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Everything posted by Waves

  1. James Marshall or anyone of The Natural Lifestyles. These guys are masters of natural seduction and in general of living the good material life. Their approach is the most holistic you'll find out there. James has a great mind, is non-ideological, and has massive life experience, including with meditation (he has trained with monks). For example, this speech gives you the big picture of how learning dating and attraction integrates with your hero's journey.
  2. Last week's video about Investment over years was highly inspiring and got me thinking a lot about how I could be more deliberate in creating the life I want. Here's the time-stamped point where he suggests to do a small but important exercise. I'd like to invite you to reflect and share the 5 things that you'd like to invest in in the next 5-10 years. It's a good exercise to get clear and concrete. I'm also trying to refine my list and I'm sure that seeing other's ways to label and describe these investments will be helpful to get a better idea of what we personally value. One way I'd like to develop it further and make it more visual and aesthetic is to do some graphic art/mind-maps of these 5 labels. Here is my first attempt at categorizing them (in no particular order). They are clearly interconnected and spill over into each other, but that's okay : Self-education Understanding life, learning about various domains and perspectives Developing intelligence, curiosity, wisdom Social life & skills Seduction, Dating, Sexuality Friendships, tribe, collaboration Self-expression and connection: charismatic and authentic communication. Career & Business Life Purpose Valuable and rare creative skills Financial Independence Health Mind-Body connection Movement, Nutrition, Play, Breathwork, Feeling Self-mastery Mastering my inner Achiever, Creator & Leader: discipline, focus, vision, action, generating results, intensity, clarity Emotional mastery Introspection, self-reflection Spirituality Curious to learn about yours!
  3. @flume It's mainly about the time, focus, energy you invest, in addition to the money. The episode was really good. The concept was rather simple, but it definitely changed and expanded my perspective on the "process" of going from vision to creation. I definitely recommend checking it out. Yes I didn't want to include the how, because the list would get too bulky, although some how items slipped in haha. Intelligence would be develop via contemplation, studying and experiencing multiple perspectives, integrating them via contemplation, gaining understanding, etc. Curiosity could emerge from the same process, as, usually, the more you learn and understand, the more you want to expand your map and incorporate other domains. Also, developing gratitude and really appreciating how limited your perspective is, could be another way of developing curiosity. With spiritual practices you can certainly become more child-like and tune in with the beauty around you, which just makes you more fascinated and curious about the world.
  4. @Scholar Cool, my bad. I noticed that you seem to bring a good portion of emotional investment in your attempt to pin him down on the spiral, I don't think it's serving you to gain an accurate idea. I'm sure you'll take my observation for what it's worth.
  5. @Scholar I don't understand why you think he needs to be fully stage Green to represent those values and almost to have the right to speak about them. The evolution happens in small steps, slowly building on top of each other, it's all enmeshed together, orange and green. Why do you assume he should be any different? Would you rather have him shut up and not spreading any Green values at all, just because he's not fully Green? I mean, the dude is educating thousands of people about progressive politics and helping them to develop a Greener worldview. How are you not on board with that? I think he's doing an important job. I don't care what he does in his personal life. He seems a very down-to-earth, practical, and funny dude who can entertain, appeal to orange people and help them grow out of orange in small ways, at least in the political domain.
  6. Wow, that was a damn good one, great pronunciation too!
  7. Why do you think it helped you become a calmer person? Is it because it helps you clear your thoughts more easily?
  8. @Marcel Well, that must have been a compelling reason. Yeah it's a good mindset shift not be looking passively, but to get involved with things and putting your passion into them actively.
