Hardkill

Hey guys, believe it or not, but I have a girlfriend now and she's very hot with a sweet personality. Also, she's about 13 years older than I am. I know that I complained a lot on this forum about having been so sexually frustrated before and feeling so hopeless about my dating, sex, and romance life. However, I think that I am finally getting my payback after all of these years of dealing with so much agony from all of the heartaches I've had throughout my whole life, destroying my ego, doing a ridiculous amount research on attracting women, and going through the trials and tribulations of getting the results I wanted with women, as well as constantly still figuring out what women really are sexually attracted to (which is still something that I of course am continuing to do). I've dated this woman for over 8 months now, which is by far the longest dating period I've ever achieved with any girl ever in my whole life. Hell, my previous personal record was with this asian girl who I went out with for only 6 dates in a row over a period of about 4 months. Yet, I've now been on so many dates with my girlfriend that I can't even count at all how many we've actually been on. However, last week, I told my her that being non-monogamous should be acceptable as long as it is 100% completely honest between all of you. I said to her that there are guys I know or I've heard of who had or currently still have more than one serious girlfriend and/or wife(s) and that all parties have been perfectly fine with each other. She got upset when I said all of that to her on that night. The following morning, after she dropped me off back to my place, she didn't let me kiss her goodbye or even hold her hand for a moment before I got out of the car because she said that she really didn't really appreciate what I said to her the night before. When I told my parents all of this, they said that I really insulted and her and that I should apologize to her and tell her that you really only want to be with her. So, I did that same night and patched it up with her. However, it was at that moment that I declared my full commitment to her because I felt pressured by her and my parents to do so. I am not sure if I did the right thing now.

Hey guys, I just realized something. You know how they say that "no one owes you anything" or "the world doesn't owe you anything" even if you do all of the right things. Well, if that's the case then why are any of us obligated to do what should be done for this world? For example, why should we help others who are desperately in need of money or sustenance? Nobody owes them food, liquids, or money just as nobody owes you food, liquids, or money if you were very poor. Let's take even another example. Why should anyone have to be honest about anything with their romance partners or even those who they are dating just casually? Hell, why not just cheat on your partner for that matter? The people you are dating don't owe you honesty and you don't owe them any honesty in return. How about when it comes to paying some money to someone you technically are in debt to? Besides, having to pay taxes and credit card bills because of the laws in our society, we don't owe anyone else to give them money in return for the money we got from others and vice-versa? Even when it comes to friendships and family, no friend or family member owes you their support in any way or form and vice-versa. In fact, they don't owe you any response from them just as you don't owe them any response at all. What do you guys say about all of this?

I see that more of you guys here have brought up even more valid reasons as to why we sometimes do owe someone something. So would you guys say that the old axioms "the world doesn't owe you anything" or "you never deserve anything" or "you are never guaranteed or entitled to anything in this world" or "there are no guarantees in life" are not always true?

This is so hilarious. I am LMFAO. You're responses haven't given me any suggestions or advice, but they simplistically prove my point.

You're absolutely right. You don't. I don't owe you an answer either.

Yeah all children know that these morals or ideals are the right thing to do. However, they are naive about the real world and how dark and unfair it is. This world cannot function on ideals and pleasantries. Sometimes we must go to the dark side to survive or succeed in life. Also, I don't trust people including women as much as I used to.

So my life purpose for now could be making money?

Yeah, I agree with everything that you said here. So, when it comes to relationships or social situations, then why should I ever trust anyone if there are no guarantees in someone being there for us because neither one of us ever owes anything to the other when it comes to those kind of matters? Also, why should I have faith or confidence that our goals or dreams will come true for sure if there are no guarantees that the world doesn't ever owe us success in life?

So, it's not that my life purpose now should be about making more money for myself. It's just the main thing that I need to focus on now is making more money, right?

Well, ok. I don’t think that I can live in a cave by myself and survival out in the wild. I am grateful that my parents have been able to support me well. You’re right, I am lucky in that sense. The thing is that I because there are “no guarantees in life” I just don’t know what to do or what the best option is for me for the rest of my life. I don’t want to waste my whole life going down a wrong path and then end up regretting it on my deathbed. I remember you’re last post on one of my previous threads, where you mentioned about the fact that I need to make money first. So, is making money my life purpose for now?

