Jamie Universe

I've been trying to understand the first initial spark for creativity, and thoughts, etc. not neccesarily the cause but how something can change, and I feel like there's something deep there. On one hand it would feel like if you had PTSD you wouldn't be happy until you fix it, but the action of fixing it is whats important, thats what making things move and happen, where does that drive come from? For me sometimes its been something's super horrible has happened and you decide then that you need to fix it, other times it just may be easier to get through those blockades for whatever reason. Anyways, In all doubt, I would say its best to seek to understand yourself, research, etc. otherwise I just try to wiggle my way to freedom every time I'm trying to get motivated, also not very effective might I add (I'm to lazy).

@Serotoninluvsecond that, but it sounds to me like you're also addicted to him, and everything he 'gives' you. I can understand the lack of motivation, please text your family, any friends, this story doesn't end with all your problems magically fixing themselves as much as I hate to say it, but on the other hand, 1 text can go a long way in motivating yourself. Every little action you make against the problem counts, and he is the problem, make that clear to yourself, if this is where you truly want to be for the rest of your life then tell yourself that, but listen to that voice that made you write this post and is always in the back of your mind. if its literally just a "I need to fucking change" right before you go to bed, than its 1 win for you, but the more the better until eventually you solve your own problems, start at where your at, do what you can.

No problem

I have similair problems, and though I can't be much help, as far as getting emotionally motivated towards a goal, I find it helps if you emphasize to yourself that what your imagining could be your life, literally just tell yourself "this could be you!" because then I bring that imagination to reality in the sense that I consider that imagination a possible future and not just for fun. As far as details though, maybe just write out your vision, then read back the details you wrote down, and don't try to imagine 'the perfect vision' I am familiar with the "intense emotional vision" but on the first try, do what you can, and then work on it like a muscle. and like working out, try and push and challenge what you can and can't imagine.

@winterknightthanks!

@winterknight How does thinking or reading books about enlightenment very disciplined, help me on the path? Or could I literally just sit on a couch a meditate 24/7 and be fine?

we all hold a relationship in our mind with well known companies, so I guess that image I have is them story telling? interesting.

looks really cool!

I just watched a documentary called Mission Blue about Sylvia a Earle. (and stick with me here I swear this is going somewhere). Who if you dont know, is a huge advocate for the oceans and sustaining them. people interviewing her commented that she was unlike most others people have seen, that she was just so passionate, they also asked her if she would ever want to just take a break. She responded with "If a baby were falling out of a tall building, and you could save it just by putting your arms out and catching it, you wouldn't just take a break while that was happening" And I was also thinking about how Leo was explaining once you had mystical experiences, you could really appreciate this work, and you got industrial grade meditation habits, not the easy-going way of stage green. So I guess what I'm pointing at here, is the direct experience aspect of this, and how it does stuff to you. But I'm also wondering how contemplation ties in with this, because contemplation as far as I've done it (not very much) your tying belief (at least in the beginning stages), with direct experience. anyways not really any specific question, just a random story. Any thoughts / etc.?

@Gabriel AntonioI can agree, but I'm also wondering if that applies with meditation retreats or other areas where (unless there's a better way) pain is the way to no pain.

I've done what you've done in this post, except mine is (I'm pretty sure) over 300+ pages at this point from ranting. If you don't know where to start, then thats whats good about talking to yourself, you feel better, and your communicating with what needs to be more than an 2 second thought at breakfast. Also while doing this, I find it helpful to give yourself some hope. Like yes X, Y, and Z are all fucked up horribly, but at what point did I decide those were going to stop me? Your already doing awesome at it, with things like I usually start off with ranting, going into details, sometimes I just keep caps lock on and swear, but usually end with some hope. And when you communicate with yourself, and intellectual get smarter on the issues that affect you, you'll end up going through life with extreme resiliency.

emotions can be genetic, it can also be mental, and you know yourself personally, so ask yourself if mental factors could be a solution, and/or if all this pain is arising from some hidden reason. to give some contrast, I feel similair right now (for a reason I have to yet to find), and I'm a dude. I'm angry a lot more, little things are giving me a crisis, my sleep patterns are also kind of out of whack, and I'm craving distractions, I feel like its because I was out of my meditation habit for a while and I got back on track, but I don't know exactly. If you want my advice, don't let this stop your self-actualization, let it cause it. work from where your at, if you can't work, thats your front most problem to deal with.

I thought this through and I've found a reason to do more. I feel like I can't choose between one, so I'm not. My life purpose is going to be plural, after all working towards something is what creates the meaning, and there's not exactly one thing I'm trying to work towards. So I figure your life doesn't have to just have one purpose you can just make it up, as long as its a goal you care about. (Though I could be wrong, and live a miserable life because of this.)

