Jamie Universe

@martin_malin It seems like a really strong force is driving the denial of his actions, if were to speculate on what would cure it, I would compare it to getting enlightened, meditate everyday at first aiming for nirvana and in a sense in-denial that your actually killing yourself vs. do some opposing force to narcissism everyday aiming to be the best but in denial that your actually trying to solve it. Cortex did say he was meditating, but then there's that whole conversation about him/her not having an ego, who knows maybe even a affirmation would work. Thoughts? I want to keep this thread going

@Ingit it kind of sounds like an existential crisis, I could totally be wrong I don't know you well enough or know enough about this. But just incase its an existential crisis, just know you'll come to terms with it.

For social anxiety I might suggest an affirmation like "I am comfortable in social situations" or something like that As the technique goes, 5 minutes every day for 3 months, however I've done 2 affirmations at only a month and got pretty good results. You can decide how long you want to do the affirmation for by judging your results every day. Meaning if after 1 month you see yourself being comfortable in social situations then you can stop, but the longer you go the more you get out of it. The second video I sent I stopped short after 1 month for a reason I forgot, and I somewhat regret doing that. watch the first video for sure, there's important warnings/tips etc.

It sounds to me like your just not interested in what those other people are talking about. Whenever adults talk to me its mostly just family or family friends asking me about school or something like that, and it can definetly get boring or repetitive. Solution - Find people with similar interests or experiences Also I've had some social anxiety, and still do. And as far as the being awkward thing goes, at some point this year my mind almost just stopped caring entirely about little awkward things. You should do an affirmation for that if your not already, it can be really helpful. Just check out some of Leo's video on "affirmations" and "how to not care what people think of you" I can also send links for those videos if you want them. Affirmations have helped me a lot with social anxiety.

@Viking If you took every sentence you wrote and replaced it with the exact opposite that would be me. I'm gay and I've also had that exact same experience, the only difference is that I blamed it on different things. Honestly you'll be fine. I don't know about you. But with me, my mind does that all the time, where it wanders on some stupid repetitive thought loop on some dumb topic it knows better not to worry on. I once thought I was racist, but then it went away. What I usually do, is I mercilessly argue with my mind saying its a dumb topic and argue the fuck out of it. That's comforting, but if you want a dead on solution, I suggest mindfulness as a daily practice. But also if you ever notice yourself thinking about something negative like that, just try and focus in the present moment and don't let your mind argue.

@RendHeaven at least we have the internet

We are all Leo, and Leo is us, all Leo's are one Sorry bad joke

What meditation are you doing? Because you might want to consider Do-Nothing meditation, its a form of meditation that's not dependent of focus (at least from my experience I could be wrong). But rather is just meant to accept the present moment. Either way de-focusing is bound to happen, If bad emotions arise work through those.

We have infinity, and we have whole numbers like 1, 2, 3.... If you have some many of your whole numbers you'll eventually reach an infinite amount. But if you notice the are between 1 and 2 for example is made of infinity. cuz 1 - 1.1 - 1.01 - 1.001 there's no limit to how many zeros I can add behind that decimal point aka infinity. So yea I think this is a strange loop because you get infinity from itself?...

I'm curious, I feel like Leo softly mentioned that there's some sort of tie in with spiral dynamics and enlightenment?...

"I seriously go insane if I dont do a step towards working life" I remember feeling that, I feel so bad for you that's the worse. And what @zoey101 said is your solution. For me it pretty much ended when I started daily meditation and got unaddicted to video games. I've felt and thought almost the same thing with my mom 1-2 years ago (except with a different context), if it were me I would think of your skills, anything you think you might be interested in, and then maybe get a part time job or some job that's not time consuming. And manage to aim towards a living arrangement where your mom isn't barking at you, and you have free time to work and think about what you actually want to do, also time to work on yourself, and etc. If your at all like me, you probably need alone time to think.

I contemplated on mediation once, and I sort of had this insight. And from what I'm reading, maybe its true? Its.. "During the process of meditation your becoming what your focusing on" or rather what your practicing to be aware of is where your becoming conscious or more aware of. Although I don't know how I apply this to do-nothing meditation, since your not really focusing in do-nothing. maybe by doing nothing your letting your mind into a state that doesn't include 'stuff' so it becomes nothing instead? Please correct me if I'm wrong. I'm starting to realize meditation is even more confusing than I though D:

Maybe a sub forum for mega threads?

Yea that's what it feels like mostly. I've been doing do-nothing for a while and I wanted to try out more mindfulness, I'll try and get on that soon. Thanks! @NoSelfSelf I have fairly good social skills, though by weird social thing, It could mean jealousy over something insanely dumb, or fretting about an awkward moment in the past, etc.

Basically what happens is some weird social thing will happen in my life, and I cannot stop thinking about it, and it terrorizes me. Depending on the situation it can happen multiple times a day for hours, or maybe not at all. It can also happen with people, and is brought up every time I talk with them, I've also gotten over those weird things with people. I'm not sure what the root cause is, but I'm guessing it has something to do with placing a heavy importance on social stuff, or fears of being open in some ways. I can also go into more detail if that helps.

Maybe try do-nothing meditation as a supplement. For me with do-nothing I manage through the bad sessions because apart of the technique is to 'accept everything' and I accept the pain in my body or whatever resistance. Otherwise try and just change your mental state with stimuli or some form of distraction. Maybe punch a pillow, dance really fucking hard. engage in a conversation, eat a banana. Notice when and how you get out of those depressing states, what's happening in your mind? If your just feeling bad, you could also try and write your thoughts out, or just complain to yourself. I have over a 100-300 page journal of me just complaining, and it works like 98% of the time or something.

I got hyped up with your intelligence episode. I kind of remember you saying you would make a video on it I think?... Anyways just expressing my enthusiasm.

@Faceless @B_Naz @robdl Thanks!

So as far as dissolving ego and reaching higher consciousness. I come across this thing of stuff considered egoic, for example if I choose and actively try and stop criticizing people, is that dissolving ego? I mean I think criticizing is a bad idea in general, but does it help at all? I feel like this is an important distinction to make.

I've done affirmations and its helped me a lot, I have tons of confidence and other stuff now. Also something along the line made me a ton happier, maybe a sense of purpose, or meditation?

try it no 100% guarantee though

1) there's always a reason for depression, it can be something happening in her life, or some mental framework / belief about life, it could even be some weird chemistry thing for all I know. But there's something, maybe her reasons for depression are because of self-esteem issues, or maybe she believes that every thing that is good about her world (you) is temporary and might be taken away. These are all just guesses, if you care about this you need to communicate with her, figure out what she thinks about all of this on a personal level, and even though that can be an awkward area to go too, if its suicide, its important you go there. 2) for self-esteem issue I recommend this video Otherwise there's a ton of information out there on the internet about self-esteem.

O shit that's pretty cool

@WaterfallMachine In your mind you hold yourself as 'high' just tell yourself, that by saying you are 'high' your actually a lot 'lower' and argue with yourself that your actually a lot lower. I think it might've worked for me, but I'm not 100% sure.