Shroomdoctor

Feeling especially bad today, wondering why anybody would like being alive.

Well, everyone does. That's because Jesus story is the blueprint for human life.

How sad, I had hoped it might be legit

@stevegan928 Yes not one takes them seriously. In academic circles, those things get shit ton of hate and ridicule.

i dont know ANYONE taking spirituality, religiion, alt healing, chakras etc. even remotely seriously.

@stevegan928 I feel like while Joe might not have everything perfect, he is 1000x more open minded than the average person.

can i give up now ?

I have cut down to the bare essentials: Meditation and NoFap. I am feeling quite depressed at the moment, a lot of suicidal thoughts and anxiety. It takes me around 3-4 hours to sleep. I cant even do easy tasks. I don't know how I would be able to do anything this year. I don't even know if I am able to keep the meager pizza delivery job that pays my bills, and as I have spent all my saved money on i don't know what I don't even have a safety net. I sincerely hope that my daily meditation and Nofap will somehow get me into a position that I can make some forward strides. I dont know how my life has spiraled this much out of control.

@LiakosN NEVER!

@Sahil Pandit you are the shit man <3

2019NeverFap

So the last 3 days I have been working on my routine, standing up at six meditating for 30 minutes, going for a run and then taking a cold shower. Then I meditated another thirty minutes in he evenings. I am really proud of having done that. Although I wasn't able to do anything work related. I thought I wanted to make something with Music this year and stopped my studies for it. But I could not get myself to start working. Just a moment ago i lay down to take a short nap, and I had a fully conscious lucid dream/vision. I heard a huge roar and knew a monster was hiding behind the trees. People were running from it, Nontheless, I decided to face it. I knew I could take it. First, I was overwhelmed by how big it was. It was seriously huge. I sood my ground and blew it away. Instantly, I was hit by a train, my whole body vibrated like hell and I was met with the following repeating image. I saw a teddy bear over the span of his days, waking up, doing stuff, sitting at a fire and going back to sleep. It looked like a childrens story timelapse. It repeated and repeated and repeated. I was so mesmorised, that I did not register the female voice talking at first. I knew what she was saying was important, so I asked her to repeat herself. The she said: "Its not important what you do at six in the morning, but what makes you wake up feeling alive." I know this is huuuge. And I know I did not yet get to the bottom of this. I think...I will redo the life purpose course.

@sarapr Nah, I had these fake wake up things were you are still in a dream.

@Nahm hard to say. I find it really cool my subconcious is talking go me. It was hard waking up and realising it was only a dream. I did not yet fully grasp the concept of the devil is god thing. I think I should think about that a bit.

@aurum @sarapr @Nahm @Max_V @Charlotte I just had another one of those vision dreams. I cant describe it any different. It is kind of crazy. So there was some not so important stuf going on at first, but the most important part is, that the devil was possessing a friend of mine and killed my mother and aunt. I did not knew how to fight the devil at all. I tried, but he was unkillable. Then I was talking to him. I asked him what he was. Why he did what he did. Was he really banned from heaven or did he always want to be this way? I asked him if some people are more evil than others, taking someone killing someone else as an example. Then it somehow hit me, that none of those two people are more evil, but that both are just searching for love. I looked at the devil and hugged him and said "You are god." He then turned into god. He restored the life of my aunt and mom and set everything back to normal. Fun fact: I asked him if he could let my beard grow a bit more, and he said yes. He also restored my father back to life. Then I thought I had woken up. I immediately checked my phone to see if my father REALLY was alive and saw him in my contacts. I drove to my parent house and cried a fuck-ton. I then asked what I was studying. They said something like "Electronics". I said that is not what I am here for. I kind of screamed at them, that I am here to give my unique gift only I can provide to the world, and that those experiences are what making me able to do that.

@Nahm Thanks- Thats really helpfull. You're the king Nahm <3

@Shin That is just untrue. Saying everything is only about enlightenment is the most close minded thing I have ever heard.

@Shin I would see a freaking teddy bear for the rest of my life. Do you have to make everything about enlightment?

@Shin Have you become one of the "Who is having this dream?" answer guys?

@Nahm @Max_V @Psyche_92 @aurum @Charlotte @Shin

@kieranperez Nice! Do you have your vision board on your wall?

@kieranperez wh8ch ones inspired you the most ?

@Ampresus Why would you want to say yes if it goes against your values?

Back at Day 0. Who is with No Fap 2019 with me?

@Shin Well that might be good advice. Gonna cut the "no entertainment" thing out then. Also I know I cant do everything like that since the first day, so I will slowly work my way up. I already feel like I cant do it...