Forestluv

That’s not what I mean by singularity. That use is seperating into source / not source. Recently I’ve had some nondual experiences. I’m aware of it, yet can’t explain it. The other day I was admiring a butterfly dancing among flowers as a pollinator. There was a moment of awareness of one, of same, of singularity. It wasn’t like “I” was watching “it”. I don’t know how long the moment was because it was timeless. My mind has tried to make sense of that moment, yet each attempt isn’t it.

There is a singularity of is

Pure psychedelics are safer than pure alcohol. Contaminated psychedelics and contaminated alcohol are both unsafe.

Thoughts and cocepts is is too. As is everything.

My most insightful moments have not felt good. They usually involve some level of ego dissolution or death. I find it really uncomfortable and I don’t know why I keep going back for more. For me, my strongest sense of Truth was simply “is”. My ego didn’t like it one bit and I reached the insanity threshold.

@AleksM Those are feelings that simply “is”. One is not more “is” than anothet. They all “is”

@kuwaynej The AI contingente at the National Neuroscience conference is getting larger every year. . .

@Marios Tsagoulis The hardest part for me is entering the dreaded ego-death zone. An ego with insecurities, dissappointments, self-judgement, confusion, overwhelm etc. is an ego still under the illusion of control. For me, that is infinitely more comfortable than losing all control and facing ego death. Yet since I first got there, I keep having this calling to return. Sometimes I feel like I’m on the edge of insanity and enlightenment.

Those are just a couple selective factors. Others such as height, sense of humor, religion and ethnicity are also strong selective forces. An insecure guy who is 6’3”, handsome with a great sense of humor would have a higher sexual fitness than an emotionally-stable confident 5’4” guy who is overweight and balding.

Who decides what is *real*?

@Nahm The sentiment isn’t negative. Perhaps conceptualization candy is better

That's some hot conceptualization porn!

@haai14 It all is. A thought is a thought. An action is an action. a feeling is a feeling. Society and language is based on judgement. Consider how many adjectives and adverbs there are in the English language. Good/bad, beautiful/ugly, mean/nice and on and on. A day without adjectives/adverbs is a very different perspective.

@knakoo If you like Al-lad, you may want to try other lysergics. For the tryptamines, 4-aco-met is in the same level as al-lad. Me thinks 4-aco-dmt yields stronger headspace

@Leo Gura Thank you. Perhaps your words helped me stumble into it. Yesterday I had quite the shroom trip. Everything “is”. I couldn’t change it, stop it or escape it. Any thought, action, feeling, sight, sound. All “is”. I layed on the forest floor trying to regain my sanity. I thought “the trees are beautiful”. Yet that thought and the trees were “is”. An intense feeling of being trapped, more “is”. I wanted to contact and ask you for an easier way. Yet anything you say is “is”. As things settled down, relief is relief. Geese flying overhead is geese flying overhead. A yummy sandwich is a yummy sandwich.

@Edvard A thought questioning what is right or wrong is a thought questioning what is right or wrong. Everything is "is".

@haai14 The feeling of 100% truth is the feeling of 100% truth. The feeling of doubt is the feeling of doubt.

@Ariel Everything you wrote "is".

Yesterday there was a moment that lasted a moment, hours or eternity. Time had no meaning. I took a low-medium amount of psilocybin and headed over to the local Nature Center. I was expecting this trip to be similar to my previous ones where I am ONE with nature and experience fascination and awe. Where I experience greater consciousness and feel like the *real* me. Well, this was quite different. I began feeling uncomfortable and was unable to steer things into the comfort zone. There was an ominous sense of some "it", yet I couldn't identify what "it" was. It wasn't a certain "it", it was everywhere. I couldn't make "it" stop. I couldn't change "it". I couldn't escape "it". I sat on a bench overlooking a stream - yet "it" was "it". I tried to walk, still "it". I layed down on the earth and tried to think about how beautiful the trees and sky were. They were beautiful and not beautiful - they were just "it". Everything was "it" and there was no making sense of "it". I went into the insanity zone - and that was still "it". Three students approached me on the hiking path - there was fear of what might happen - they could see me as an insane professor, I could start screaming, I could smile and say "HI", I could just continue staring at the sky - yet it was all "it". I felt so trapped - which was still "it". I was begging to make "it" stop and sensed that the lesson was just "it" and I could not run away or escape "it". Whatever I thought or did was "it". Whatever was, was "it". I looked at my watch and only 5 min. had passed. I thought there is no way I can deal with 2 more hours of this. I thought of jumping in the river - still "it". I thought the only way to stop it would be to kill myself, yet that would also be "it" and I had no control over "it". I wanted to contact Leo and ask if there is any easier way to learn this lesson. Yet, realized anything he said was also "it". As I started coming down off the peak and that ominous "it" became more of an "is". Anxiety is anxiety. A comfortable feeling is a comfortable feeling. That duck is a duck. Seeing the form of a face in a tree trunk is seeing the form of a face in a tree trunk. . . I saw a group of people with walki-talkis. I wondered who they were. What are they doing here? Mysterious feeling is mysterious feeling. . . Are they looking for someone? Could they stop and interrogate me?. . . People with walki talkis is people with walki talkis. Worry of unknown is worry of unkown. Then the worry went away and absence of worry was absence of worry. Everything "is". It "is" so fucking "is" it "is". . . All my search, all my trying to figure it out, all my listening / reading of spiritual teachings is "is". All those spiritual masters explaining insight and enlightenment - it's all "is", just like the duck and my anxiety of "is" is. . . Three cyclists pedaled by me on a bridge. I smiled and tried to make eye contact. The first two cyclists avoided eye contact. The third made eye contact with me for a moment. Is. . Is. . Is. . .Thoughts floated by "Was that a spiritual connection? Did she experience the same sense I did? Is that what it feels like to connect with someone?". Is. . .Is. . . Is. . . Then a flock of geese flew overhead. More "is". Wondering how I should end this post is wondering how I should end this post.

