RickyFitts

The hatred you're feeling towards your mother is what's known as a secondary or 'cover' emotion - we humans tend to get caught in such surface emotions (anger, resentment, hatred, bitterness, etc. - ie all forms of negativity), and we find it very difficult to feel the deeper, more vulnerable feelings of, for example, grief and hurt (this tends to be more difficult for men, I suspect). I've struggled to let go of such feelings myself; I've found that becoming more sensitive in the body and allowing it to relax and gradually release both the surface emotions, and also those deeper feelings that the surface emotions are unconsciously designed to keep at bay, is what's required. It can be a bumpy ride, but I think it's necessary to do that inner work in order to let go of the negativity you're feeling.

On the question of whether it's right to sleep with someone who's in a relationship with someone else, I think this is where it's helpful to put yourself in that person's shoes - how would you feel if you found out your partner had been sleeping with someone else behind your back? I imagine most of us would be in bits. And her saying 'It's not my problem'? Not being funny, but that is an appalling attitude to have - this girl sounds seriously messed up.

I've had issues with observing the breath in the past, too, I found that I was becoming neurotic about it which just made it a really frustrating practice. I eventually found it much more helpful to think of it more in terms of allowing the body to breathe, and not attempting to control or force the breath in any way.