Valid point have been made here. However, what about when it comes to friends or people we are dating? I mean, there will always be time where people want to respond to any of your messages on any platform for whatever reason they have. It hurts, but none of the people whom you just met or barely know owe you a response. A lot of people cheat on their partners or take advantageous of them. It's not right that those people did that, but they don't owe anything to them really. So why don't we all just be rude, cheat, and lie? We don't owe it to anyone to be a decent human being.

I met my very first real girlfriend last year when I was 30 years old and I don’t usually like to brag, but a lot of people throughout my whole life have told me that I look like a model or actor. Hell, some have even said that I am better looking than A LOT of models and actors, including celebrity level ones out there.

As small as his size is downstairs.

Leo, you can’t handle the brutal truth. ???

Unfortunately, I can't find the time and money to buy an LP program like Leo's at this point in time. Believe me, I wish I could now, but I don't know how right now.

Well yeah open relationships aren't necessarily more advanced in terms of the type of relationship. However, as @Elisabeth just said, managing an open relationship requires learning advanced relationship skills fast. I even just read a few reliable sources that explained that to be the case. Not to mention, the amount of time I would have to manage with my life for an open relationship, and I suck at time management.

Alright, then I've believe that I've finally come to the decision of trying out this long-term committed relationship that I am in. After receiving the advice you guys all gave me and having further looked up more about polyamory relationships, I actually don't think that I am really ready for that. Hopefully in the future, after I've gained enough relationship experience in general, I will be ready for an open relationship. Thank you everyone.

Your concern is valid. A lot of men out there like me used to be very concerned about ever doing pickup again. However, the fact is that it’s been extremely rare for someone to be arrested for just trying to picking up someone out on the street. Just don’t be like Julien Blanc who advertises that stupid joke or meme that advocated for verbally and physically abusing women and don’t be like that downtown LA “predator” Dan Cilley who got registered as a sex offender for getting caught posting video recordings on Youtube, for public viewing access, of the hundreds of girls he filmed on his camera without getting permission from any of them, including a 15 year old whom he asked for her number and possibly a date. He even made his camera recording so obvious to every single one of the girls he filmed that the vast majority of them asked or told him to not film them. Furthermore, even when they said no, he kept going at it with them. Just don’t be like those guys and you should be fine when cold approaching.

I don’t know, man. See, this is the problem I have. I fear that I may be too lazy for that. However, I have to get this in order to start making a decent amount of money and leave my parents’ home for good. Again, I am no longer in my 20s.

Yes, I absolutely plan to be a teacher for a while.

Hmm, maybe going in the "right direction" would make things feel a lot less like grueling work. Sometimes working out or practicing martial arts helps to quiet my mind. However, I have to get this Master's degree in teaching. I already had to withdraw from an OT program from another university and I just recently turned 31 and my really really want to stop supporting me as soon as possible and I want to stop them supporting as much as possible. So what can I do to tolerate the workload I will have to deal with for the rest of the program that I am in.

Guys, this all sounds good, but even if I do find some hobby or something I am passionate about that would give me the best shot to or even perhaps a guarantee to make me good money, I don’t even know if I’ll even be able to have the mental stamina or willpower to follow through with it enough. I mean how can I expect to ever independently run a business or independently make my own through tutoring or what have you, if I am still such a dysfunctional worker? Also, what will I do when I have really bad meltdowns in the future over failing something constantly especially when to come business related work? I am not trying to say that you guys are wrong, but I still don’t know how I am ever going to get myself together as a functional independent adult? Also, I forgot to mention that unfortunately I can’t afford at this point in time to pay for a qualified therapist or coach whom I can see like every week or month to help me out with this situation.

I see your point. As to answering your questions: 1. I think that I wouldn't mind it if she slept with another. 2. Yeah, I would feel down about that. However, I think I've finally began to crack the code with dating and how the game works after all of these years of trial and error in practice and extensive research like crazy. I just have to keep playing the numbers game and constantly work on my charisma and masculinity. 3. Yeah, I am not sure about how I would be able to handle that. It could at least be a learning experience for me. 4. I think that I would be mentally prepared to handle that. This could also It could at least be a learning experience for me. 5. Same answer as I have for the previous question.

Sounds like an interesting idea. However, what are the chances that this will ever become lucrative for me?

Well, I'll try that. However, I don't know how I will be able to handle the times when I get so down and so preoccupied about other things in my life while I am working. I get so easily distracted by all of these thoughts and feelings.