I’ve only dated a couple gals that was into it. Giving her some spanks didn’t do much for me. I’m more into spontaneous encounters outside.

@SFRL I’m a guy. Are you asking about getting spanked or soankinh her?

@SFRL getting spanking during sexual play or during the regular day?

Has someone done both Ayahuasca and 5meo that could compare the intensity levels?

@egoless That was one of my fears: that I would lose control and behave in bizarre ways and get in trouble. What I have found is that I can get anxious in the sub-ego death zone as it feels like I am losing control and I don't know what "might happen". Yet, beyond that, nothing new takes over. It's not like there is some alter-ego dark side that takes the keys for joy ride. I let go of control to . . . just being. And with the higher doses beyond ego-death, I am lying in bed in a state of confusion or visualizations. I wouldn't even be able to enter the passcode to my phone at that point. I have had blackouts in this zone. Yet, I'm literally sitting in my room or laying in bed in another zone. Perhaps others are functional on high doses, but not me. For low-medium doses, there can be some "mindfuck". For me it's only about 20 minutes and I can say "it's ok, not real, this is interesting, no one knows you are tripping, relax in a quite area for a bit". I am present and aware, the story of reality can get weird. For example, I was shrooming in Medellin, Colombia with a girl I just met the day before (she just smoked pot). We were at a restaurant for brunch during the comeup. At one point, the face of the waiter looked odd. There was an odd energy. We made eye contact and it was like "he knows" and I felt a connection. My mind starts telling a story how he seems like he's from a spirit world and he entered my life for some reason. Yet, I don't know why and get nervous. I look around the restaurant and people are eating and talking. It seems too perfect. Like a movie or a computer simulation. I don't know my role in the simulation or what will happen next. I get anxious that I may stand up and yell "what is going on? stop this!". I'm still present, yet it's like I'm on some foreign planet. That would make me anxious sober! I understand how this could spiral out of control for novices. I tried to talk myself down that it's all ok, yet the stimulation was too much. I told my friend I had to leave NOW. We boxed our food and left. I couldn't deal with people and asked if we could sit on a quiet bench in nature. After 10 min., life became so fascinating and beautiful! I was climbing trees and admiring insects and flowers. I was talking with street artists in Spanish about their life history. I may have had some nondual awareness that seem foreign and scary. Looking back, the moment with the waiter may have been nondual. Yet, my mind created a weird story afterwards. That's why I would suggest a low-medium dose the first time. So, you are still in touch with reality and can change your set and setting if there is a trouble spot.

There have been studies showing that psychedelics are among the lowest risk for harm to oneself and others. There are precautions though, like don't mix them with SSRI medication. Based on my reading a lot of message boards, it seems "bad trips" are often due to inexperienced people looking for a drug-induced high - taking too high of a dose and freaking out when they lose touch with reality. I generally trip solo. For me, I would plan on tripping multiple times and starting with a small-moderate dose. If reality gets strange, sometimes it's cool and fun. Sometimes it can be unsettling and the mind can make up some freaky stories. If I'm still in touch with reality, I can settle myself down by thinking "This isn't real, it will wear off in a few hours". I've experienced some nondual sensations on high doses beyond the "ego death" zone. Yet, there is also confusion and thought loops. So, not my favorite place to go. With experience, I've been aware of nondual sensations on low doses, yet it took experience to let go and relax into it. There can be a strange feeling and sense of losing control - it can lead to anxiety of the unkown and what could happen. Losing contact with what you thought was real can be unsettling. One time, I felt like I was in a reality within a reality within in a reality. I didn't know which was real and the anxiety started building. Then I was like, "This is kinda like the movie Inception, it could be cool". That was enough to steer things in another direction. Set and setting is really important. I get much more empathetic on shrooms and some things feel 10X intense. Like the bratty kid screaming outside sounds like he is being beaten and tortured by his parents. Yet, a touching scene of a surprise birthday party of TV can be the most beautiful thing ever and send me into tears, love and joy. . . I absolutely avoid all negative, violent, dark music or videos. It all gets amplified. Dark or light isn't too important to me. The visuals are better in the dark and with closed eyes. I generally go with the flow. Sometimes I can experience music at another level and want to dance. Other times, I go for a walk and experience flowers, insects, animals, clouds and trees totally differently. During the afterglow, I am still very empathetic and in tune with my surroundings. Yet, now I can interact with people now problem. I love to go for a walk in the neighborhood or nature during the after glow.