RickyFitts

I reckon you might be right about that - it's actually extremely common in humans and yet so few people are conscious of the fact, so it shows great self-awareness that you can see this in yourself. I think a big part of the reason that humans tend to have difficulty connecting with themselves is because if they were to connect with themselves, what they would probably discover is a lot of upset, and unfortunately we tend to repress such feelings. So a good question to consider might simply be, 'What don't I want to feel right now?'.

The irony of this is that your judgement of yourself as a stupid person is also generating suffering for yourself, but you don't realise this because you believe that self-judgement. But you don't generate suffering for yourself because you're stupid, you generate suffering for yourself because you've been conditioned to resist the pain inside you - that happens unconsciously, it isn't your fault. Feel that resistance, notice where you feel it in your body. Allow it to relax, let your body breathe.

Beautifully said You're absolutely right about not trying to brute force our way through, and about having love, respect, and patience instead - patience in particular is so important for me personally I think, allowing things to unfold in their own time. It's a gradual process, but the more patient we are, the quicker things will unfold.

This is key I think, I love this I've felt an unwillingness in myself of late to let go of my sense of personhood, I guess because I identify with this sense and I feel like there's going to be nothing left if I let go of it - that I'll cease to exist, essentially. At the same time I recognise on some level that I have to let go of it if I want to be truly free, but the thought of letting go brings up feelings of sorrow and fear. But surrender, as you say, is what is required.

@Breakingthewall Fasciculation is a new word on me, I must admit - had to google it, it's a muscle spasm for anyone else who wasn't sure. In the East I believe they'd call this a kriya, it's very common in relation to kundalini awakening.

???

Brings to mind a scene from the British sitcom 'Peep Show':

'To embody any degree of realization requires us to uncover and expose those remaining mental and emotional fixations that inhibit the spontaneous movement of wisdom and love within our lives. For most, this is no small task. It all starts by taking full responsibility for our own inner and outer lives, and noticing the ways in which our own fear, judgment, resentment, and confusion cloud our ability to respond to the challenges of life in a wise and appropriate way.' - Adyashanti

Love this so much ???

You're welcome

The love of truth is such a beautiful quality

This is huge for me, yeah, and it depends on how open our hearts are, it seems to me - in our hearts we know the difference between right and wrong. The problem for a lot of people is that they've learnt to harden their hearts, and so they've lost their connection to the truth.

So glad you found support here, Preety, you deserve that

@Preety_India Oh I'm the same, I used to record music with my mate and it'd just be excruciating to listen to myself back at first, good Lord ?

But is spirituality done with you? Love this, completely agree This is what it boils down to in the end, I think.