Karla

58/365 If I look at how I spend my time I need a schedule to follow daily that allows me to feel free also I would like to improve on this, so I spend less time on social media I love to focus on my life priorities: writing & learning and improving my speaking/story telling I am happy most of the time but mortified when I think I should be progressing faster I can be more aligned with my bigger vision most of the time Shot meditations in the morning for awareness and mindfulness could be a good idea I have improved a little but this could be even better When I reflect on my level of awareness I bring to my work life I am more aware than ever thanks to this and my mentors but I want to be fully focused on alignment, wellness and authenticity I don’t like that I am still running around quite a bit and dependent on my part-time income I wish to be more aware moment to moment and tuned in deeply I have a mission but sometimes I forget/ fall unconscious and when I connect back I feel like a huge slacker and judge myself but I can be more conscious and more focused I need to train my focus and mindfulness for greater effectiveness in my work I desire to be legit looking in my SM and online presence— more together in line with my messaging If I think about how I set my priorities I set them well but as the day goes on I get pulled into distraction mode I could be clearer and more committed I have not been honest with myself in regards to what I really want and desire to prioritize I only want to prioritize my soul purpose and wellness and the most fun things I know for me to really get it done fun has to be a priority but I have not done this well I am not consistently good at prioritizing the things I truly go crazy for I can heal this disconnect If I think about how I invest my time I get carried away with learning or day dreaming or not being real Often I invest my best energy in class but afterwards I don’t focus well I am uncomfortable to admit that I do poorly with this I want to invest my time only into writing, learning, enjoying people I adore, deepening my consciousness and being more connected to soul I want to be reading good stuff that wakes me up I want to invest as much energy in myself that I do in my work for others IF I want to keep a customer for life I desire to know who they are deeply an understand what she needs to propel her forward I have to be my best and know myself well and bring the necessary energy every time I have to wake up more I share more authentically and don’t sugar coat what she needs to hear I must grow my speaking, story telling and connection abilities I gotta just keep it the most real, real realll

@Zigzag Idiot lol!! Yesss. Looking forward to your thoughts on it and your dmt experience share. Pretty cool. @Wisebaxter Love what you said. I notoce that my own authenticity is quiete layered in that I have peeled back mamy fake layers and there isbmore to go. Love what you said about the way it's linked to consciousness!

Video for 57/365 This morning I am present to how my automated thinking is in the way of kicking off the day with my new habits. Kinda feel bleh today and not so excited. I kinda know why argh. Diving into my sentence completion and vision now then off to teach class.

57/365 Going IN on my sentence completion and just keeping things super plain and straight forward for awhile gahhh. Til I feel into the habit without having to think thennnn. I will venture out again. MUST HAVE the structure piece for this-- sentence completion for today... It's kind of Ebonics-ish because I type fast! If I look at how I spend my time I gotta use mindfulness I spend too much time on SM I can get better with discipline I prefer to focus on a structured schedule and set alarms ahead of time I see that I get easily distracted I could be way more effective Setting up a structure that is aligned is important, between 5 a.m. and 9:00 pm. When I refleect on the level of awareness I bring to my work life-- I need to make a plan I have slipped here into hypnosis I am ready for bigger, more creative including writing, blogging, and showing up authentically I know that I have outgrown many things I can choose to live in the end I am ready for increased responsibility and learning I know I just need to focus on daily activities I need more awareness moment to moment If I think about how I set my priorities I don't do this I start good then fade I need reminders that feel like potent reminders I could use a meditation or mindfulness strong points each hour or at least 2 hrs I must do this every morning right after waking If I think about how I invest my time I invest it in the wrong thing I am not clear other than work I feel this needs a great deal of focus I am finding a plan today that gets me in alignment here I feel good about it just doing this but not enough to heal it this has always been an issue== invest more important stuff If I want to keep a customer for life I have varied options I talk connected and present with them I can treat them like family not just a custormer I can be real with them to ensure a fit I know that I have to care about their future and life I want to know about them and starts with knowing about myself

Yes it will pass and you'll continue to grow more into knowing yourself as an individual not just part of a couple. You've learned a lot about yourself and about what you want/ don't want in a relationship. Forgive yourself if you need to for anything. Give yourself time without rushing and do some things you may have given up while you were with her. I'm not an expert but I could've used this a couple years ago.

