archi

I can live like I lived up to now, however, I decided that I have to change my life quite a bit. I was able to accumulate enough wealth that I could move somewhere cheap and live there forever ever after . It is not true but I did some calculations and I'm safe next 40 years if things do not change dramatically. I'm 15years in marriage , it looks like not from love or maybe I just forgot about it and want my freedom. Either I got it or I'm going to get it, contract is still valid . I would be already divorced if I did not have 2 great boys so it is very difficult to create suffering in their lives. Well, you can comment on it, this is one thing where I'm lagging quite a bit. What happened in that sense comes tomorrow ...

Time went on and I changed countries I lived in and job I was doing but I felt things are not ok so I was searching for teacher or teaching. I wanted to become apprentice of many teachers but I quickly realized that I'm going to have difficulty to find teacher. I could pick golden nuggets from them but I had difficulty to oversee unbalanced details in their lives, I was going for perfection . I created personal program with multiple things that I'm going to participate in. I took part in 10day vipassana retreat in javorie.sk led by Buddhist monk, it cleared lot of rubbish from my mind. Then, I got info about psychedelics from actualized.org and I went for a trip to Netherlands and had rape, kambo, bufo and ayahuasca within 2 days. My intention was find our what is reality and It changed my perspective of reality . Actually, I went there twice, first time I was a bit in some fractal , in some strange state and second time I had enlightenment experience "what is". Ayahuasca was amazing for me, I was talking to a plant like some friend that knew my past, present and future. I took part in several workshop based on Harners program, european shamanic program https://www.shamanism.org/ , it gave me different perspective on shamanism, especially siberian shamanism. At the same time I met shamanic woman from UK that helped me to see and confirm many of my findings, to which I'm greatfull. Around that time I also recognized that Kriya yoga is very helpful for enlightenment work so I created program for myself where I joined ashtanga and kriya yoga and it works well. I admit I practice mostly ashtanga for grounding effect. My current state is that I feel incredibly free and blissful, I cannot say it is constant but daily/weekly practice that I do helps me to get into that state. Maybe I missed some details and timeline is not exact but core is there. What helps me in my journey: - reading books/audiobooks from Leo's list - reading other texts related to yoga. budhism, zen - neoshamanic retreats in Netherlands (Kambo, Bufo, Aya) - shamanic methods of siberian shaman - toltec culture - silent vipassana retreats - ashtanga and kriya yoga

I was told that max. they give is 50mg (smoking).

I had while light experience few days after 5-meo trip while meditating, it was total bliss. Since then nothing :).

So, lets get to the point with few posts what is really the status of being. I try to be as much consistent as possible. -------- Reading lots of texts from Leo's list and outside list I was looking for peace of my soul. First book that I read was Frankl : Man searching for meaning, aka I did not see any meaning to my existence and I wanted to hold on to something. That let me to other psychology/psychiatry texts and ultimately led to eastern texts (yoga, hindu, budhists) Given that I red stuff on yoga I was looking for style of yoga that could give me more than fitness. So, I found ashtanga yoga around 5-6 years ago and I started practicing it, it was and it is painful process :), somewhen in 2017 I even did teacher training course. It was natural that I'm going to start yoga studio. What helped me in my journey: - reading books/audiobooks from Leo's list - reading other texts related to yoga. budhism, zen

Choose your spirit

Glad to hear that someone with condition was able to overcome it and realize own manipulation. I'm not easy person and I as anybody else have tendency to manipulate. I try to be honest with myself, ideally radical honesty, it is tough. At the same time, one cannot use radical honesty to people around. People around are mostly ignorant and are not able to accept honesty, they want lies, not that honesty isn't lie by itself .

I met recently woman that I have to deal with her in various ways but it turns out that she's got depression, anxiety, panic attacks? (l do not know what type yet, assuming mild to severe) One of the major challenges is that I like her but I realized I'm not able to talk to her and I need some advice. She is on medication (do not know what she takes). She has lots of survival problems and also she keeps talking how she loves sun and hates winter/cold. Once I started theme around depression and it was no good idea (it was possibly too early), I was not able to communicate with her in a way that I did not offend her (she made 5 steps in logic forward her way and made assumptions and conclusions that had nothing to do with what I said) and she immediately became frustrated and stumped me with words to the ground like schoolboy . (Oh boy, I loved it, I guess I'm masochist) Afterwards, I apologize and she takes control and I say almost absolutely nothing most of the time, like a fucking pony. ( at this point I just let go) I feel it is all related to trust and the fact that I'm not used to it and and. How to talk to people with depression? How to gain trust? Do people with depression have ability to change or drug take control over them? Any other advice?

