Forestluv

Right. That gets at what is the "source" of the seeing and feeling. One could say the brain and physical body sees and feels by processing external information, which is consistent with option 2.

I have experienced this several times. Ego dissolution / nondual experiences seem like insanity/psychosis to me. Yet doesn't that make sense? The perspective is so far away from the conventional, how could it not be considered psychosis?. . . I also thought of how many brilliant people have lived that have been categorized as insane.

@zunnyman To me, that sounds so warm and fuzzy. Who wouldn't want to leave a dingy prison and enter the wondrous land of Narnia? Yet, not my experience. More like my ego threatens to make me go insane or kill me before it surrenders relevance and control. It was all fun and games until my ego had control ripped away from it's clenched hands. Also, the two options you describe seem like the same path to me. Catch a glimpse of what lies beyond and gradually make progress toward it.

I know. One of my experiences was so terrifying and I realized the only way I could make it stop would be to kill my self. In the moment, I was thinking of my physical body death and latter thought about ego death. It really is a form of death for me. Over the last year anxiety, terror and insanity has been as much of the path as love, joy and freedom.

I see so many spiritual promises that love and joy are beneath the ego. My glimpses beyond the ego have been just "IS". Not good or bad. Not love or hate etc. Yet, I suppose love and joy attracts more people than "spend thousands of hours meditating and struggle through terror to realize everything just IS". I know I wouldn't have bought those books or attended those retreats. My ego likes mind candy.

IKR. When we are young, we spend so much time, effort and money accumulating things. Then when we are old we wanna get rid of and give away all that crap.

My mind loves entertaining juicy stuff like this. Yet to me, it’s just another happening and allow it to be without attachment or avoidance. And allow it to move on when it’s ready. . . Seems boring, I know.

For #2, I think sourcing is against forum TOC.

LSD alters serotonin signaling, yet I haven’t come across any evidence showing direct after effects to depression. Other chemicals, such as cocaine, clearly lower baseline dopamine levels causing depression and cravings. In the case of Post LSD depression, rather than “A” causes “B”, I would predict it’s many factors (including the lsd trip) coming together to cause the depression episode. Our brains love to search for something out of the ordinary and assign it causation.

To me, this sounds like an ego trying to maintain control and relevance. When confronted with surrending, one of my ego’s most effective strategies is to tap into anxiety and fear. It’s potent stuff. As my ego loses control, there may be disturbing thoughts or images of what could happen if I surrender to this mysterious “thing”. If it takes control, I could act on harmful impulses. I could run outside screaming profanities! I could send sex images to my boss and coworkers! That would be terrible! I better not surrender control to this awful “thing”. Yet, my glimpses have indicated the beyond ego is actually quite simple - yet my ego finds it unpalatable and boring - so creates all sorts of distractions and scary shit to discourage going there. For me, as uncomfortable as they are, I would treat the disturbing thoughts/feelings as another happening and just be with it.

For me, 150ug would have 1/2 the intensity he described. I’ve done Al-lad about four times. Its is the weakest of the lysergics I’ve tried. I need 300ug for moderate effects. For me, Al-lad is like watered down coffee.

Be aware and curious. Take a step outside of yourself and watch the episode as if it’s a movie scene. How fascinating it can be

“IT” for me is *being* without thought or talking. Does one need to think to express creativity through art?

This gets into the rarity of 100% certainty. Am I 100% certain that I was born? No. Would I give 100:1 odds and bet my life savings that I was born? Yes.

I’ve had a couple like that too, I think my ego was caught off guard

Ego death experiences have been the most terrifying experiences of my life. I absolutely dread it beforehand.

Sounds like an ego posturing to retain control. My ego’s best posture is that I could act on harmful impulses if I let go of control. Anxiety and fear are powerful deterrents to enlightenment.

My ego finds the “truth” quite boring and doesn’t give it much value. It would rather pursue goals and create stories and concepts.

For me, those glimpses of “enlightenment” have no goals or purpose. Just IS.

Kranti Ananta

@Brimstone Thanks. After about 25 years of personal development, I’ve recently had some glimpses into. . . I don’t know what to call it. . . Yet listening to Leo, Rupert Spira and Ananta Kranti speak of nonduality, I’m like “yea, ir’s kinda like that.” That kind of talk used to drive me crazy. I’d think “Just explain it in plain English!”. Now, relating to people feels odd. There’s like a familiar dual perspective with language. Then, this nondual whatever. So many things seem important and meaningful from my dual perspective, yet there is a singularity from nondual perspective. It’s almost like flipping between two different languages. Or, English and some alien sixth sense of just being like everything else, without thought or talk. It feels awkward at times.

Gotcha. Perhaps I shouldn’t have assumed the OP had a strong ego.

@kieranperez Isn’t the point of consciousness work to lose the self?

@Brimstone I’ve had some moments of “IT”, yet it’s not a “I get the concept” kinda thing like I experience in the sciences. The only word I’m able to use is “IS”. In the moment, there was zero doubt of “IS”. Afterwards, my mind tries to make sense and add stuff. Is it “truth”? “True nature”? “Actualization”? “Direct experience”? Yet, all words, terms and concepts were meaningless and irrelevant in that moment. I’ve tried to lose my self and return to “IS”. I’ve experienced two others flavors of “IS”. How is that possible?

My job allows me to take a month off each winter and two months each summer. I'm considering using that time for solid consciousness work. I have a career that I find rewarding and it comfortably pays the bills. I'm curious to what extent full-time communities, such as ashrams, are necessary or helpful. I've had a few glimpses into nonduality (mostly with psychedelics, yet a couple sober as well). One recurring message is that "IT" is right here, right now. That I don't need to travel thousands of miles to India in search of anything, because right now I am zero miles away from "IT". The sense feels like "truth". Yet then I read about people going to ashrams and monasteries and think perhaps some are a good idea.