@Uncover interesting. How about more 1 on 1 convos with people with similar interests? Nothing wrong with expanding where you have some level of comfort and going from there. Like "baby steps". There is something to be said about focusing outwardly to get out of our mind-- enjoying nature or conversation is good. Couple of suggestions-- 1.Try regular exercise or movement-- something to help you feel more comfy, even yoga. To get out of your head, into your body. Honestly I think ppl underestimate this. 2. The sentence completions in the book-- The Art of Living Consciously by Nathaniel Branden, might be a good start... There is an example in there that comes to mind from what you described. One day, you'll be great at all kinds of expression... Of course.

@Wisebaxter I love the live Leo enlightenment one toooo! I oddly enjoyed that he seemed to question himself while doing it he he.

56/365 Omagahhh. Real ass connection with humans is so grrrreat. I fell of my sentence completion game so many times that I almost considered giving up but it's just so freakin' good I cannot do that at this time. Quitting is lame. Lol. Some good insights today around judgement of self/others. Cuz come onnnn-- it is one in the same damn thing he he. *You can only understand others and their actions at the level you understand yourself* was kinda right on time for me today. Ooh. Starting from day 1 might have to happen.

@Zigzag Idiot thank you!! I am all better now :). <3 <3

55/365 Since doing the video I feel better. Lots of sleep helped. Yay. Still feeling a bit weird and kinda drained, so I'll be eating more healing foods and expressing as much as possible-- that's where I've been slacking the most. Tuning in a lot also and listening to my soul/ inner knowing.

54/365 Yesterday's vlournel... Yesterday was weird. I taught my classes... Came home gor an hour and cleaned a little bit. Went to my friend's aerial yoga class... Came home dizzy. Today I feel a under weather but trying to wipe it out before it gets to be anything.

52/365 I have been avoiding updating my fitness YT channel on some things... I have put it off for 3 days now lol. Ugh... I don't feel resistance I just keep skipping over it and doing other things. I feel clear that half assing it is so lame-- like a passionless relationship or a soggy handshake. Being honest is my only choice noticing this because there is nothing worse than a half assed, soggy handshake. Needing to study the art of living consciously a little this weekend and get complete around my wellness resort research. Getting bk to asking for all the things too--I felt resistance asking for stuff today. Also some mindfulness research. 53/365 I deleted a video by mistake today (noooo?) so that linda messes up my streak. So bummed. It was a cray cray one too... I get super annoyed with how easily people throw around the term "crazy" because sanity is not defined. So I made a video about it lol. I do want to know where do we get the distinction for "sanity" for real? It's this over used word that has lost all meaning amd I am not sure it had meaning to begin with. We know that obese is a BMI over 25-- this is clear even though inaccurate for different body types. However, how can we define this mis-used and abused term sanity?

@Monkey-man how can you be certain that your glimpses of reality have not deluded you?

The labels "crazy" and "insane" are used sooo frequently to label people who do not conform to mainstream beliefs, even medicate and vindicate people. How do we know what insanity is if we only base it off of how well it fits the current mainstream acceptable beliefs? What is crazy today might be sane next year-- how does anyone get away with terms like this with no ground? What is TRUE sanity/ non-crazy?

Self image-- all personal development even the deepest levels, start and stop here: what you believe about yourself. I love exercise and started there but even this can be destructive if you don't love yourself (sounds mushy but most people don't). Leo has good vids on self image... Many of his later vids also revolve around this topic as well. I wish you well, excited for you.

51/365 Today was one of those days that I really could see some of my small thinking in the way of my expression. And some worries that were just made up putting a damper on my (semi) productive day. I saw this good, good video that mentions a lot about expression (my favorite thing)—so funny because he specifically mentions how women must be expressed. So super goooood. I was like yessss! Obvi! There is nothing new under the sun... why do I make such a big deal about my seemingly crazy ideas when they are all over the place when I search. So many times I went looking for stuff like this but couldn’t find it. Deep, intuitive women really must be expressed though. I feel like I learned over and over again to just stuff all the feelings down and not share. I haven’t talked about this before but when my sister had her first psychotic break— she did lots of tell all e-mails and social media posts outing all what seemed to be her dirty laundry. It was weird because I kinda could understand how it was a way to get the weight off your shoulders—- so much of what she did seemed smart but honestly I was confused then and sometimes now. I usually dont’ feel sad anymore, I just want to shake her and tell her to wake up already. So, I take this message for me. I am doing a video challenge... in my group so counting those for my vids and will add on the Tube... maybe here too.

