archi

@Arkandeus You realized that there is no real reality, :), you detached from standard calibration, you seen the things some pray to see. ... killing yourself is not the end of your trip but continuation... and apparently, you want to re-calibrate to standard reality, so you need to find a break. Shamans are in some sense ancient doctors so that as pointed out by Barry do not diminish western medicine, speak to doctors too, they might help you to re-calibrate too.

@Arkandeus I can see, given your replies, you are doing fine, stop moaning and use this experience as a gift and make use of it till it lasts. You can give up shortly work (in case you don't need immediate cash) and try to work with it, you have to find people with similar experiences ... maybe return to that shaman etc. just try to embrace it.

@Arkandeus rape and/or sananga can stop trip into infinity (in my case it was rape but you are far away as I've been ), , maybe you should try it in the morning to stabilize your state during the day

find mistake

@isabel don't doubt that You are universe, we are universe, you might feel unique but you are the same

@Enlightenment and/or attachment

I observed that female path to enlightenment goes through suffering too. Due to female physical and mental capabilities given by universe and influenced by society they usually use subtler energy paths.

@billiesimon you are not even married and worry too much about nothing Once you reach 100/200+ you get bored anyway they you try all shapes,colors and sizes and get bored too Also, once you realize that we are connected you might want to have sex with a man too maybe get std in the mean time too but it is nothing to worry life goes on The earlier you look inside and get rid of addition the less burden you might carry ... (this is valid for all addictions)

thought -> doubt(isn't it just thought?) -> fear(isn't it just thought?) -> is there is smtg beyond thought ? -> etc. just continue deeper, label, observe and contemplate ... You can divert it, e.g. who is that myself?

@Enlightenment Interesting, what you describe is where I'm or heading. Can you elaborate which mantra it was and that technique have u used? I'd be glad to try it, tx.

Like in meditation, I started to label/note ego once I catch it (being aware) doing its nasty stuff . If the nature of ego is transient it vanishes naturally.

@Recursoinominado I feel you man it is not easy to implement insights, somehow you have to find ways to align to the frequency Drug users of Cocaine/Heroine/Meth etc. use iboga to get rid of addition and carve new habits (I heard) but once you go this path be prepared to suffer . @Serotoninluv Could you elaborate your mini doses of what and how much? Also, what are you hero doses that you do once month?

Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. Wage slave or not wage slave it does not matter ... it is just matter of perception in dualistic world

+ other things you find out during your life's journey.

All above + look positively at life and don't take things in life too seriously.

OMG! Topic can be: Most of the people do not buy luxury car but I own one. (Green Frog show-off) And the plot can be: Joseph: There is not even a question but lets discuss it and show them the truth (Joseph show-off), fck. Leo: Lets expand perspective (Leo). Joseph: I'm right and I do not accept other perspectives, I have my truth and there is only one, mine! However, after reading your further posts Joseph I realized you agree with Leo, ha. I know I'm the same here . What is the original question? There is no question.

well, I had bufo after rape and kambo and I had a trip but I admit maybe I could get more out of bufo If I had smoked something before. Anybody tried dmt (not 5-meo-dmt) anally? I think I' going to mix it with 0.5ml of watter and stick it in .

@Sockrattes "Yes and No but basically no. " - In a sense you can choose whatever you want. You and/or somebody else may perceive it as a wrong decision but it may be perceived as a right decision from different perspective. Your two boys hang from building and you can save only one of them, who do you save ? There is not right/wrong decision. Even if things seem clear: Am I going to shop because I'm hungry or I'm not going to the shop and I stay hungry. As long as you are free to accept any consequence you are free to choose whatever you want. However, you may soon or later realize that you do not have free will at all and therefore you cannot make wrong decision because there is not the one that decides.

That is what I try to contemplate some time on/off : What would it take to gain enough consciousness to generate/create 'false' self?

@Moreira They might have their own leader-servant-pyramid concept.

As a skeptic one should point out that even job for boss may be enjoyable and one could have enough freedom and maybe even more free time to pursue enlightenment, (based on Linchpin - Seth Godin). There are so many traps on this way (not regular job) that you may progress slower than employed guy in linchpin job.

@Joseph Maynor Yes, I watch movies but don't tell me all are bad :).

Cayce used dreams, Canstaneda speaks about them in his books as a part of practice so it looks one should be able to get some information out of them. And how conscious one is? This is to me not clear as I never tried it ... It might me interesting to investigate.

@Solace Great but it is not necessary to reinvent 5000+ years old wheel The purpose of asana was to bring you to the state where you can effortlessly sit in meditation.

Hi, retreats are great tool to progress. However, I've got scoliosis and after 7-8 days meditating 13-14h per day my back pain got so great that it helped idea to leave retreat early (it was one of the reasons). I tried to help relieve my pain, it was also object of my meditation, actually great object of meditation in terms of impermanence but it is so draining and It may lead to attachment and also physically to permanent weakening of one side of back muscles, etc. Also, I've observed that there were few people that had similar issues but It was silent retreat and speaking was undesirable. Anybody has such health issues during retreats? How do/did you deal with it?