I'm at a dilemma where preparing for college is becoming imminent, a part of me wants to do art related things, not sure what exactly, maybe a writer, maybe some sort of theatre job, but apart of me also realizes that doing arts (even though thats what I want to do) is probably a bad idea, that knowing myself I will probably end up hurting a lot, though enjoying my job maybe, and also another part of me wants to self-actualize, get enlightened, and do that stuff. I could maybe do both, but can you really have 2 life purposes? I for sure want to see and do the actualization/spiritual path, I feel its to important to leave at this point, its one of the few things I consider that can be really meaningful to my life. But no job related to self-actualization interests me, I don't really want to become a teacher, unless there's some niche that Leo hasn't covered that I can fill, but that doesn't overly motivate me. I feel like I should merge the two somehow, but don't really know how, any advice? Is it better to design my own type of job, or try for well-known type of careers? Also what other kind of jobs are related to self-actualization/spirituality that can allow me to also grow in those areas as well as get money from it?

What you are thinking isn't spiritual knowledge, it is (maybe true) facts, or maybe cultural stigma about suppressing emotions. Question and argue with the belief that your suppressing emotions by running away, I've told many people deep stuff by text, because I was afraid to say it to them in person, and I feel no sort of 'suppressed emotion feelings' but even if there is suppression, you can always do shamanic breathing techniques. Either way sometimes dysfunctional relationships are fine if their temporary, but if you made a post because it bothered you, then maybe you want to change it? If anything stops you from changing it, question that and your belief system, start changing your thinking to how you want it (e.g - I can and I will tell this person how I actually feel vs. I don't think I can confront this person in anyway). Maybe do an affirmation if you feel the need too.

no problem

For me you have to build up to it. First just communicate with yourself, whatever you know is the correct arguement, just question yourself why your holding back, maybe an affirmation would help too.

I won't get into details but basically every several months something new and horrible happens, and I'm not at the point where it feels like there's little left for me to do anything with anymore. I'm incredibly resilient somehow, but its doesn't feel like resiliency any more if feels like I've lost the ability to give myself hope. And thats not entirely true, I'm writing this now because I have hope for the future. but the problem is that, I keep involving myself in social interactions that fuck me over really hard often. I'm a huge ass push-over and I don't know how to make myself be mean, I could do an affirmation but I don't want to and I won't even try because of that. And I don't know if thats even the best option for me really. I want 2 things to conquer the social terrain inside myself so that I don't have to die all the time or/and hopefully dwindle out my communication with people, because I'm to friendly and make to many friends which burns on the inside. (I just want to be alone at this point.)

either tell your friend to stop being an asshole, or stop being friends with them. Or if your passive aggressive like me, then just stop feeding into your relationship with him by maybe not responding to verbal abuse, or stand your ground if you need too.

I see attaining enlightenment as known vs. unknown fate. Like learning math, it seems so simple 1+1=2 right? The enlightenment equivalent may be, a person thinking that way about calculus to a kindergartener, By chance you understand the math problem, someone points it out to you, you listen, sometimes it takes lots of details to understand and do the math problem for yourself, but also if you maybe are a visual learner, or can't learn from the teachers POV and way of explaining, you will try different approaches and eventually it will click. What I mean is - The future is unknown, but probability is almost the proccess of it coming known.

yep that sounds like what I'm doing basically.

no one responded so I was forced to make myself do a bunch of affirmations, if anyone has experienced something similair, or stories about how you went from being around people to being alone, that'd be nice to read right now.

I see affirmations honestly as just a push. You don't even need the affirmation for example to "I am a hard worker" if you just get a job and commit to it. But maybe it'll help you get the motivation and means to do so, remind you to do so everyday, or since you care more now, you might try and understand why you don't work hard (maybe you want straight A's but problem is that your shy and don't talk to your teachers to make up work, in which case its not a problem of working harder but other areas). Challenging your belief can be any time any day, the quantity of your affirmations won't work for you, unless you find yourself doing anything differently than before. (Though I could be wrong). reading your list of affirmations though, I honestly think you could merge a lot of those together and even spend less time talking to yourself, you might try visualization, reading your list it feels more like something you could imagine in a 10 minute visualization (if visualizations work for you.) But to address your original question - I think you should for sure shorten the amount of affirmations you have, usually I stop with my affirmations after 30 days because I get the minimum results that I'm satisfied with. Also with the affirmations you listed, I think they'll help, but obtaining those things might not be exactly a matter of changing a belief, but maybe meditating, fixing life problems, etc. (those were examples, you should seek to understand what your problems really are for yourself.) summary - spend less time listening to yourself, and more time (outside of the actual practice) actually being the change you want

Thanks to all your responses, Its just been awhile since I watched Leo's do-nothing video, and I think my practice changed a little bit over-time, or something. But thanks!

1) if you sneeze or laugh accidently during do-nothing meditation, why does it make you go out of the state? (why is moving bad), and also if I'm not supposed to move, why is breathing ok 2) How am I supposed to know if I'm doing do-nothing right? I know I can wait maybe a couple of years and check to see if theres benefits, but especially with Leo saying about how if your going to be doing it for decades, you want to make sure its right, how can you know if your doing it +full benefits, and not be deluded by some benefits. Or should I even worry about this? 3) If you do do-nothing and mindfulness why are you doing both - what are the benefits