its coming from you are either coming there to chase and react to girl or you are going there to make her chase and care more by showing how awesome guy you are vs going there to prove you are an awesome guy(you chasing to get her and proving it)...

There is this thing called "Buyer vs Seller Frame" you are coming from the place of a seller how can i do something to impress or show im good enough where buyer comes from a place im awesome how can this person fit in my life does she has what i want..

@Insightful27 Great queastion btw you pinpointed the worst problem with going developing social skills...the problem is that self-help and old pick up is based on developing your fasade,bulding techniques,what you gonna say(pickup lines) but thats an old paradigm the paradigm of doing...you basically scam people to like you, what you wanna become is social master where you start to drop your constructed front you made(because you think your true self is not good enough) removing the things that is blocking your true you(alot of inner work that cant explain here) so basically if you care what other think if you try to say certen things to push emotional buttons, looking for approval trying to get something from them you are basically scamming people...but showing your true self and wide range of your true personality thats where they will like you or not and you wont be caring what they think because its geniuenly you...and your experiences will be genuene and true while the experiences from using techniques etc(you use them at right time automatically not strategizing) is gonna be not sustainable etc.

@FromSweden yeah you are just happy by itself no conditions required but to be empty of ego/conditioning if you know what i mean....

Materialism=temporary happiness Spirituality=permenent happiness

Best what i found is not a book its a course by rsd julien highvibecommunication... its whats needed to get to deep relationship ...it has some videos now i remmeber,on going deeper in relationships but didnt watch it twice to remember (yet)...and in bonus if you are not familiar they recommend book crucial conversations that they say is soooo important for deeper relationships....

@Kamo Pros:you become more concious,have a better map for life,can see whats higher perspective etc. Cons:you get lost in your imagination,you have all this knowledge but your life looks the same,hiding behinde concepts not taking action,could produce more clutter in mind worsen mood(in my opinion) etc.

Plesently surprised by the topic not too shabby ??

@Grant6 Yeah approval is an inner game in a sense when you start being true to yourself and not hiding behinde your masks then you wont be needing approval but thats also needed to be practiced with people...authentic non people pleaser =being true to yourself and nobody elses opinions matter because you are who you are(more than good enough)your opinions dont need to be approved at that point you are grounded in truth of who you are as a person @Ulax ?

You can still do pick up without doing pick up ...going to events or places and approch group of people and strike up conversations and you can work on being more authentic with those people...breaking up that inner resistence and becoming more real and authentic.Watch yourself when you are trying to pick words that would appeal to other rather express whats really going on inside you in calibratet way ..meaning reading social situation... you can pick something challenging and breaking through that like speaking in front of a crowd...

Thats nature of the mind:progressing,regressing feeling joy feeling depressed you see the pattern ?Its unstable and temporery you can only use "let go" technique or put focus on something else thats all i can say from limited information...

Like people say you read 5 pages and if theres something valuable in those 5 pages you go straight to practice it in real life...reading and doing nothing produces only conceptual knowing...

Im the same im forcing myself to engage in social activities and it hurts my motivation to do pick up ?

If you wanna fake it best way is when you talk to her you say things that make you feel good not her, coming to her not to do something to get her approval, rather you come there to offer something about yourself (giving something rather than taking its an energy).. example like: hey! you seem interesting do you know what crazy happend to me..insert something some story...(just an example) And to really not be needy its an inner work you do with action you dont wait to become non needy...

I would say theres some kind of softness feeling to it,nurturing soothing experience that doesnt force you into feminine but encourge the masculine...but on the other hand making you go out of logic to fun unlogical dance of relaxation from solving problems...im getting phoetical over here ?

Your "evidence" is realizing the nature of reality

@Vivaldo im more of a mr. steal yo words than mr.steal yo girl ?

What you doing is banging your head againts the wall distracting yourself from working to be attractive, to attract that type of girl you desire which is not an easy task, so you get your fix from engaging in emotional phantasy that gives you some low level satisfaction and in the end you feel more unworthy ...

@Leo Gura If you see that a girl is into you why not just ask for sex directly ?

Yeah its attachment to life as a dream seeing that its not,seeing what it actually is(truth of it) ffreaks you out because you want to experience dream more i think thats it(from my experience)...

@Preety_India Man are used sexually all the time some girls will use a guy for a kiss or sex and thats what i heared from girls..i dont get how a guy is sexually objectifing a women if hes just wanting sex and not relationship while you want a relationship and because of that you feel sexually objectified its seems to me from understanding im having(which is not big atm)...i mean if a girl is down for sex only how would i know if i dont ask her?

@Michal__ thats potential emotional trauma right there if you say that after sex ?

You should have asked that from the start now its little weird and probably wont work i dont know... i dont get comments here why you are getting upset with upfront approach its way better you dont get manipulated and see if you are on same page i dont get it ,some people just want to enjoy sex for the sake of having sex its way more emotionally abusive to act as someone that wants to be in a relationship and then proceed to do it just for sex which most of the guys do its weird?...