50/365 I love the feeling of being super empowered after being away in a mastermind then having to lift up my stagnant areas of life to match the new energy. There's this desire to hold on tightly to the refreshed feeling... My sentence completions help. Writing my vision daily and practicing my speaking daily helps also. I have a new phone screen saver with a few I AM statements on it too he he. This video from last night feels even more true today... Every coin has two sides. If one thing exists, it's counter part MUST also exist. This concept also has helped me Know wellness because O have witnessed so much dis-ease in myself/ my sister/ clients/ countless others. "Opposites" clearly teach us without words about the dual nature of life. Everything has an antithesis that defines it's beingness and expression. Same with knowing (conditioned) low self esteem and diminished self worth, so that I can know the depth of confidence also available because of it-- otherwise how could I truly appreciate the beauty in it's totality? One does not exist without the other, and both allow expression of the opposite. How amazing is that?

49/365 Yesterday I almost didn't do a video again and this happens almost every day but then it would be a waste not to at this point. Everyday I say... Does this matter? I think so lol. Yesterday I walked in the door and felt sooo good to be home again. The smell of home was like the best ever... Ahhh. I had fun in Miami but I love the feeling of returning. Here is the vid ai did for yesterday Doing the myth Monday later this week (in challenge ) with the rest of my myth.

Almost omitted because of ? fear: I decided that I want my next retreat to be here... In Miami at the (Carillon) resort. Almost left that out lol because of that massive fail last time. Higher Self Love/True wellness focused= soul aligned body, mind and life retreat. That would require all of me... And I would loooove that he he. This would also require LOTS more sentence completions he he he.

48/365 Almost didn't get this one in he he... So tapped out today! I recalled a lot of big dreams I had given up on because I thought they were impossible. Honestly I think the self esteem sentence completions are a big part of that-- very practical and also very daring. The weekend was spent in Miami with my coach and other small biz owners and... The wellness resort center where we spent the day was amazing. The last time I had a retreat it was a flop because I lacked the courage ti really put it out there... I embarassingly had only one person. And I gave her a discount. Ouch. As I type I am like nooo don't share that in your online journal lol! But I must. My dragon has always been self esteem and self worth... My highest self and dreams have been defeated more times than I can even recall. Sharing this is nothing compared to all my losses. Feels like so much is going on today and I will share here when it's ready to be exposed he he. Day 48 video...

Here is the video for day 47/365. Basically, I did my talk today. I am about to deconstruct my nervous feelings and hash out my talk more. My talk included a lot about my sister and I realized I could mention her current status to wrap up the talk... Even though I purposely do not share about this because it's seemingly not a positive outcome for my twin sister. Enough peopling for today... Time for some processing and then some myth making for Monday yay.

@Wisebaxter thank you for this note! Documenting here adds this nice layer of accountability for me. And it feels a bit artful like creating a painting or something bit by bit. Looking forward to checking out your sentence completion. Some days are easy and some are super uncomfortable. I LOVE the book soo much. I listened to his other books on YouTube as well --all SO good.

46/365 Picking up with days like I didn't fall off he he. My sentence completion was not complete but I feel like its still helping. 47/365 Going to update my talk. Some meditation would have been great this a.m. but I was rushing eek.

45/365 Oops. Updating these tomorrow gahh. Must sleep soon. Somwtimes the sentence completion is extra feather ruffling when its time for action ha ha. So I took a little break for a couple days. I do have some progression around my self esteem, speaking and expression... Which was the point. Here is today's vid:

44/365 The earlier on in the day I can get some exercise and some comfort zone stretching activities in, the better so I notice. I have also felt way more on top of my aligned eating and just aware of when I am taking actions or about to take acyions that don't align with my sentence structures. I have a talk this coming Saturday and I am a bit nervous... Part of me is unsure how to fit everything in and knows some dying off has to happen. Eek.