  9. The point of this thread is to share what has been on my mind for a couple of years, and to bounce off ideas. It's a topic that can go really wide and deep, for now I'm only getting a glimpse of how these aspects are all interconnected. Feel free to share your thoughts. I'll paint a darker picture to give you some context: I'm spoiled, I'm currently disconnected from the feeling of having to earn results in life, I'm basically avoiding to hold my feet to the fire of reality. I'm disconnected from struggle, challenge, because I was so fortunate to have been given much of the material stuff I needed by my family and society, especially money. I know it's a high quality problem, most of my material needs have been met without me having to do anything. But for this reason I was left entitled, ungrateful, listless and to some degree unable to provide for myself. I grew up somewhat disengaged, indifferent, cynic, retreated, immersed in video games and the internet, seeking constant stimulation from external sources, as a form of avoidance. Probably a learned behavior derived from unprocessed grief, victimhood and low self-esteem. It's been a couple of years since I developed an awareness of how this stimulation is filling me up to nausea and clouding my intuition. I've been improving and getting more clarity, but I often still feel stuck in these numbing and procrastination patterns. What's missing is the fire coming from deep within, from my soul. The fire to go out there and being a powerful creator, being deeply passionate about life. The fire that comes from the deep awareness of how precious and what a gift this life is. I know the fire is there, its light shines through from time to time when I journal and reflect, but I keep suppressing it with daily unconscious patterns and external seeking. I have been contemplating several questions over these years: How do I take life less for granted and more seriously? How do I unspoil myself and get humbled by life? How do I be more creative and engaged with life? How do I be more curious, proactive, disciplined, grateful, intentional, focused, giving, enthusiastic, present, more of a warrior? What is preventing me from engaging more with life? These are some of the answers I thought of: Come up with an inspiring vision for my life (it's been in the makings for years, still struggling to connect with what I tangibly want) Connect with survival, master being an Achiever Deliberately challenge yourself and face your fears Be more observant and empathetic, zoom out of your limited perspective Develop gratitude and appreciation Contemplate your own death, become aware of the trajectory you're on Study passionate people and bring more uplifting people into your life Be more of a giver, be more of service, instead of constantly taking I'm keen to read different perspectives on this, any insight or pointer is appreciated.
  10. You're not alone my friend. I'm also scattered with knowledge, one day I'm interested in one thing, the other day in something else. I noticed that when there are exercises to do, that's the most likely point at which I start looking elsewhere, because I think to myself that I want to be fresh or in the mood to tackle the exercise. On one hand I allow myself to follow my interests and read various books simultaneously, especially if I'm reading one fiction book and other non-fiction ones. I also accepted the fact that I don't have to finish a book if it's not that helpful to me at the stage I'm at. But I know it doesn't feel right to leave it open-ended. On the other hand, it's clear that some discipline is required to get the benefits. Now, I won't allow myself to buy a book until I finish one. I keep the ones I want to buy in my Amazon wish list. Also, I try to read every day, doesn't matter how many pages, and I do it in the same part of the day (after dinner). In a deeper sense, it could be that our habit of constantly switching tasks during the day (you know, checking the phone, internet, etc.) then translates into other domains like these.
  11. Good for you! That's a great place to be in. How did you go about it? Was/Is it motivated by external goals? For instance, a couple of years ago I had a strong discipline to study for exams and did well, but now that kind of motivation mainly coming from the fear of not passing exams is not enough anymore. It was powerful at the time, but it ran its course, and now I want to learn to be positively motivated. On a side note, I listened to the newest Huberman Lab's podcast on addiction and there was an interesting insight: look at the jobs that present themselves to you and do them simply and honorably one day at the time, with humility. This mindset will certainly help me to build discipline back up. From that place of humility and taking one day/moment at the time I can get overthinking out of the picture and focus on simple execution and engagement. Timothy rarely disappoints, I will check it out, thanks I'm at a point where I can recognize being apathetic/depressed from time to time as normal. Still hard to accept it when it happens, but I'm sure I'll get there and beyond with IFS. Funnily enough I never had a chance to read it. Might be a good time.
  12. I would investigate why you feel that way. Is it strictly connected to the fact that you don't want to catch STDs or is there something deeper, like you cannot accept that she had such sexual experiences in the past? I could be totally projecting here, I'm still trying to deconstruct the social conditioning of the Madonna-whore complex. If this rings a bell, I have a really good video for you: Triggered by Sexually Liberated Women?
  13. @FlyingLotus Wow, you went hard and holistic there thanks a lot! You gave me a lot to research and think about. I may have experienced some neglect, but indirectly, due to the loss of a parent. Still need to dig deep there. I'm currently working with the Sedona Method to release emotional baggage, but it's a long-term process and it needs to be attacked from various angles, as you suggested. This is a key insight for me, I'll start to pay more attention to how and when this depressed part manifests. I heard of IFS from multiple people recently, it may be worth to follow the synchronicity haha This guy is interesting, definitely curious to hear what he has to say. I'm currently considering to do a dopamine detox, because it's now clear that excessive stimulation from internet and social media is robbing me of energy, desire, motivation, and wasting my time.