I quickly decided not to interfere, yes, I realized that there were many interesting things in her views but they were not theirs. I saw something that was not there but I still see lots of potential but I keep it for myself, she wants to burn I let her burn . I wondered that maybe she uses depression to manipulate people and she was manipulating me . Once I realized that all my suffering stopped. She cannot trust me, I cannot trust her, case resolved .

Women, yes, maybe she is more women in one . I just never met women like her and I was brain fcked and it looks that the reason was the number of psychiatric sessions and some depression/anxiety. Intention that is a good point, when my mind cannot think of anything else and I suffer my intention was to get rid of my suffering , I used it for creativity. All was resolved in multiple interactions, I got rid of my suffering (lost painful creativity) and she is in the same state that she was before , god bless her.

@Bluebird Your experience of reality after dark-retreat reminds me of me having first bite of food after 3 weeks of water fasting. Great work!

That is the pinnacle of the self-actualization. I was amazed that it was always in front of our eyes. I Love you !

I have a feeling I was looking at this job (is it with ashoka?/) as well :). However, I do not look for a job I look for vision at least. .... my advice ... always look who is behind the flow of the money... I do not think it is yellow in this case, it is still green, if not worse. Otherwise, good luck, I hope you are going to like it.

@khalifa Do not fast for just 2 days, either you do it for longer like 5-7days or intermittent fasting.

There is nothing wrong with him .... I like what he says about beliefs, tribalism, placebo and some other concepts. Unless one does not have direct evidence of god one cannot say it exists so he say god does not exist. @Leo Gura Why don't you contact Joe and get your ass on line?

It is just a question of time until you get over it whether you want or not so just enjoy it until lasts. One way is to be exposed by so many partners that you get bored and/or start to think about it more consciously who to choose , or you get STD and it also shifts your perception immediately . Another one to get old . Don't create unnecessary barriers, you would be forced to return to it in order to progress anyway. Once I meditated and first few minutes I was having sex thoughts, I was not able to get rid of it so it became my object of meditation and I introduced compassion and love to all and everything . It was great ... passionate sex and love dance and I just can sink into it. However, love was quite strong and all those sex thoughts dissipated into love and bodily thoughts disappeared after few moments, then I was able to return to breath etc. Just don't make it addition

I currently see Trump as a president for 2nd term. Anyone, too?

I can only confirm what you describe. Moreover, long term fasting (21+) brings you closer to death and one has to deal with it. You can even cross the bounday of no return and you are physically gone ... Jesus did not go into a desert for fun

All I see that the most of addictions diappears while marching towards enlightenment . Anything that is left keeps you functioning in this realm with awareness of your addiction . Note from my perspective even breathing is addition .

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLw-NvuSHo99OWwOBJ_W60Q" >Drowzey Drawz Youtube channel ... </a> Drowzey Drawz (test)

Absolutely Also current mostly muslim immigration puts pressure on local population etc.

I was doing it for few months, it can sort out lots of issues (addiction, work, relationships) but also expose new issues so there can be quick progress. 20ug is a lot for me, one should feel only very subtle physical effects if any. I end up at 9ug using Dr.Fadiman's approach. Even jump to 11ug has a significant effect. There is a study that lower doses lead to fully engaged work and higher doses to increased creativity. Find your sweetspot for purpose you want to use it. Forgot to say do grounding practice at least kriya yoga. It keeps you in check .

You got already customers (ie stream of income) , I do not have even customers and I plan to start in few months ... like Socrates awaiting poisson. All is going to be well, just do it step by step as McKenna said in his books Futher, good luck.

Trump is not strong (he replaced lots of people so he got stronger), the problem of other is the inability to evercome his strength. Unless the consciousness of people is increased there won't be change in the current system, so Trump and alike are going to win. However, as in the chinese farmer story, we do not know whether it is good or bad (aka Ralston's not knowing).

btw. in order to decrease usage of valuable substance use maoi before plugging (decrease dosage below 10mg as a start, ideally 5-6mg )