  14. @aurum Thanks for your thoughts, you certainly make valid points that helped me reframe the situation. I think it's about further recognizing my privilege and appreciating the luck I had to be born in such circumstances (without beating myself up for it), which also helped me realize that money and material possessions don't actually lead to happiness. I'm comparing myself to others and I see that I'm not that hungry and motivated to work hard, and instead of seeing it as a weakness, I can realize that I have the opportunity to be driven by higher sources of motivation (creativity instead of reactivity). I'm paralyzed and overwhelmed by the amount of freedom I have, and resist the paradigm change from negative to positive motivation. Still, there is that other side of the coin of this privilege that left me somewhat unresourceful and unable to fend for myself. The solution seems to go back and plug those holes in my development and create a solid foundation (i.e. Achiever, stage Blue & Orange). That's absolutely the plan, I moved to a larger city for this purpose. The thing is, the desire to engage and explore is often suppressed, but that's another story.
  15. @flowboy I heard good things about it, but my main concern is that it seems to rip up latex. Have you had an issues?
  16. I've recently discovered salt deodorant and it's amazing how well it works. The only negative thing is that the effect doesn't last that long if your shirt gets sweaty. I feel like we're missing something though... what about natural (condom-friendly) lube? Almond oil works great for massage, but I haven't tried it for something beyond yet
  17. Don't over do it. Keep it for when you set up a date. Ask yourself why you would want to "bait" her: to have a conversation over text (not very effective)? To get her validation? Is your desire to text her coming from neediness? Yeah a bit, but it depends on the place you're coming from. If it's something you authentically feel like sharing and that is congruent to who you are (an active person for example), it could be an opportunity for connection. You're not asking anything and she is free to ignore your input. It's even better if you manage to tease her or mention something you two talked about in a playful way, although in the end you want to keep it simple and move quickly. The point is to smooth out the logical process of setting the logistics of the date with some personality and playfulness, nothing more.
  18. Wait it out for a couple of days or more, keep yourself busy with other things. Don't expect girls to take the initiative in these early stages. It's your job to lead, come up with suggestions and create the space to meet up. I think it's good, it keeps your neediness at bay. You can sprinkle in some banter and playfulness, especially when you hit her up after some time. Next time you hit her up don't go straight to scheduling the date, start with something simple that doesn't require any reply from her, like "Love these warms days" or "Just went for a swim, feeling awesome now". Then suggest a day to meet up. The vibe you're going for is along the lines of 'hey I'm living my life, stuff is happening. Anyway, let's get on to arranging that date.'
  19. Speaking of which, have you taken Eben's course on creativity and innovation? I've been studying creativity for a while and I thought of seeing what it has to offer.
  20. Thanks for sharing, I definitely relate to your situation. Integrating Orange and the Achiever is essential. In the last couple of years I found myself getting lured into Yellow and above by Leo's teachings, but in all honesty it's not serving me as well as it could if I had solid foundations: it's contributing to spreading myself to thin and that's how my hierarchy got molded into a Swiss cheese as well I've also realized that being so involved with self-help made me too one-dimensional, too on the "How-to" side, whereas I'd like to be more well-rounded, like a renaissance man, exploring various domains of life and developing passions. Go make it happen, good luck!
  21. I think they're a good stepping stone towards reducing meat consumption, especially when taking large fast food chains into account. Pretty unhealthy, but if you consider the meat quality served in most fast food restaurants, I think it's a step further. A major factor is that they need fewer resources to be produced, they have lower emissions and they don't involve animal farming. Overall, a positive for society, imo. I personally treat them as junk food, exceptions for social events like BBQs, and not something that I would cook at home by myself.
  22. I'm not aware of any software doing that, but why not use B rolls or simple moving imagery like fractals? (although it can be less entertaining and heavier on the editing) Alternative: go shop for some costumes
  23. I recently stumbled upon an old fascinating post of a forum member on EFT (tapping). Still have to try it myself, but I'll link it here, as an additional option
  24. The only one I'm aware of is under the category Emotional Mastery, just search "stoic" with ctrl+F.
  25. In short, Leo is a human. It seems like you're expecting him to be perfect, and I fell into the same trap when I started following his work, and it was my projection because I expected myself to be perfect (maybe it rings something for you). Don't idolize him, don't put him on a pedestal, don't see him as a holy figure or whatever. He's just a dude (his avatar at least ) delivering some gold nuggets of wisdom. It is obvious he's really fucking good at doing that, and unique in what he teaches and how he teaches it. I can see how the embodiment of teachings is important and determines the quality of a teacher, but your job is to focus on what he's pointing to and to experience it yourself, not to look at the finger. You don't have to agree/approve of everything he says or does, drop your expectations and projections towards him and you'll be better off. Also, learn from many other teachers.